thefatadder posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 8:24am

Fantastic chapter, and what an ending!!!

I did enjoy the sceen in gringots. Cant wait to find out what happens to Granger.

oldman posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 8:15am

Another brilliant chapter! You are certainly building a very complete world in your many characters. Not related to Tolstoy are you?

I'm glad the elves are not tied to silly speak. Be interested how Harry changes towards his elves now he has found them out. Will he understand/learn about their powers? I have imagined a phot being taken of Harry and Ginny with Firenze to one side of them, a Goblin on the other and Dobby in the foreground and Hagrid in the back row. A sort of Harry and friends pic with a difference! Thought you might like the idea. Oldman

Amamama posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 7:08am

*big, fat grin* Thank you! I love your stories, and this is wonderful. I wonder if I forgot to review the last chapter? Long chapters like these tend to be read with loads of interruptions, so if I forgot, I'm sorry. It was as good as the earlier, and as good as this. Your epic story is fun to read, all the layers you have are quite entertaining, you surely give Harry a full life!

The Lovegood revelations and reunion was great, and as good an explanation for Luna's behaviour as any I've read. Harry and Justin FF becoming business mates is cool, his add-on for Ron's broom even more so. Seriously, he could make a lot of money with those, he should patent it. This ending has me worried, though - but that was the meaning, wasn't it? A nice, little cliffie to keep up the tension until next chapter comes out. Not that I mind. :-D

Thanks for sharing.
Cheers!

Tero Alanne posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 12:00am

Was that the longest deviation from the Granger defence story? I think it was. And I really like the fact that the two are starting to differ from eachother. Or was this just a one chapter thing because of Ginny's birthday?

The last few chapters have been a bit slow but I don't mind really. Maybe Harry will see some action soon.. A little undercover work with Stephen perhaps? That would be seriously cool but maybe not that suitable for this story (it is a bit serious)..

Oh and this update came as a suprise to me.. wasn't expecting one for a long time! So thank you! I'm really looking forwards to new chapters of this story.. I even did a little jig when I noticed this one, I have to admit :)

Infin1x posted a comment on Friday 18th May 2007 12:23pm

Really love this story but there are a few things I want to protest just because otherwise this would be a whole review just saying how great this story is. First why is Harry only 5'9"? That seems rather short. Second why was Hermione's mother's name changed between GSP and TGD? Besides those I have to say this is one of the best fics I have read recently for backstory, history, a comprehensive magic system and just overall attention to detail.

Paul Beamer posted a comment on Thursday 3rd May 2007 5:30am

As usual, your writing is far superior to the vast majority of fan fiction writers on the web. Thank you for an engaging and entertaining story. I hope to see the next chapter soon :)

Carol Layland posted a comment on Monday 30th April 2007 1:51pm

Again you have pleased this retired teacher. Your chapter is well crafted and the addendum is most informative. It well explains many questions that I have had regarding the family history of Harry Potter. Your view of his world is one of the best I have read. Please keep up the wonderful work I enjoy it immensely.

Brad Crawford posted a comment on Monday 30th April 2007 8:36am

well i love the background info in the addendum! it really helped make a lot of sense for the the Wizangamut! keep up the awesome writing!

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 11:55pm

You're reference to Willen the Olive Hander was lovely. The pixies proverb was great. Personally I love the history that you include in these stories, so well thought out and explored with such imagination. Great chapter. More please. The pure blood issues are very fun indeed.

Quizer posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 11:01pm

I noticed that there are a few minuscule differences in these two parallel chapters. I regret that you don't outline each and every difference, as it might help dispel the illusion that you only change a select few scenes between the two versions and otherwise take the easy way out. I myself suffered from that assumption until it became really noticeable in this chapter.

Unless it's too much work for you, I'd advocate coloring everything that differs between the parallel chapters, so that people can hunt for the small changes as well. I'd like to compare everything, but even I can't be bothered reading the whole chapter again - most of it IS the same, after all. Even if I did, I'd have to read them side by side to see the differences. The only one was as a result from an earlier difference, but even so I'd like to be able to read them.


