Sana posted a comment on Saturday 19th July 2008 2:12pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

I personally loved the full history.

Yeah, reading seriously improves vocabulary. Someone I know read a /lot/ during her youth- she had every Nancy drew book she could find red by kindergarten, and there isn't a single word or phrase in this story -in any story- that she wouldn't have understood by fourth grade, at the latest. Argh. Anyways, I was just saying that yeah, what I said earlier- reading significantly increases vocabulary.

James Barber posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd May 2007 4:05am for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Hey where is chapter 16 for The Granger Defense? it says its there, but it isnt! great story by the way!

Infin1x posted a comment on Friday 18th May 2007 12:23pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Really love this story but there are a few things I want to protest just because otherwise this would be a whole review just saying how great this story is. First why is Harry only 5'9"? That seems rather short. Second why was Hermione's mother's name changed between GSP and TGD? Besides those I have to say this is one of the best fics I have read recently for backstory, history, a comprehensive magic system and just overall attention to detail.

Paul Beamer posted a comment on Thursday 3rd May 2007 5:30am for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

As usual, your writing is far superior to the vast majority of fan fiction writers on the web. Thank you for an engaging and entertaining story. I hope to see the next chapter soon :)

Carol Layland posted a comment on Monday 30th April 2007 1:51pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Again you have pleased this retired teacher. Your chapter is well crafted and the addendum is most informative. It well explains many questions that I have had regarding the family history of Harry Potter. Your view of his world is one of the best I have read. Please keep up the wonderful work I enjoy it immensely.

Brad Crawford posted a comment on Monday 30th April 2007 8:36am for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

well i love the background info in the addendum! it really helped make a lot of sense for the the Wizangamut! keep up the awesome writing!

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 11:55pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

You're reference to Willen the Olive Hander was lovely. The pixies proverb was great. Personally I love the history that you include in these stories, so well thought out and explored with such imagination. Great chapter. More please. The pure blood issues are very fun indeed.

Quizer posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 11:01pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

I noticed that there are a few minuscule differences in these two parallel chapters. I regret that you don't outline each and every difference, as it might help dispel the illusion that you only change a select few scenes between the two versions and otherwise take the easy way out. I myself suffered from that assumption until it became really noticeable in this chapter.

Unless it's too much work for you, I'd advocate coloring everything that differs between the parallel chapters, so that people can hunt for the small changes as well. I'd like to compare everything, but even I can't be bothered reading the whole chapter again - most of it IS the same, after all. Even if I did, I'd have to read them side by side to see the differences. The only one was as a result from an earlier difference, but even so I'd like to be able to read them.


Quizer

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 4:18pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Honestly, I think you would have been better served to leave the additional history in. The conversation flowed better in it, without some of the slightly awkward transitions that remained after editing. And you posted it with the chapter anyway. If you hadn't said anything, odds are we wouldn't have noticed, but if you're going to do that, it may as well be in the right place. :-)

Sometimes I think that this/these story/stories suffer from too many strengths. :-)

The Parallels idea, with the StoryTeller, is a great idea. While I believe you even admitted in an A/N once that it originated as a way for you to cater to both HHr and HG exclusive-ship sites simultaneously with essentially the same story, it's still a nifty idea. I'm really excited to see what you do with "In the Eye of the Beholder", as it appears to be the first Parallels story with significant divergence from the others.

The Paladin program is a great idea. DD getting off his wrinkly arse and doing something potentially useful in a well considered, detailed and legal way. I question some portions of it, but it does need to serve narrative purposes (eg, why they're training a bunch of kids instead of crash training adults) and real world solutions are never perfect, anyway.

Spell Mongery is a great idea. Lots of stories have Harry doing magic nobody else can, and inventing new stuff, but very few have a particularly good reason why he, and only he, can do it.

The last is the tremendous depth of history and society you've built for the Magical world. I believe that Dr T is the only other HP fanfic author I've read who's tried to make as much detailed history for the Magical world. And while I like a lot of his works, he tends toward Druids rather a lot. :-)

But sometimes I wish that you had split some of those ideas up into completely different stories so they wouldn't be competing for time and attention.

Obviously, you've worked very hard to fit it all together snugly--and you're doing a great job of it. I do enjoy reading these stories.

But the history, or rather the politics birthed from it, *and* the Paladin program, *and* the Spell Mongery are all apparently going to be very important. (Parallels, aside from "Eye", still seems to be primarily fulfilling it's original purpose. Divergence between "War" and "Defense" is still very low.)

While in the real world, that's probably the way it would work, in a story it gets rather crowded.

Still, what you have here is definitely among the better stories written in HP fanfic. I certainly wouldn't think this hard about a story I didn't like a lot. :-)

Thanks for sharing it with us.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 1:35pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Hi ASV,

Good chappie! Only one tiny thing: Benjy Fenwick and Dorcas Meadowes, not the other way 'round. I do love your trivia/historical backgrounds - so very interesting.

I look forward to more of this great story, especially what will happen with the fabric brouhaha. It'd be kicker if Harry happened to own a controlling interest wouldn't it, hint hint??!!

Viv posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 12:09pm for Chapter Fifteen - The Three-Thirty-Three Families

Loved the Addendum. Thanks for posting it.