By Aaran St Vines
Reviews
Anaknisatanas posted a comment on Thursday 29th March 2007 11:43am
Hm... well it could possibly work... but I don't know for sure what the class schedules were like in canon. Is there any time where a class schedule is completely listed for Harry? If so I could probably figure out a way to make it work if I had that information. Unfortunately I don't have any of the early books, only OotP and HPB. Even a partial class schedule from canon would help me figure out a way to make it work for a 1000 students spread over 7 years and all the teachers listed in canon subjects to be the only ones teaching their subject.
Also, for classes that Dumbledore mentioned that had to do with business and government, will you be having OC characters or bringing in some canon character to do some part-time teaching?
jgkitarel posted a comment on Monday 26th March 2007 4:38am
Okay, now that I have calmed down a bit, you have an excellent story here, with believable characterizations, themes, and ideas.
Personally, I find your use of St. Simon's and Harry's interactions with them interesting. Aside from the PC Zaipolits who abhor anything that smacks from religion, you have probably received some fairly interesting (if not always approving) reviews.
Well, on to the details.
Your portrayal of Harry's transformation from the broody, angsty, brat from OoTP to a determined, young man has been masterful.
Even if he is still a bit broody and angsty, but for different, and well founded reasons.
The introduction of Spell Mongering, and it's application was very insightfull. The criticism of Arithimantic Spell Crafters was nice, and I got it immediately. You don't need to use calculus where algebra will suffice.
Harry's interactions with the vampires was nice. A combination of gunboat diplomacy and knowing what they wanted beforehand, and he solved in a couple of hours what the diplomats were unable to do over the course of days and weeks.
Anyway, your story is being very well written.
jgkitarel posted a comment on Monday 26th March 2007 4:11am
You know, I never got what gets some people so worked up about incorporating religion into stories. This is especially true in fanfiction, and I just don't understand it.
If you want to portray a religion, go right ahead, just be accurate. While I will be the first to admit that Christianity does not have a pristine past, someone naming a religion that does, and I can easily prove them a liar after a bit of research.
Anyway, since you are portraying it as more a matter of personal faith. Harry does not ascribe to a particular religion at this point. I would not be surprised if he decides to follow his parents in that regard, but it will be a matter of personal chouce, and faith.
I know how powerful faith is, despite being a bit of a secularist. That doesn't stop me from going to a chaplain when I need spiritual guidance, or believeing in God.
(Climbs off of conjured soapbox)
Anyway, besides the rant about people getting their panties in a bunch about religion being incorporated (I've seen such in other fanfiction), you have a good story here. If people want to get bent out of shape because some of their ideas, ignore them. If they're ruder than the norm, well, that's why God gave us imaginations in the first place.
Sterling posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 12:26pm
I just want to let you know that I like your writing...But I really feel that the two versions of the story are unnecessary. It is the same exact story with just a few paragraphs here and there traded out and even those paragraphs are remarkably similair except for the whole "shipping" business. It almost seems that you are plagarising yourself (Yes, I know this is technically impossible but it feels that way.) The fact that In your stories Harry has romantic feelings for two different girls should make the stories much less convergent. The whole "ripples in a pond" effect and all that.
With that said please note that I am quite enjoying reading the "Granger Defense". I do admire your quality of writing. So I will probably just continue with that one and pretend that "Great Scott..." doesn't exist :-)
Not for any shipping reason though. It just happens to be the one I started reading first.
Please don't take my negative comments as an insult. It is just my own opinion on the matter. Good day and good writing.
skinny_santa posted a comment on Sunday 25th March 2007 6:44am
The only thing that jumps to mind about the teaching situation is that classes are not every day, and that the later years probably only have one or two classes of each subject per year, as in the sixth year potions class.
Good luck.
Glurb posted a comment on Friday 23rd March 2007 6:26am
As for the question :
1. It's often mentioned that two houses attend the same subject at the same time (for instance, Potions is a Gryffindor-Slytherin course). Now I made some calculations :
let's say that each year, 30 students enter each house (That's 120 students in a year, and 840 students in the whole school, close enough to 1000 for what I mean). If every house in every year had separate courses, it would mean that a teacher like MacGonagall would have to work 28 hours a week at least, let's say 56 (two hours a week for one class). If two houses have the same timetable concerning Transfiguration, let's say Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw and Gryffindor-Slytherin, and that in each year, then McGonagall only has to teach 28 hours a week. That's quite a lot, but I know that it is actually the case for teachers in some countries.
