berni posted a comment on Monday 28th January 2008 9:25pm for Chapter One

I would personally call Elizabeth Jane Austen's best heroine. The way you have made Elizabeth tease Darcy is very similar to her character and her teasing of Mr Darcy near the end of the book. Very well done!

Vera posted a comment on Saturday 1st December 2007 4:55am for Chapter One

Oh, what an utter delight! I love your use of language, Mr. Darcy's urgency, the sparkle in their eyes. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing. Days like these? I LOVE the internets!

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 12:22pm for Chapter One

Ooooh, I LIKE it!

sofia cardoso posted a comment on Tuesday 19th June 2007 7:23am for Chapter One

*blissful sigh* lovely. can hardly wait for the next chapter =D

Jasmine posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2007 2:13pm for Chapter One

Wow! That's all I can say! Your writting, particularly at the end, wow! I hope to see more soon!

Tanydwr posted a comment on Monday 4th June 2007 1:09am for Chapter One

Oh, wonderful!
You have an excellent turn of phrase, generally in-keeping with the regency style. And the accident was well-done - a turned ankle *and* a bumped head! Well, one logically leads into the other, and certainly the inability to walk would lead to Lizzy having to stay in the same spot.
Hmm, how would Lady Catherine react to this? Would she accuse Lizzy of using her 'arts and allurements' or would she actually demand that Darcy do as propriety demands? It would be an interesting conflict of interests. Certainly, she would be unable to accuse Lizzy of 'working on' Mr Darcy within her presence, and the presence of her daughter...
Keep up the excellent work. As I said before, this site is in desperate need of some Jane Austen.
Lol, Tanydwr

Sheyana posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:59pm for Chapter One

ahhh, the old 'something-happens-to-force-them-to-get-married' classic. I can't wait for the inevitable Lady-C explosions!! (the best part of many fics when I'm in the right mood)

I must admit that while I've read this basic storyline a few times (see above for which storyline I mean), I enjoy each new version because for the author to create something of their own, the characters have to take on a different life, and character development generally has to be better.

I look forward to reading your take on this plot, and I hope 'real life' doesn't interfere too much with your writing!

Lady Alchymia posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:46pm for Chapter One

This chapter started particularly strongly. The language was spot on. "Justice now denied her the comfort of blaming Mr. Darcy." was a particularly good line, I thought. The first passage connects very well with the Elizabeth we know from P&P. Her need for privacy, her knowing she will need to remove any evidence of her tears.

I thought the Charlotte passage was well executed. Her intimate understanding of Elizabeth permeates the passage and shows by clear contrast the sheer lack of same from her husband. And it was nicely done how she turned her husbands assertion that Elizabeth was at Rosings into a challenge to go find out, and hopefully cause the other gentlemen to raise a search party.

When Darcy then takes action, my interest was well maintained, wondering where she was and what had happened to her.

I have some thoughts on the second half, but I think I need to ponder them for a little bit.

I'm curious what the next chapter will bring!

Thanks for sharing!

Lady A

Dave McCombs posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 1:06pm for Chapter One

Jane Austen fan fiction? Now I have seen everything. :)

You seem to have a good handle on the narrative, and your description is excellent. Unfortunately, I think you need to work on your plot. Let me tell you why I think that.

As I recall from the novel, Miss Bennet thought Darcy essentially an egotistical jerk. It took that famous letter, an unexpected encounter at his Derbyshire estate, and time for her to change her mind...and there were still a few bumps along the way.

Yet here your plot device is a fall in the woods and an injury -- right from the pages of a Harlequin romance! That kicked me right out of the story, with a "she's got to be kidding, right?" Bit of a cliche, unfortunately.

Please don't let this discourage you from writing further. As I said, you have some strong points, which some people never seem to get a handle on. Just work on your plots, and I think in time you will become a superb writer.

Aaran St Vines replied:

David - Thank you for reading and reviewing.   There's actually a good bit of Jane Austen fan fiction out there, but I think this may be a first for FANFICAUTHORS.NET.   I've actually never read a Harlequin Romance, but I'll take your word for it.   I definitely am a romantic at heart.   Thanks for encouraging me to keep writing.   I plan to and hope to hear from you in the future. - Pamela St V