Happily Ever After by Pamela St Vines
Chapter One
By Aaran St Vines
The initial manuscript of Pride and Prejudice was written during 1796-1797 under the title First Impressions. The novel was never published under
that title. After revisions it was first published on January 28, 1813. I choose to set my P & P stories just before the publication date. Therefore, Darcy and Elizabeth would have first
met in the fall of 1812 with "Happily Ever After" taking place in 1813.
Elizabeth Bennet was shocked when the housekeeper announced, "A Colonel Fitzwilliam is without, ma'am. Shall I show him in?"
Seeing her mother's confusion, Elizabeth hastened to explain. "He is Mr. Darcy's cousin, Mama. We met in Kent."
Mrs. Bennet merely nodded for Hill to admit the man, but Elizabeth could see the gleam of anticipation in her eyes. With Elizabeth's mother, a visit from an eligible bachelor was never just a visit. She was probably already contemplating the marriage of Elizabeth and the colonel. While Elizabeth liked Colonel Fitzwilliam very much, she knew they were simply friends. As the second son of an earl, he was all but obligated to marry very well indeed.
Before Elizabeth could woolgather any further, the colonel was bowing before them. She made the necessary introductions and then sat back to wonder why he was here.
"It's so nice to see you again, Miss Bennet. I was passing through Hertfordshire on an errand for the general and could not resist the temptation to stop in."
The other Bennet ladies accepted this explanation, but Elizabeth thought it suspicious. Whatever the reason for the colonel's visit, his pleasant conversation and ready smiles impressed her mother and sisters, much as they had impressed Elizabeth herself in Kent.
Thinking of Kent brought other memories to mind, memories that made Elizabeth far from comfortable. She could hear Mr. Darcy's voice telling her he loved her, followed by her own tirade as she refused his proposal. Yes, for all the colonel's good manners and affability, Elizabeth was most uneasy in his presence, remembering how she had upbraided his cousin.
The colonel noticed Elizabeth's blush and hoped she was thinking of Darcy. Turning to her mother he politely asked, "Mrs. Bennet, might I have the pleasure of Miss Elizabeth's company for a turn around your garden? I have been sitting in the coach all morning and find myself in need of exercise."
Her nerves all a flutter at the prospect of Lizzy engaged to the son of an earl, Mrs. Bennet readily gave her permission. "Why certainly, Colonel Fitzwilliam. I am sure that Lizzy would enjoy a walk as well. It is a beautiful morning."
Once they were outside and out of hearing, Elizabeth could not resist teasing him, "So Colonel, how extraordinary that your general should have business so near Meryton of all places."
Fitzwilliam did not appear the least bit affronted. In fact, he laughed. "Ah, Miss Bennet, I had forgotten just how clever you are. Yes, you have caught me. I have not chosen the most direct route for my travels on the general's behalf."
"And just where are you supposed to be, Colonel Fitzwilliam?"
"I am actually on my way to Plymouth, via Meryton. It's not the route one would usually follow between London and Plymouth, but I am taking precautions to avoid enemy agents. Of course, upon arriving in Meryton, I realized that a letter would do just as well for the general's commission, so I shall return to London tomorrow."
Seeing how pleased the Colonel was with himself, Elizabeth could not help laughing. "Well, then for King and Country, may I welcome you to Meryton. We are amazingly free of French agents here in the countryside so I think you are safe for the moment, sir."
"That is a relief, Miss Bennet." Suddenly Fitzwilliam's expression became quite serious. "I hope you will not think me an impudent dog when I divulge my real reason for calling on you."
Although she was anxious, Elizabeth managed to maintain her calm exterior as she waited for him to continue.
"I am not on a commission for my general, Miss Bennet, but rather for my cousin."
"Your cousin, sir?" Elizabeth had wondered if this visit had anything to do with Mr. Darcy, but she was shocked that the colonel would admit it so openly. "It is not my intention to be rude, Colonel, but I do not comprehend your meaning. Mr. Darcy and I are not the best of friends; therefore, I cannot understand your presence here."
"Forgive me, Miss Bennet. I did not speak plainly. I am sent to you by my cousin Georgiana."
"Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth was astonished. "But we have never met."
"That is why Georgiana thought it might draw unwelcome attention if she were to write to you openly. She trusted in my discretion to find a way to give you this."
The colonel slipped a letter into Elizabeth's hand before she realized what he was about. She looked at him questioningly and the colonel continued.
"I have not read it, Miss Bennet, but I do know something of its contents. Georgiana suggested I give you time to read her letter and reflect upon it before asking for your reply. Perhaps I might call again tomorrow before I hasten away-- on the general's behalf, of course."
Elizabeth was nearly overwhelmed with curiosity and anxiety, but she managed a polite response. "Yes, you may call tomorrow, Colonel. I am confident my family would enjoy seeing you again before you depart."
"Thank you, Miss Bennet."
For just a moment, Colonel Fitzwilliam dropped his guard and Elizabeth saw genuine compassion and concern in his eyes.
"Please give my compliments to your family, Miss Bennet. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
Mrs. Bennet was disappointed that the colonel had not proposed to Elizabeth in the garden, but she was content to know that he would return tomorrow. If Lizzy did not suit him, then perhaps Colonel Fitzwilliam would fall in love with one of her other daughters. Maybe Lydia would do for him. Lydia was, after all, her own particular favorite.
Elizabeth lingered with her family long enough to be certain she engendered no suspicions toward herself. Although she managed to behave normally, Elizabeth could think of nothing but the unopened letter in her pocket. What could Miss Darcy mean by writing to her? Surely, she didn't know of her brother's proposal. Elizabeth could hardly envision the proud Mr. Darcy telling his sister, or his cousin for that matter, of her refusal. But what of that one moment when Colonel Fitzwilliam had looked so concerned? It seemed as if he knew something of her history with his cousin.