Quizer

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 4:18pm

Honestly, I think you would have been better served to leave the additional history in. The conversation flowed better in it, without some of the slightly awkward transitions that remained after editing. And you posted it with the chapter anyway. If you hadn't said anything, odds are we wouldn't have noticed, but if you're going to do that, it may as well be in the right place. :-)

Sometimes I think that this/these story/stories suffer from too many strengths. :-)

The Parallels idea, with the StoryTeller, is a great idea. While I believe you even admitted in an A/N once that it originated as a way for you to cater to both HHr and HG exclusive-ship sites simultaneously with essentially the same story, it's still a nifty idea. I'm really excited to see what you do with "In the Eye of the Beholder", as it appears to be the first Parallels story with significant divergence from the others.

The Paladin program is a great idea. DD getting off his wrinkly arse and doing something potentially useful in a well considered, detailed and legal way. I question some portions of it, but it does need to serve narrative purposes (eg, why they're training a bunch of kids instead of crash training adults) and real world solutions are never perfect, anyway.

Spell Mongery is a great idea. Lots of stories have Harry doing magic nobody else can, and inventing new stuff, but very few have a particularly good reason why he, and only he, can do it.

The last is the tremendous depth of history and society you've built for the Magical world. I believe that Dr T is the only other HP fanfic author I've read who's tried to make as much detailed history for the Magical world. And while I like a lot of his works, he tends toward Druids rather a lot. :-)

But sometimes I wish that you had split some of those ideas up into completely different stories so they wouldn't be competing for time and attention.

Obviously, you've worked very hard to fit it all together snugly--and you're doing a great job of it. I do enjoy reading these stories.

But the history, or rather the politics birthed from it, *and* the Paladin program, *and* the Spell Mongery are all apparently going to be very important. (Parallels, aside from "Eye", still seems to be primarily fulfilling it's original purpose. Divergence between "War" and "Defense" is still very low.)

While in the real world, that's probably the way it would work, in a story it gets rather crowded.

Still, what you have here is definitely among the better stories written in HP fanfic. I certainly wouldn't think this hard about a story I didn't like a lot. :-)

Thanks for sharing it with us.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 1:35pm

Hi ASV,

Good chappie! Only one tiny thing: Benjy Fenwick and Dorcas Meadowes, not the other way 'round. I do love your trivia/historical backgrounds - so very interesting.

I look forward to more of this great story, especially what will happen with the fabric brouhaha. It'd be kicker if Harry happened to own a controlling interest wouldn't it, hint hint??!!

Viv posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 12:09pm

Loved the Addendum. Thanks for posting it.

soloven posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 5:58am

First of all Love the story.
As to your questions...
I think the biggest point to remember is that cannon is written entirely from Harry's point of view. Although I don't believe there are multiple teachers per subjects (There is a curse on the DADA positiion and only one new teacher for this subject per year) however that does not preclude more than one group per house, Cannon has never stated an exact schedule for the students They have only gone into Harry's schedule at any length, however from that we know that there is at least 2 classes before Lunch even if one of them is a double, they always have at least 1 free period sometime during the day(sometimes the have whole mornings or afternoons free), My personal conclusion to this is that there are 7 or 8 class periods a day(I perfer think 8 for simplicity),That means that each teacher could theoretically teach 5 classes per year group still giving the teacher 1 free period a day. so your theory of 2 groups for each house is possible if they only do a double Period for each group one out of every four weeks.
as for anyone who says the other students would have been mentioned at some point. I would like to point out the we still know nothing about the other 2 gryph girls that room with Granger, brown, and Patil.