2. Concerning other subjects, since they're optional, I think that only one professor is needed.
I don't know if I made myself clear (I'm French, and I happen to be tired right now too), but this message aimed at showing that the situation stated by JKR is possible.
As for the dormitories and the Common Room, I always thought of them as uqite large : don't we say "Gryffindor Tower" and "Slytherin Dungeons"? It implies quite a lot of space.
By the way, I don't know if I already reacted, but that last chapter was unsurprisingly as good as the former ones, even better maybe (I like magical politics).
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Thursday 22nd March 2007 10:44am
I just read all 14 chapters of the story and thought I should give my thoughts.
First of all, I'd like to give high marks to you and your beta's for writing a story that has only a couple of errors in the actual writing.
I also want to commend you on the task you set for writing two parallel stories. I think it will become much more difficult the farther you go and I wish you luck.
Your plot seems very original and I liked the battle around Mrs. Figgs house.
You've got a good & bad thing going with all the detail you put into the history of the story. While it gives us a firm backround into the story it also slows it down, sometimes painfully. You are attempting to do what JKR could not do. The good is that we have a deeper understanding of things the bad is that it makes the story seem out of focus. I doubt you will ever be able to have a healthy mixture and some will criticize no matter which way you go.
The most awkward part of the story was finding out how much Harry had learned while being trapped at home. It seemed to spring up out of no where. And yes I realize that you did mention it, but I don't think it was emphasized enough for the reader to be taken by surprise. The flashbacks help but I still think it felt awkward (for lack of a better term).
The religious viewpoints are a non-issue as long as they have a reason. Without a reason they will be as out of place as the fanfic writers who explain Harry going to the toilet. So if we see it helping Harry calm down, etc. no one has a reason to complain.
Best of luck with your writing!
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Wednesday 21st March 2007 10:23am
Sorry to hear that people are giving you a hard time about the Christian themes. To me, as long as it has a point in the story then I don't care what you are including. If you had just decided to preach, I would have just stopped reading. You think others would have done this if it bothered them.
anonymous5 posted a comment on Tuesday 20th March 2007 1:36pm
re: your special request.... I humbly present that JKR is simply a vastly better writer than she is a mathematical logistician, and leave it at that. :)
Thank you so much for another beautiful story. I would take issue with Harry's "Great day in the morning" exclamation - the only time and place I have ever heard it used in unironic fashion was from a young South Carolinian of exceedingly rural upbringing, which I would place at odds with Harry's suburban British background. It broke the spell, as it were, that you wove so creatively with the entire rest of the chapter. That aside, it was your typically brilliant style & prose. Thanks for posting; I'm really looking forward to the next installment!
Brad Crawford posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 9:24am
an excellent chapter i love the explanation of the wisengamont! and the other details and the dead death morons! keep up the awesome writing!
Wolf550e posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 9:07am
regarding your question on scheduling difficulties in Hogwarts: the simple answer is that JKR suffers from acalculia, as has been demonstrated time and time again. There are roughly 10*4*7=280 students at the school, and only the staff that have been mentioned.
The same answer applies to questions regarding students staying past their 7th year, the ages of the Weasley children, the size of Hogwarts' Quidditch pitch, calendar mismatches and the size of the magical population of Britain.
Tanydwr posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 2:49am
Awesome chapter. I love political!Harry (although I don't think I've ever seen that particular tag).
Personally, I think it depends when JKR's thinking about. It would make sense for there to be fewer students in the older years because of the war - people were less likely to have children with a war on (unless they're a Weasley), not to mention that many parents and pureblood families were killed. We see the Bones, Crouch, Black, Prewett and McKinnon lines all ended during one or other war. (Which leads me to wonder. Molly was a Prewett. They were a pureblood line - what happened to their vote - if they had one? Did it cede to the Weasleys, and then get ceded somewhere else because they couldn't vote? Or do the Weasleys have a bunch of votes that are in stasis since no one else can actually take them over? Did the Umbridge family nick their votes - that being why there were so many of them?)