The family conversation finally turned to some local gossip, and Elizabeth felt secure that her mother and sisters suspected nothing. With murmured excuses she left as if going upstairs and then slipped away from the house. Elizabeth walked some distance before settling herself under the shade of an oak to read Miss Darcy's letter. Her hands were actually shaking as she broke the seal.
Dear Miss Bennet,
Please forgive me for daring to write this letter. I realize we have not been introduced and it is presumptuous of me to impose upon you so. However, I must as I do not know where else to turn. I am most distressed for my brother, Miss Bennet. Fitzwilliam has not been himself since his return from Kent. At first he was merely silent and unhappy. Now he is also unwell. Our cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam finally resorted to spirits to pry the truth from him. Please do not fear any reproach from me, Miss Bennet. While I love my brother dearly, I know that he is often misunderstood by strangers. In fact, Fitzwilliam gave us to understand that he had behaved very badly towards you, your family and your neighbors. Therefore, it was entirely understandable for you to refuse him.When Cousin Richard finally got him to talk about his unhappiness, Fitzwilliam confessed that you rightfully despised him. He has always been so strong and confident. Now it would seem that he despises himself. My brother's low spirits have affected his health. He came down with the fever several weeks ago. With youth and general good health in his favor, our physician initially expected Fitzwilliam to rally quickly. The fearful truth is that his condition has deteriorated at an alarming rate. Last night Dr. Abercrombie advised me to prepare for the worst. I must confess that his warning is what gave me the courage to write you.
I fear Fitzwilliam has simply given up. I do not expect you to accept a man you do not love, Miss Bennet. In fact, I admire your courage in refusing his offer of marriage. Yet I know you are a kind and compassionate woman. My brother could not love you so if that were not true. He may sometimes be proud and stubborn, but Fitzwilliam is no fool.Could you find it in your heart to let my brother know that you do not despise him? I think that if Fitzwilliam knew you were not thinking ill of him, he might be able to rouse his once formidable will and fight to survive. I do not ask you to offer him false hope, but merely to let him know that his bad behavior has been forgiven. We will remain in London for the present. I have insisted that be so, as my brother is truly not well enough to travel at this time. It is also my secret hope that you might be able to come to London. I understand from my brother that you have family here.
I would so like to meet you, Miss Bennet, for I have long suspected my brother's attachment for you. I first guessed it when he was at Netherfield last fall as Fitzwilliam's letters never failed to mention you.
Please have pity on me. Fitzwilliam is my family. I shudder to think what my life would be like without him. My cousin will be at your disposal should you be able to journey to London at this time. It is my fervent hope that we might meet soon. May God bless you.
Sincerely,Georgiana Darcy
The plight of Mr. Darcy and his sister moved her to tears. Yes, Elizabeth wanted to assist them and perhaps make up for the wrong she had done Mr. Darcy in judging him so harshly. But how could it be done? Elizabeth could not possibly leave Hertfordshire tomorrow with Colonel Fitzwilliam. It was unthinkable that Mr. Darcy's proposal and her refusal become common knowledge. That would be too cruel. Yet to travel to London on such an errand without explanation would cause a great deal of gossip. It might irreparably damage her reputation.
How Elizabeth wished it were possible to write her aunt and receive a response in the same day. If only Aunt Gardiner invited her to Gracechurch Street, then Elizabeth might be able to call on Miss Darcy. Little did she know that such an invitation was already en route and would arrive that very day.
Two of the Gardiner children were also down with the fever that was raging through London. The Bennets received a letter that afternoon asking leave to send the other children to Longbourn. The Gardiners also requested sanctuary for two of the their servants. If it met with the Bennets' approval, the Gardiners would send them to Longbourn to assist with the children. Finally, Aunt Gardiner's letter begged Elizabeth's assistance in London, since she was the only one of the Bennets to have had the fever.
Mr. Bennet dispatched an express right away so that the young Gardiners might be removed from contagion as soon as possible. The question remained of how Elizabeth could travel to London most expeditiously.
As this was being debated, Elizabeth mentioned Colonel Fitzwilliam's plan to return to London the following day. Perhaps if one of the maids went with her, she could travel to London under the colonel's protection. Everyone could see the merits of this solution, as Elizabeth would be at the Gardiners' tomorrow afternoon. It was soon decided that their maid Sally would accompany Elizabeth as chaperone. Sally had also had the fever and would be able to help with nursing the young Gardiners. Elizabeth was sent upstairs to pack and Mr. Bennet left straightaway to call upon Colonel Fitzwilliam at the inn and ask his assistance.
To say that the colonel was delighted to be of service to the Bennets would be something of an understatement. Colonel Fitzwilliam was relieved, as would his cousin be, when he assured her of Miss Bennet's presence in London tomorrow evening. Fitzwilliam had thought Georgiana's scheme had little chance of success, but the fortuitous timing of events gave him hope for both his cousins.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was at Longbourn early the next morning, as Mr. Bennet had invited him for breakfast. Talk around the Bennets' table was usually quite animated. Today, however, they were preoccupied with worry for the Gardiners. The meal was eaten in relative silence and it seemed no time before the colonel was handing Elizabeth and Sally into the carriage. He would ride alongside the coach to afford Miss Bennet room and privacy.
Sally had been with the Bennets for many years and understood Miss Lizzy's moods well. The maid remained silent throughout the journey staring out the window when she wasn't dozing. She could tell Miss Lizzy was too worried for small talk.
Elizabeth was completely unaware of the passing countryside. She was concerned for her dear relatives, of course, but in reality Elizabeth's thoughts were fixed on Mr. Darcy. It was frightening that such a strong, healthy young man could lie near death. Elizabeth was worried for Mr. Darcy and his poor sister. In truth, she was also anxious for herself. What would she say to him if given the opportunity?