On a side note something has to account for where all the other studets are, does Britan have anoher magic school. I mean come on we don't know much about the world outside hogwarts but we do know that Britian has 13 quidditch teams at the bare minimum of 11 players per team (7 for the actual team 4 reserves 1 for each position) thats 143 players. with a players career lasting about 14 years thats 10 students a year going professional. in other words there has to be significantly more students out there otherwise there would be obsolutly no worries at all about getting a job as the problem would be that there a not enough people to fill the amount of jobs out there.

kb0 posted a comment on Monday 9th April 2007 1:08pm

I just found this story and it is quite interesing. You're really taking your time getting H/G together, but oh well, sometimes the good stuff just takes the time it takes. :-) I guess the question is if H/G will get together before the end of this year, or if it will not be until next year when Ginny goes into the Palidin program. I think/hope it will be this year as H/G work on the new magical theory guide/spells. You're a good writer, you make the story very interesting -- kudos! I like "strong" and "take control" Harry stories. Hmm, I may have to go make myself read TGD; I prefer H/G stories, but a good H/Hr story is nice from time to time. :-)

It will also be interesting to see when Harry "can't take it anymore" and goes after Fudge to send him on is way to a new job; and the same thing with Umbridge.

In reference to you question, I've seen the 1000 number given by JKR, but I've also seen a later interview where she backs down from that and said it should be in the 400-700 range (I believe that was after someone pointed out the math problem, and she also said she was bad at math). Looking at cannon, I'll agree, there seems to be about 6-10 new students per house per year. Let's say 40 firsties to be sorted every year, times 7 years, and we get about 300 in round numbers. Assuming some of the upper classes are a bit bigger that takes you near her lower 400 number. Why are the upper classes bigger? Because now that Voldie has returned, more families are not sending their kids to Hogwarts for safety reasons. If the war were to go on long enough, I would predict the number of students at Hogwarts would drop to be around 100-150. There will always be some diehard parents who will send their children there no matter what. The question arises: How small will the population have to be before the Board of Gov. closes the school because it becomes too expensive to run it?

So no, I do not believe there are multiple dorm rooms for the same year in the same house. If required, the dorm rooms would expand. :-) Either the castle would take care of it, or the house-elves would.

I look forward to more of the story.

hptrump posted a comment on Friday 6th April 2007 2:27pm

Even more important, will Harry ever find love?
is not the question. It should be will Harry allow himself to love the one he knows he loves. He needs a mule to kick him up side the head. If he wants to be like Tom Riddle with not love he is heading there fast.

haylared posted a comment on Thursday 5th April 2007 1:48am

I really enjoy this story (as well as your other stories). I also can't wait to find out what happens (I check for updates daily) but, true arts takes time and thus I will be patient. You mentioned that there are other authors that incorporate Christian themes into there works, where can I find their stories?

Thank-you for sharing your wonderful talent.

Bram posted a comment on Wednesday 4th April 2007 2:03pm

I would really honestly buy books written this well, with your own characters of course. This is incredibly well written, there is a hook at the beginning of each chapter, a cliffhanger at the end, and some thrilling movement in the middle of each chapter as well. Your stories flow well and are a joy to read. Thank you for sharing them with us.

Emily posted a comment on Sunday 1st April 2007 11:46am

I'm going to continue reading, because this is an interesting concept...one I have not seen before, but it seems that there is a lot of extraneous information in these chapters. If everything you write about comes to play later in the story, this is going to be a story of momentus proportions. As it stands now, though, it seems like you're writing a lot of extra details just to fill out your chapters. Normally I read carefully, but I find myself skimming this story.

Other than that, like I said, I enjoy the concept and I'm curious to see where you're taking this. I just wish it were a little more...concise.

Nial posted a comment on Saturday 31st March 2007 11:43am

None of JKR's numbers work. There's no point in trying to reconcile them, because they don't. I think she just picks numbers out of the air on the fly. How students in Hogwarts? Er...a thousand. Ish. How many in each bedroom? Five. Three. Six. How many Slytherins and Gryffindors doing potions together in Harry's year? 71? What?! no, about 15. How many magical people in the UK? Er...ten thousand. Twenty thousand. Er... None of the numbers fit, because really, I think she just isn't interested in stuff like this.

I'm enjoying the story a lot. As for the religious aspect - I'm not a Christian myself, but you'd have to be blind to miss the Christian influence on the canon story, both in the surface imagery and the underlying themes. Not surprising, since JKR is a practicing Christian herself. (And that's far more interesting than her apparent inability to divide 1000 by 14...) So if you want to make that aspect more explicit in your story, why not? I enjoy reading your response to JKR's work.