In any case, with the war and everything - including killing any young Muggle-borns - the years from probably about Percy's year to Ginny's (Ginny being born the August before Harry won) are going to be smaller. It seems likely, however, that the years after Ginny's would be bigger - the students who were safe in Hogwarts during the war grow up and have kids, and there may well have been a baby-boom after Voldemort was defeated (though obviously not as dramatic as those after the World Wars). On the other hand there's textual evidence for at least one other girl in Gryffindor (the Boggart scene in PoA - two unnamed girls, one's Lavender, but we don't know who the other is). It's highly possible that there are at least a few more students in the year that we've scene. Not to mention the fact that some houses may be bigger than others. If Hufflepuff is generally non-exclusive, it's possible that it will have the greatest numbers. Slytherin may well have fewer, due to the modern pureblood prejudices - the Sorting Hat may try to protect those not 'pure' enough from modern discrimination. Ravenclaw and Gryffindor - well, bravery and intelligence are relative terms. It's possible to be part of all the houses, and get placed in one for the need to balance up, or hidden qualities. Harry was easily a candidate for all three (I think the talent comment could easily fit Hufflepuff).
Whew, long talk there!
I also suspect that there are more teachers than it seems. After all, the elective teachers must have free time. Is it possible they teach other classes to the first and second-years - Harry and co. just happened to get the main core teachers? Perhaps they get in specialists for the upper years. Although we do know that some classes are combined - such as the NEWT-classes, not to mention Potions, Flying and Herbology. And you've mentioned the short courses and such - might not the teachers in question teacher the lower years certain classes as well, and it's the luck of the year as to whether you get general teachers or specialists? (E.g. All my science teachers taught all three to the Year 7s and 8s - that's HP first and second-year in Britain - JKR uses the old-fashioned term, likely in use when she was at school - but each science teacher had their own speciality they taught the upper years, e.g. my biology teacher taught 'Balanced Sciences' to the lower years, and Biology to the upper years.) It's possible that something similar occurs in HP, though hard, since the subjects *are* so different to 'Muggle' ones. But it's the same way that General Studies is taught by various other teachers at A-Level - it doesn't have a specific teacher - owing to the General nature. (No pun intended.) Similarly, Business Studies was taught by teachers who also taught ICT. History teachers doubled up as Religious Education teachers - or RE teachers also taught PSE (Personal Social Education). That happened to me my first year. We had RE before lunch and PSE after - quite a phenomenon, according to our teacher. We were lovely before lunch, and terrors afterwards!
And of course, there's always the horrific substitute teacher. Although again, where Snape found the time to sub for Lupin when he was also supposed to be teaching potions... Alan Rickman didn't look well in the film though - maybe he *was* using a time-turner. Or, of course, we could risk chalking it up to the fallibility of the author!
In any case, hopefully I've been vaguely useful. Very long, but when I enjoy something, and you ask me questions, I often end up having lots to say!
Lol, Tanydwr
Cliff Bryner posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 1:53am
Again. I couldn't put it down. Simply marvelous. You make me want to read more history. You are as pedantic as Charles Dickens, but I can't resist yours or his. Thank you so very much.
CootiePatootie posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 1:28am
ASV,
Thanks for the heads up as I had not realized 14 posted along with 13. Woohoo! Two updates at once!
Chapter comments: great job, as usual. Loved the nod to Makers of Fine Wands which is a fantastic story - and is actually when I came to be a constant reader (c) of yours! Harry & the reality of the Wiz was interesting and really, really showed up how prejudiced and stupid some of the older people are. I am very very interested to see what happens with the whole thing.
Mr. Smith's explanation of why "Zacky" hates Harry seems, I don't know, unfinished or something. At the very least, it does not fit with his description of Zack as the ultimate 'Puff. Maybe some more about that in the "private conversation"?
Harry's takedown of the de's was brilliantly done. Quick and to the point. Looking forward to the fallout from that. The auror's reaction to the attack was a bit unclear, that's another thing the "private conversation" can address.
on to more general things: (1) I just wanted to let you know the reason you gave Ginny (I think in the last chapter) for choosing her as his partner in Spell Mongering instead of Hermione is the reason that I think this story works out a bit better than the Granger Defense. In all seriousness, I can't see Hermione overcoming her reliance on all things book/authority based. Every step would be a battle or at least a confrontation. Just my 2 cents.