Elizabeth was filled with remorse for losing her temper with Mr. Darcy in April. She could not regret refusing him, but she was very sorry for wounding him. She had been filled with regret since reading Mr. Darcy's letter refuting her accusations. Almost everything she had held against him was untrue. Elizabeth's face glowed with shame just to think of it. If Mr. Darcy died without ever knowing that she believed him-- If he died without knowing how sorry she was for her unkind words, it would be more than she could bear.
Elizabeth was so wrapped up in her own misery that she did not notice their entry into the city. Her reverie continued uninterrupted until the carriage stopped in front of the Gardiners' home. Elizabeth had written a note to Georgiana late last night. She surreptitiously handed it to the Colonel as he helped her alight from the carriage. "For your cousin, sir," she whispered.
Aunt Gardiner herself met them at the door. Her fatigue was evident; however, she was extremely grateful to Colonel Fitzwilliam for bringing her niece to town. She rallied to greet him courteously and expressed a sincere wish that the colonel would call on them in the near future when all the Gardiners were well again. Colonel Fitzwilliam thanked her warmly.
Before departing he said, "I am on leave at present and will be staying with my cousins, Miss Bennet. As I mentioned Darcy himself has the fever and I hope to be of service to Georgiana during his illness. I would also be delighted to be of assistance to you if the occasion should arise. Please feel free to send word at any time you have need of me. Here is my cousins' address."
"Thank you, Colonel. You've already done so much just bringing me to my family here. I hope you find all to be well with your cousins. Please let Miss Darcy know that I am praying for her brother's recovery and that I am willing to assist her if that be possible."
"Thank you for that, Miss Bennet. I bid you goodnight."
Sally had already gone to unpack their things so Elizabeth hung up her own hat and coat. As they walked to the sick room, Aunt Gardiner asked, "Did I hear you sending a message to Miss Darcy, Lizzy? I did not realize you were acquainted with her."
"Only in a round about way, Aunt. We have never actually met." Elizabeth would not lie to her aunt, but she could hardly tell her everything. She told what she could of the truth and hoped it made sense. "I had occasion to meet her cousin Miss de Bourgh in Kent this spring, and of course, I met her brother last fall. Recently Miss Darcy and I have begun to correspond. She seems a very sweet young lady and I think she is lonesome for female companionship."
"That is very good of you, Lizzy. It must be lonely for a young girl being raised by her bachelor brother. Perhaps, you will be able to meet in person while you are here. Children are remarkably resilient and I hope Emma and Peter will soon be well."
Aunt Gardiner was plainly exhausted so Elizabeth sent her off to bed shortly after supper, promising that she or Sally would be with the children through the night. Her uncle had escorted the other children to Longbourn and would not return home for several days.
Emma and Peter were little trouble as they were too tired to be demanding. Elizabeth watched over them and applied cold compresses when Emma's fever started to climb. The compresses were effective so Elizabeth was able to relax in a chair between their beds for some time. She found nursing those she loved to be very gratifying and these two little ones were quite dear to her. Watching the children sleeping peacefully, Elizabeth took encouragement that perhaps the disease was already running its course.
As the children slept, her thoughts were continually drawn to Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth wanted to help him, but could not decide how it might be done without revealing the particulars of their history. Her absorption was so great that Elizabeth did not hear Sally enter the room in the wee hours of the morning.
"It is your turn to rest now, Miss Lizzy. I have had a lovely long nap, not to mention the sleeping I did in the coach today. I will be fine until morning. You go on to bed now, and I promise to call you if there is anything amiss."
Finally allowing herself to feel how tired she was, Elizabeth was grateful that Sally had accompanied her to London. "Thank you, Sally. I know my cousins are in good hands."
"Go on now, Miss Lizzy. Your nightgown is all laid out for you."
Elizabeth managed a tired smile of thanks and left the room. Her fatigue quickly overcame her whirling thoughts and Elizabeth slept.
The next day passed uneventfully. Elizabeth stayed busy helping her aunt in any way possible, but the Darcys were never far from her thoughts. Elizabeth felt she owed something to Mr. Darcy, an apology at the very least. Yet, how she could possibly call upon them under the circumstances?
Aunt Gardiner insisted that Elizabeth rest for several hours in the afternoon, as she and Sally were planning to divide the night watch again. Elizabeth dutifully lay down, but she was too consumed with worry for Mr. Darcy to sleep. Her anxiety grew with each passing hour. What if the unthinkable had happened and he were now dead? It was too horrible to consider.
Emma and Peter were much improved and both slept peacefully through Elizabeth's watch that night. She was relieved that they were better, but Elizabeth missed the nursing chores that had distracted her the night before. As she sat quietly between the children's beds, Elizabeth's thoughts were divided between memories of Mr. Darcy and her growing fear that it might be too late to make amends to the gentleman.
The sun was well up when Elizabeth awoke the next day. She dressed quickly and then stopped to look in on the children before going down to breakfast. They were both sound asleep under the watchful eye of the Gardiner's longtime servant Maggie. Maggie raised a finger to her lips and nodded proudly to two half eaten bowls of gruel on the table. The children had evidently taken some breakfast before going back to sleep. Elizabeth smiled and nodded her understanding before she quietly slipped away. She found Aunt Gardiner having breakfast in the dining parlor.
"Good morning, Aunt. I trust you slept well."
"Yes, I did, Lizzy. Thank you again for coming and for bringing Sally with you. I was nearly asleep on my feet when you arrived. I was almost too tired to sleep that first night, but as for last night, I slept very well indeed. It is amazing what a good night's sleep can do to restore one's spirits. I could tell Maggie was feeling much better this morning, too. Did she tell you that the children actually ate a little breakfast?"
"Yes, that is good news, Aunt. If the children are eating again, they will soon be stronger."
"You are such a comfort, Lizzy. I encouraged your uncle to stay at Longbourn, knowing that I would have you to lean on. Of course, he would hear none of that and plans to return home today. His exact words were, 'If I cannot look after the children, then I shall look after you, my dear.' I hope you have such a husband yourself one day, Lizzy."
"I hope so, too," Elizabeth agreed.
They were just finishing breakfast when a knock was heard at the door. Sally soon came into the dining parlor.
"Excuse me, ma'am. This message has come for you, Miss Lizzy, and the man what brought it is waiting for your answer."
Elizabeth recognized the handwriting and found her own hands sadly unsteady as she broke the seal. "It's from Miss Darcy, Aunt."
Elizabeth paled as she read the note. Then unable to speak she handed it to her aunt.
Dear Miss Bennet,
I was so relieved when Cousin Richard told me you were come to town. I had hoped to call upon you at your aunt's, but I cannot leave my brother. Fitzwilliam's condition is much worse. He is delirious with fever now and I fear he may not linger long. Fitzwilliam asked for you repeatedly during the night, and I think he would be more at peace if he knew you had forgiven him. I understand that you are busy caring for your own loved ones, but I am at my wit's end, Miss Bennet. I have sent the carriage in hopes that you will be able to come. Please help me, Miss Bennet. I am lost.
Yours truly,Georgiana Darcy
Mrs. Gardiner was stunned. Clearly there was much more to the history between her niece and the Darcys than she knew. Being a compassionate woman, Mrs. Gardiner realized that there would be time for questions later. Right now Lizzy was clearly most distressed for the Darcys and they obviously had need of her.
She spoke gently, "Lizzy, can you bear it? Can you go to Miss Darcy or shall I write a reply for you?"
"No, I think I had best go, Aunt, if you approve."
Proud of her niece's unselfishness, Mrs. Gardiner smiled encouragingly and patted her hand.
"Yes, love, I think perhaps you ought to go. It sounds as if Miss Darcy is quite alone. We will be fine this morning. I shall expect you back this afternoon, but, Lizzy-- If things go ill and Miss Darcy needs you to stay, send word so that I will know what is happening."
Nodding, Elizabeth turned to Sally who was waiting by the door, trying not to intrude.
"Sally, please tell the man who delivered the message that I am coming. I will be ready shortly."
"Yes, Miss Lizzy."
Once the maid was gone, Mrs. Gardiner rose and embraced her niece. "I do not know what has happened between you and Mr. Darcy, Lizzy, but I trust you. I shall ask questions later. For now though, go help his poor sister if you can. She does not know the comfort a sister or a niece can give. Perhaps you can offer her a taste of that today. I have Maggie and Sally to help me with the children, but it sounds as if Miss Darcy has no one."
Elizabeth was too consumed with fear and grief to think on what she would say or do when she arrived at the Darcys' townhouse. She simply went. Colonel Fitzwilliam met her in the entryway. His usual cheer was gone, but he seemed immensely relieved to see her.
"Miss Bennet, I cannot thank you enough for coming. I do not know that there is anything to be done for Darcy now, but Georgiana's mind will be eased considerably by your presence."
"I am most concerned for both your cousins, Colonel. I think this is not the time to stand on ceremony. May I see Miss Darcy?"
"Certainly. I am afraid I have not been much help to poor Georgie. I do not know how to comfort her or encourage her. Anything you can do to assist her is greatly appreciated, Miss Bennet."
The Colonel ushered her upstairs and down a long hallway. Signaling Elizabeth to wait, he took a few more steps down the hall and knocked quietly on a door. Looking back over his shoulder, the Colonel whispered to Elizabeth, "She refuses to leave his side."
The Colonel then opened the door and stuck his head into the room. Elizabeth could hear him whispering, "Georgie, she's come. Miss Bennet is here."
Colonel Fitzwilliam was swept aside by his young cousin. Miss Darcy was lovely even with dark circles of fatigue under her eyes. She was too relieved to have Elizabeth Bennet here at last to worry about propriety. Georgiana Darcy began to weep even as she embraced Elizabeth.
Elizabeth held her and gently patted her back, knowing that the girl would feel better after a good cry. The Colonel stood by looking genuinely distressed. He was uncertain of what to do until Elizabeth gestured with a nod for him to leave. He quietly headed for the stairs trusting his cousin to her care.
The two young women stood thusly for some moments. When Georgiana had cried herself out, she stepped back, taking Elizabeth's hands in her own. "Oh, Elizabeth, thank God you have come." Realizing the familiarity of her address Georgiana began to blush. "I am sorry, Miss Bennet. I did not mean to presume--"
Elizabeth stopped her apology. "Please do not trouble yourself. These are very unusual circumstances for a first meeting. I hope you will call me Elizabeth and may I call you Georgiana?"
"Yes, please. I do not mean to embarrass you, Elizabeth, but you are just as perfect as I pictured."
Elizabeth could not resist a low laugh at this surprising pronouncement. "I am far from perfect, Georgiana, but you will soon discover that for yourself."
Lowering her tone, Elizabeth fearfully asked, "How fares your brother?"
"There has been no change since I wrote to you this morning. Please come in and speak to him, Elizabeth."
"Of course, but do not expect too much, Georgiana. Mr. Darcy may not recognize me in his weakened condition, but I will certainly speak to him. I would gladly help you in any way possible."
"Thank you, Elizabeth. It may sound silly, but my heart tells me that if Fitzwilliam hears your voice and knows you are here, he will improve."
Georgiana helped Elizabeth remove her hat and wrap, placing them on a table in the hallway. She then took Elizabeth by the hand and led her into her brother's room.
The curtains were drawn on the window nearest the bed, but the other draperies were opened admitting the morning sun and fresh air into the room. Elizabeth was dismayed by the great change in Darcy's appearance. His face had a gaunt, hollow look that even his beard could not disguise. His eyes were closed but Darcy's hands were moving restlessly, pulling at the bedclothes. Georgiana released Elizabeth's hand and reached out to gently shake him.