As for Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts, I am following another story right now that had a great explanation that (almost) accounted for the capacity mentioned by JKR and the seeming incongruence of 6 - 10 people per dorm per year, max. It's called Altered Destinies and is found here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3155057/1/
In this fic, Harry has gone 50 years back in time, and Hogwarts is much more populated. He surmised that more than half the wizarding world was lost between the fight with Hitler/Grindelwald and the first war with Voldemort. That is something to think about, perhaps Harry could find references to several professors of transfig/DADA/charms, etc., similar to what will be happening to him, and approach Prof. Dumbledore about it. Then Dumbledore can explain to him the great cost of (pick one) the drive to defeat Grindelwald or the first reigh of TMR.
Oh well, just food for thought.
Keep up the good work.
Cheers,
CP
Gardengirl posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 12:57am
I enjoyed this long, meaty chapter immensely! I'm glad Harry has found a mentor and ally, and I look forward to his locking horns with Fudge and Umbridge. I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to see him somehow restore the Weasley votes from that horrid old toad :D
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 12:55am
I adored the way you explored the Wizengamot, the way it works, Harry's power and Smith. It was brilliant. The sections about Snape and Draco were also excellent. Wonderful chapter. I can't wait for more. The fight scene was terrific - and a very good way of showing how the wizarding world works.
I think that there's a reason why there are a thousand students but so few in Harry's year - Voldemort. There was a baby boom after World War 2, why not the same for the wizards? Few people would seriously consider the rise of a Dark Lord the best time to have a large number of children. As for teachers, we're told there are professors but they're usually mentioned in passing when it comes to the students they teach. If Harry doesn't take a class, we don't tend to hear about the professor. I always thought that each teacher tended to teach a particular year and that possibly there were extra teachers that we never learned about. Never been sure where they are but I think like the money system, it was something JKR never saw fit to explore fully. Perhaps the elder Ravenclaws help out?
Kerry Clarke posted a comment on Monday 19th March 2007 12:05am
First of all, I'm really enjoying your story. I find all the political stuff very interesting, though I've never read a political Harry story I've enjoyed so far - they usually coincide with an annoyingly-superpowered-for-no-reason Harry, which just isn't something I normally go for. Here, though there is an explanation, and things are well-written. I find the Spell Mongery stuff interesting and original, as well.
About the number of students at Hogwarts, I've always thought about it in this way: Harry's age group would all have had to of been born during war (the year below him and older). There were probably many people who planned on having children but decided to put it off until they could in a safer world - wartime just isn't a good time to have a baby. For that reason I think of those years as being smaller than average at Hogwarts - with Harry's year and the year one older and one younger than his as all bing particularly bad because of Voldemort being at the height of his power.
Even the year under Ginny is probably only a small bit larger, due to the uh... time it takes to have a baby, though I wouldn't be surprised if following years got very large due to a post-war boom, much like what happened after WWII.
I think of Hogwarts as possibly normally having about a thousand students, or that being the capacity of the school. During Harry's stay there, particularly his first few years, significantly less students attended, being the low point of class size in the school. This allows for there being only 6-10 students in each house in Harry's year when by rights there should be over thirty. One problem with thinking is that it doesn't account for Muggleborns, as their parents would not known of any war happening. This throws off the Muggleborn/Halfblood/Pureblood ratios, and would make Muggleborns much more rare compared to Purebloods or Halfbloods than they appear in canon.
Patches posted a comment on Sunday 18th March 2007 11:07pm
This is a great chapter. I really like the way the story flows. I was surprised about the way Harry recovered from his run in with the Vampires. I thought Dumbledore's explanation of how Harry should interact with the other teachers was a little strange but understandable in ways. In other words, Dumbledore expects Harry to be the better man but to also try to learn from dealing with Severus. Not an easy pill to swallow. I liked the interaction with Ginny. Harry is clueless about his own feelings. It is no wonder he is misinterpretting Ginny's true feelings. The scene with the Wizagamot and the aftermath was interesting. We will see how Harry learns to deal with the "government"! Thanks for writing. pms
Tero Alanne posted a comment on Sunday 18th March 2007 9:29pm
Not really a review about the story, which is excellent by the way, but a question:
I noticed that you posted this chapter on phoenixsong.net over a month ago and I was wondering if the "delay" is because of some changes in the chapter or some other reason not worth mentioning? I read some parts of this one and didn't really notice any difference.
I ask this just to know if the chapter apearing on ffa.net is the final version and the one I should read. Although reading it twice wasn't really that horrible :)
Yukatado posted a comment on Saturday 31st March 2007 3:27am