"Fitzwilliam, wake up. You have company. Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth is here at last. Come, brother. You must wake up and talk to her. Elizabeth is here."
At first Elizabeth thought he would not wake, but at the second mention of her name Darcy's eyelids fluttered. He focused with obvious effort on his sister's face. His throat was so dry he could scarcely speak, "Elizabeth is here?"
"Yes, she has come to see you, dear brother. Let me get you some water."
Georgiana filled a glass from the pitcher on his bedside table and gently helped her brother raise his head so that he could take a sip. As Darcy lay back down, she smoothed his hair and kissed his brow.
"I will be over by the window if you need me, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth sat down in the chair beside Darcy's bed, her hands resting lightly on the edge of the mattress. It distressed her to see him so, but she did not want to cry. That would not help either of the Darcys. Elizabeth tried to smile at him as she strove to control her emotions. She was surprised by the strength of her despair. Elizabeth did not realize she was wringing her hands until she felt the warmth of Darcy's fevered hand upon them.
"Elizabeth?"
Darcy saw her. He felt her hands beneath his own, but his mind could not grasp that she was really there. It was as if one of his dreams had come to life. Yet seeing the gravity and distress on her countenance, Darcy knew that this was real.
"Elizabeth, why are you here?"
His speech was hesitant and his voice, barely audible, but she took courage from his lucidity.
"Mr. Darcy, this may not be the best time for it, but I felt I had to apologize to you."
Darcy looked as if he wanted to protest. Knowing he was too weak for a prolonged discussion, Elizabeth stopped him by squeezing his hand. She then continued on.
"Please, sir. You must allow me to speak. My behavior towards you in April was abominable, and I couldn't bear it if you were to--" Elizabeth took a deep breath and then continued through her tears. "I couldn't bear it for you-- You must know, Mr. Darcy, that I no longer think of you as I did then. I know now that I was very wrong about you, sir. I hope you can one day forgive me for speaking to you so unkindly."
Darcy spoke with difficulty. "There is nothing to forgive, dearest Elizabeth. You were right about many things."
Elizabeth's concern for Darcy overrode her own embarrassment. She forced herself to meet his gaze as she protested this harsh judgment of himself.
"No, sir. I was wrong. You are an honorable man and I misjudged you terribly. Please do not think on what I said then. It was wrong of me to speak so." She looked down as her mortification grew. "I am sorry, Mr. Darcy. I wish we could go back to the beginning and start our acquaintance anew. Then I might not have so much of which to be ashamed."
Her voice was barely audible toward the last, but Darcy heard every word. His heart began to race as he dared to hope. Elizabeth was offering her forgiveness and her friendship. Darcy squeezed her hand.
"Please look at me, Elizabeth."
She hesitantly raised her eyes and saw him looking upon her with such obvious love that it nearly took her breath.
Lacing his fingers through hers, Darcy continued, "I would wish to begin anew also, Elizabeth. Would you consider-- Would you give me another chance?"
She smiled through her tears and clasped his hand firmly in both her own. After a moment Elizabeth felt as if she could trust herself to speak again, "Yes, Mr. Darcy," she whispered. "How could I refuse such a generous offer?"
Elizabeth found herself wanting to reach out and brush the hair from his brow with her fingertips, but she dare not. She offered him a small smile instead.
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy. It is very kind of you to overlook my past wrongs, sir. For now though, the most important thing is your health. We must have you well again. Please try for your dear sister's sake. Please try, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth's head dropped down on his bed as she began to weep, and Darcy tenderly caressed her hair.
"It is alright, dearest," he whispered. "Do not cry over me. All will be well. I promise, Elizabeth."
Then rousing himself, Darcy spoke a little louder, "Georgiana?"
Approaching the bed, Georgiana sighed with relief. Seeing her brother stroking his beloved's hair, she knew that her instincts had been right. Elizabeth's presence was already making him better.
Darcy looked into his sister's eyes and whispered, "Thank you."
Georgiana gave him a radiant smile in response. She then slipped out to tell their cousin of Darcy's improvement, leaving Elizabeth and Darcy alone for a few minutes. Elizabeth was trying to compose herself and wishing she had a handkerchief when Darcy spoke.
"Elizabeth, would you please get something for me from the top drawer of that armoire?"
"Certainly, sir," Elizabeth replied glad to be of use in some way. Opening the drawer she saw a supply of neatly folded handkerchiefs. Smiling, she asked, "Would you like a handkerchief, Mr. Darcy?"
"Actually, I thought you might like one."
Giving him her best impertinent grin, Elizabeth said, "Thank you, sir. It is only fair, that after making me weep so, you should supply the means to dry my tears."
"I would that I could dry them myself, Elizabeth, but I am not able at the moment."
"Well, you must apply your considerable powers towards getting better, sir. It is time you start to think of the rest of us."
Darcy's smile was weak, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Believe me, Elizabeth. I do think of you. Sometimes I can think of little else."
Elizabeth was overcome with embarrassment. Fortunately Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived just at that moment. A tea tray was delivered shortly thereafter.
Georgiana had her cousin pull two more chairs up beside the bed and then proceeded to serve them as if bedside tea parties were the most natural thing in the world. Colonel Fitzwilliam was amazed by the change in his cousin's condition. Darcy was still pale and weak, but he seemed himself again. He even took a little tea. Fitzwilliam found himself sharing Georgiana's hope that Miss Bennet's visit would make the difference.
Realizing the morning would soon be gone and seeing that Mr. Darcy looked in need of a nap, Elizabeth declared that she must return to Gracechurch Street. Colonel Fitzwilliam immediately offered to drive her home in Darcy's curricle.
"That would be lovely, Colonel. I would enjoy the fresh air."
"Excellent." He excused himself to see to the horses, assuring Elizabeth that all would be ready shortly.
When his cousin had left the room, Darcy reached for Elizabeth's hand again. "Will you come again?"
"Yes, please, Elizabeth." Georgiana added.
Elizabeth smiled shyly as she responded, "Of course, if you wish it."
Both Darcys were pleased and relieved by her agreement.
"Now I must be going, and perhaps you should be thinking of a nap, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth gently encouraged him.
Georgiana instantly agreed. "Yes, Fitzwilliam, we do not want you to overdo now that you are feeling better. I'll walk Elizabeth out and then I will be back to check on you."
Arm in arm the two young women headed toward the hallway. As they neared the door Elizabeth felt Georgiana sway beside her. She managed to catch the younger girl and steer her into a nearby chair. Elizabeth then turned to Darcy who was already struggling to rise from the bed.
"No, Mr. Darcy, you must stay put. Your sister would never forgive herself if you got up too soon and had a relapse. I will see to her." Feeling Georgiana's brow, Elizabeth said, "She is feverish, but it may be exhaustion. Do not assume the worst, sir. Perhaps you would just ring for the servants. I do not want to release Georgiana at the moment."
A servant soon appeared followed almost immediately by Colonel Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth took charge without a thought. A message was dispatched to the doctor and the colonel was instructed to carry Georgiana to her room. Elizabeth then gave Colonel Fitzwilliam strict orders to keep Darcy in bed, as she turned her full attention to his sister. Once she had Georgiana changed into her nightgown and settled into bed, Elizabeth placed a cold compress on her brow in hopes of reducing her fever.
When Georgiana roused from her stupor she cried out in panic, "Fitzwilliam!"
"Do not worry about your brother, Georgiana. He is better. Remember? I have given him strict orders to stay put, and your cousin knows that I will have his head if Mr. Darcy puts one toe out of bed."
This elicited a wan smile from Georgiana. Elizabeth continued soothing and fussing over her.
"The doctor will be here soon and I will have him check on your brother after he examines you. Now sip some water for me, Georgie. That's a good girl. Lie back and try to rest. I will stay right here with you."
Georgiana soon fell into a fitful sleep. As the hours dragged by, Elizabeth grew anxious. She frantically wished the doctor would come, but the fever was raging across the city. The doctor might not receive the summons for hours if he were out on other calls. Realizing that she needed a fresh supply of cool water, Elizabeth rang the bell. The answering maid was quickly dispatched for fresh water and additional pieces of flannel. Elizabeth decided she had best begin applying compresses to Georgiana's chest as well as her brow to hold the fever at bay. While awaiting the maid's return, Elizabeth dashed off a note to her aunt explaining that Georgiana was now ill and that Elizabeth did not feel she could leave her. When the maid returned, Elizabeth asked her to have the note delivered right away.
"Yes, ma'am. Is there anything else I can do for you or Miss Georgiana?"
"I think we are fine for the moment. I'm sorry. What is your name?"
"Grace, miss."
"Thank you, Grace. Please be sure the doctor is brought up to Miss Georgiana right away and I will ring if we need anything else."
"Yes, miss. We all think the world of Mr. and Miss Darcy, ma'am. Anything you can do for them is very much appreciated by the staff."
Having blurted that out, Grace fled the room. Elizabeth smiled. It spoke very highly of Mr. Darcy and his sister that they were beloved by their servants. Her pleasant musings soon gave way to worry about her patient.
Elizabeth continued to battle Georgiana's fever with little thought for anything else. Her relief was considerable when the doctor finally appeared. The poor doctor looked as pale as the patient. Dr. Abercrombie apologized for the delay. As Elizabeth suspected he had been out seeing patients all day and had just received her message.
Elizabeth nodded her understanding as she silently blessed the doctor for coming. Leaving Grace to assist him, Elizabeth went to check on Mr. Darcy while Dr. Abercrombie examined Georgiana.
To her relief Mr. Darcy was still abed as promised. He seemed more alert and somehow stronger than he had been that morning. Elizabeth was also pleased to see that Mr. Darcy's eyes were clear and his color had improved.
"How is Georgiana?" Darcy's anxiety for his sister was understandable.
"The doctor is still examining her, but he will speak to you when he is finished. Grace is also with Georgiana so your sister will not be alone for a moment. I know it is difficult, but you must not upset yourself, sir. We will take very good care of her."
"Is it the fever?"
"I cannot say, Mr. Darcy. The doctor may not be able to determine that so quickly either. She is feverish--which could mean the fever, but it could also be the result of excessive fatigue. Your sister has been quite worried about you."
Seeing his dismay, Elizabeth hastily continued, "Pray do not distress yourself, Mr. Darcy. You are not to blame for this. Georgiana has been concerned for you, as you are now concerned for her. It is no one's fault, sir."
"I hate feeling so helpless, Elizabeth. I should be doing something. Who will look after her? Richard is not suited for the sickroom and we are all she has."
"Pray do not distress yourself so, Mr. Darcy." Thinking only of how much she wanted to comfort him, Elizabeth took Darcy's hand. "The most important thing you can do for Georgiana is to rest and recover. While I know you want to take care of your sister, nursing is not a man's province. I have sent a note to my aunt and will be staying with your sister tonight. So for now, please trust her to my care."
"I am grateful for your kindness, Elizabeth, but we cannot expect so much of you. Georgiana is not your responsibility."
"Mr. Darcy, I am not staying out of obligation, but out of friendship. I want to help your sister and she needs me right now. I know that you and Colonel Fitzwilliam are her guardians, but Georgiana needs the loving care of her mother or her sister. Since she has neither, I will have to do." Elizabeth squeezed his hand and smiled gently as she continued. "Please do not worry, Mr. Darcy. I promise that I will care for your Georgiana as tenderly as if she were my Jane."
She was surprised to see tears in Darcy's eyes. He said not a word, but his silent look was filled with such love and admiration that Elizabeth could scarce return his gaze. Seeking to lighten the mood, she released Darcy's hand and began bustling about, smoothing his covers as she spoke in a teasing tone.
"Speaking of errant guardians, where is Colonel Fitzwilliam? I gave him strict orders to watch over you, for I do not trust you, Mr. Darcy."
"Fitzwilliam was driving me to distraction, Elizabeth, so I promised I would not leave the bed if he would just leave me alone for a while."
"And have you kept your word, Mr. Darcy?"
"Yes, ma'am." Darcy echoed her teasing tone. "I have kept my word, and it has not been easy, knowing that you are just down the hall."
Elizabeth blushed to hear him speak so. "Well, easy or no, it is important that you get your rest, sir. Have you had any dinner?"
"No, I am not hungry. I'm too worried about Georgiana to eat." "I understand you may not feel like eating, Mr. Darcy. But you must, if you're to regain your strength. If you will not do it for yourself, then do it for your poor sister. Let her have one less care. You may also do it for me. I cannot nurse both of you at once. Please, sir, may I have some tea and broth sent up for you?"
Knowing she was right, Darcy sighed and nodded his acquiescence. The cook had evidently been hoping for such a request because the broth was provided right away.
"And what of you, Miss Elizabeth?" Darcy asked. "Are you eating and taking care of yourself?"
"I am, sir. It is one of the primary rules of nursing. Grace brought me a tray for lunch and I plan to have my supper on a tray in Georgiana's room as well."
Darcy was dutifully eating his broth when the doctor entered the room. Seeing the remarkable change in his patient brought a broad smile to the doctor's face.
"Well, now, Darcy, I am delighted to see you so improved and to see you eating again. This is wonderful."
"What of my sister, Doctor Abercrombie? You have already met Miss Bennet, have you not?"
"Certainly, sir. Miss Bennet has made my job considerably easier by keeping your sister's fever under control. I cannot yet say if this is truly another case of fever or just the result of excessive fatigue."
The doctor then proceeded to give his instructions to Elizabeth as if Darcy were not present. "I would recommend, Miss Bennet, that you continue as you've begun. Cold compresses to keep the fever from going too high, and water as you can get her to drink. I will return in the morning to check on Miss Georgiana. We should know by then if it is over exertion or something more."
Elizabeth smiled at him. "Thank you, Doctor. I hope you are able to get some rest tonight. You will be no good to your patients, if you do not care for yourself."
"Thank you for your concern, Miss Bennet. Mrs. Abercrombie could not have said it better. She will probably order me off to bed straightway upon my return home." The doctor smiled and bowed to Elizabeth. "Good evening, Miss Bennet. Please try to sleep tonight, as your patient will allow. Good night, Darcy. I am very pleased that you are better. Listen to Miss Bennet here and you will do well."
Elizabeth gave Darcy a comforting smile. "Now I must see to your sister, sir. Please do take care. I will step over to check on you later. In the meantime, do not hesitate to let others help you. Your staff is most anxious to be of use to you, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth met Colonel Fitzwilliam in the hallway. He smiled sheepishly knowing he was guilty of deserting his post.
"I am sorry, Miss Bennet. I'm not very good in the sick room. Darcy grew tired of my company and sent me packing. He has not done himself any harm, has he?"
"No, Colonel, I think he actually kept his word and stayed in bed."
"How is my little cousin?"
"Georgiana is still feverish, but the doctor is not yet certain how serious it is. He will be back in the morning. For now I must attend her. Please excuse me, Colonel."
"Yes, ma'am," he said with a new respect in his voice. Fitzwilliam had always liked Elizabeth Bennet, but this afternoon had shown him that she was strong as well as charming, a formidable combination.
Elizabeth paused and turned back before opening Georgiana's door. "Colonel, you might keep Mr. Darcy out of trouble by reading to him."
The colonel was stunned and relieved. He had wracked his brain all afternoon for a way to keep Darcy occupied. Why had he not thought of reading? Smiling he said, "Thank you, Miss Bennet. That's a wonderful idea."
Elizabeth could hear him as he opened Darcy's door. "What say I read to you, Cousin? Maybe that will keep you out of trouble for five minutes--"
Elizabeth smiled and then entered to check on Georgiana. Grace was sitting faithfully by the bed but rose when Elizabeth entered.
"How is she?" Elizabeth asked.
"Sleeping, young miss, but her fever may be rising. Would you please check? I have not had a lot of experience with sickness."
"Certainly. Tell me, Grace, have you ever had the fever?" Elizabeth was concerned for this young maid who seemed to hold her employers in such high regard.
"Oh, yes, young miss. Ma says I had the fever something terrible when I was little--some fifteen years ago now. Me and Simms are the only ones on staff who had it. That's why it is always one of us that comes to Mr. Darcy's room."
"Well, in that case, Grace, you may continue to help me care for Miss Georgiana. We would not want you to become ill, too." As she spoke Elizabeth was applying a fresh compress to Georgiana's brow. "Grace, we will soon need more cool water and some fresh flannel. Would you fetch those please and ask cook to prepare a tray for me? I will be staying with Miss Georgiana tonight."
When Elizabeth placed a fresh compress on Georgiana's chest, the sudden coolness woke her with a start. Elizabeth took the girl in her arms and reassured her.
"It is alright, Georgiana. You are ill, but I am here with you. Fitzwilliam is just down the hall. He is much better. He even ate some broth this evening so do not worry. Just rest, dearest. You need to rest so that you will be well."
Georgiana clung to her as she whispered, "Thank you, Elizabeth. I am so glad you came."
"As am I, Georgiana, as am I. Now sip some water for me and try to sleep."
When Grace returned with the fresh supplies and her supper, Elizabeth asked the maid to set out some of Miss Darcy's nightclothes for her. "Since I only came for a morning visit, I did not bring a bag," she quipped.
Grace, however, replied quite seriously, "It was the Lord looking out for these pitiful orphans what sent you today, young miss. They needed you today, they did."
Elizabeth was startled by Grace's description of the Darcys as pitiful orphans, but she realized the servant was right. Wealth and status were of little value compared to the support of a loving family. Elizabeth's reply was equally serious.
"Thank you, Grace. I do hope to be a blessing to them. Mr. Darcy is a fine man and one could not help loving his sister with her gentle sweetness."
An hour later Georgiana's temperature was back down and she was sleeping peacefully. Leaving Grace to watch over her, Elizabeth went to check on Mr. Darcy one more time before donning her borrowed nightclothes.
Colonel Fitzwilliam jumped to his feet when Elizabeth entered the room.
"Here is our ministering angel, Cousin, come to tuck you in, no doubt. Good evening, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth nodded to the colonel and then turned her attention to his cousin. Darcy's face shone with joy at the sight of her. Elizabeth smiled at him, hoping the candlelight would hide her blush.
"I doubt it is necessary to tuck in a grown man like yourself, Mr. Darcy, but I did want to say goodnight. Georgiana is sleeping peacefully and I hope you will both rest well, gentlemen."
Darcy gave his cousin a significant look and the Colonel said, "Would you mind keeping him company for just a minute, Miss Bennet? I want to run down and avail myself of Darcy's port. I will only be a few minutes."
He left without waiting for her reply, and Darcy gestured toward the chair beside the bed.
"Please sit with me for a few minutes, Elizabeth. I do not require constant attendance, but I would welcome your company."
"I am reluctant to leave Georgiana for long, sir, but I will stay a few minutes."
Darcy reached out for her hand, "Elizabeth, I do not know how or why you came here today, but I want to say thank you. It means more than I can say. Seeing you has made a tremendous difference. I now believe I will be well again." He drew her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. "Thank you, Elizabeth."
It took great effort to answer calmly with her heart beating so rapidly, but she finally managed to whisper, "I will always be glad I came today, Mr. Darcy."
Needing distance to regain her self-possession, Elizabeth rose and went to draw the drapes. The activity and the distance from Darcy allowed her to face him again with the appearance of calm.
"I am relieved you are better, sir, but you must rest. You are still slightly feverish and it will take a while to regain your strength. Someday I will tell you the entire story of how my visit came to pass. For now I will simply say that your family is extremely concerned about your welfare. Goodnight, sir."
She paused at the door and looked back. "Please do try to sleep, Mr. Darcy. I will be in Georgiana's room if I am needed."
Once Elizabeth was dressed for bed and saw that she was adequately supplied with water, she sent Grace off to bed. The maid protested at first, but Elizabeth promised to summon her if aid were required. Elizabeth also assured Grace that she would get as much rest as possible herself.
Growing stiff in her chair, Elizabeth decided to crawl into bed with Georgiana around midnight. The bed was large enough and Elizabeth thought being next to Georgiana would ensure her wakefulness at any sudden change in the girl's condition. Elizabeth slept for several uninterrupted hours, before being roused by a growing restlessness in her patient. Reaching over to feel Georgiana's brow, Elizabeth was frightened by how hot she had become.
Elizabeth was instantly wide-awake and leapt into action. She began applying cold compresses to Georgiana's limbs and neck as well as her head and torso. Elizabeth was continually removing hot cloths from her body, dipping them in the cool water and then reapplying them. As she worked, Elizabeth began to pray. This young girl had her whole life ahead of her, and Elizabeth did not even want to consider what the loss of his sister would do to Mr. Darcy.
As Elizabeth was succumbing to despair, the fever broke and Georgiana fell into a restful sleep. Elizabeth crawled back into bed with her and took the girl into her arms. Georgiana nestled against her and that was how Grace found them later. They were sound asleep, snuggled together like sisters. The maid quietly left the room wanting the young ladies to rest as long as possible.
When she stepped back into the hall Grace could hear Mr. Darcy's voice rising in a fit of pique. Anxious that the young misses not be disturbed, Grace went to give him news of his sister. Darcy was arguing with Simms about getting dressed when the maid entered his room. Simms was adamant that it was too soon and Grace immediately took his part.
"Come now, Mr. Darcy. You don't want to be undoing all young miss has done for you and your sister by rushing about too soon."
Darcy found himself being bustled back into bed before he even realized it. Grace continued talking as she plumped his pillows and smoothed his quilt. "Now, sir, why don't you let Mr. Simms give you a nice shave and help you into a clean nightshirt? Then we'll have your breakfast brought up and you'll be ready to receive young miss properly when she awakes."
Eager for news of his sister and Elizabeth, Darcy pounced on this comment, "Have you checked on the ladies? Are they still sleeping then?"
"Aye, sir. I have just come from Miss Georgiana's room and they are both sleeping peacefully right now so you just let them be, sir. From the looks of it young miss was up half the night tending your sister. But Miss Georgiana's color is good this morning and she is in a deep sleep, which is what she needs. Your young miss needs her rest, too. They're as pretty as a picture lying there together, with young miss's dark hair and Miss Georgiana's fair locks side by side on the pillow. No, you just let them be, sir."
Darcy found himself quite distracted by the image Grace's description brought to mind. Her voice soon brought him back to reality.
"No, sir, we cannot have young miss getting sick looking after you two, so you just stay put, sir. I know it's hard, but 'tis for the best. It is. Shall I have cook send up some gruel or would you rather have broth this morning, sir?"
Before he knew what he was about, Darcy had ordered broth for breakfast and was having the shave that his maid suggested.
Thank you Jeconais for allowing Aaran to post my stories, and thanks to Aaran St Vines, my wonderful husband, for all your help and
encouragement.