By Aaran St Vines
Reviews
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Wednesday 13th August 2008 11:18pm
Very good start.
gunny
Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 25th July 2008 7:08pm
I'll probably leave another review in a few days on your current chapter, but I've just got to say right now that you've got one hell of a history going throughout this thing. I've read a lot of fan fiction and I don't think I've ever come across a story with a deeper or more well thought out history. I'm extremely impressed, though I have to admit it can be a bit overwhelming at times.
Anyway, I'm hooked at this point so I'll be reading on over the next week or so. Expect another review once I get to the end!
Later,
Rex
Sana posted a comment on Saturday 19th July 2008 7:11pm
Go Wisconsin!
Sorry, couldn't resist this bit of randomness.
Sana posted a comment on Saturday 19th July 2008 2:12pm
I personally loved the full history.
Yeah, reading seriously improves vocabulary. Someone I know read a /lot/ during her youth- she had every Nancy drew book she could find red by kindergarten, and there isn't a single word or phrase in this story -in any story- that she wouldn't have understood by fourth grade, at the latest. Argh. Anyways, I was just saying that yeah, what I said earlier- reading significantly increases vocabulary.
jdcox61 posted a comment on Thursday 17th July 2008 10:19pm
I just want to tell you that this story is amazing. I think it ranks right up there with Bobmin's Sunrise and Sunset, Rorsch's Caer Azkaban, Abraxan's Refiner's Fire or any other amazing story you want to think of. You know those, the ones you read over and over, yet you never grow tired of. I love this story and cannot wait for another update. I always seem to find myself rereading the whole story when you come out with an update. My hat is off to you, good sir. For you truly are, an outstanding writer.
Asad posted a comment on Wednesday 16th July 2008 1:24am
It's been some time since the last update so I started fresh and read all the chapters again.
I admit that I was pretty much bored during the first three fourths of the chapter and had to force myself at times to continue reading. I am just not a history enthusiast and have never been. Furthermore, it was just too long and sort of detracted from the main story line.
The only point in that portion which roused my interest was the issue of Weasley votes being taken from the Weasley's for 10 generations only. I feel that this has a good plot potential and you will most likely be using it at some point. The Weasleys might have been fooled into believing that their rights were taken for all times. It would be a slap on Umbridge's face especially if the votes are taken back in an active Wizengamot session... :D A thing I will eagerly look for in the subsequent updates.
The remaining portion was good. Some nice HHr time and I loved the Portkey/Portus inversion. I would love to read what happens when Harry uses it in front of Fudge or Dawlish.
Thanks for the update and keep up the good work!
freshwater posted a comment on Monday 14th July 2008 2:20pm
As a happy camper in the Dairy State, I LOVED all your references to Wisconsin! **snort** We're called The Badger State to honor a Hufflepuff magical founder?!?! That's FABULOUS! And the state capital, Madison, was named for Mattie and her husband....wonderful! But my favorite hysterical...er, historical...tie-in was when Malfoy and his accomplices dumped all that tea into Boston harbor thinking that they were dumping valuable potion ingredients!
ROTFOLO :-D And now we know that Malfoy Manor originally belonged to the Wealeys....I'm sure we'll learn more about this before the story ends. Well done!
Tanydwr posted a comment on Sunday 13th July 2008 12:05am
The thought you put into these things is incredible.
I love it!
The history was brilliant - I think I've written the Malfoys being responsible for the Weasleys poverty on more than one occasion, although I'm not sure it was in anything I ever posted... Still, brilliant as always.
Keep up the incredible work. I love the political aspects of what you write, among everything else.
Lol, Tanydwr
juliehpfan posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 1:32pm
Hooray! I was so excited to see your new chapter. I had actually just finished re-reading what you had written before and was hoping you hadn't abondoned the story. So far the whole thing has been great. While your Harry is different than JK's, I really like yours. Yours is more mature in most ways due to the Paladin Potions and all and is quite believable as well as likable. Your history interludes are also interesting. I like those parts as much as the "real" story. Cheers and please keep writing!
Julie
Deborahsu posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 9:09am
I was wondering where you'd run off to! And I'm delighted to see an update!!! What a wonderful background piece--well done!
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 1:12am
Wow, a way different version, and enjoyed the way that the two of them went out and relxed together. Going to be fun to see what all Harry and Gin get up to next time, as well as how the differences continue to roll in. Wonderful reading here.
Bronte7723 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 8:46pm
Hi,
I'm just catching up again. I enjoy the story but I have a minor quibble.
I'm a Kiwi. New Zealand's Army is not Royal. We have RNZAF, the Royal NZ Air Force, and the Royal NZ Navy, but the Armny is the the New Zealand Army. If it were royal, then it would be the RNZA not the NZRA, the Royal always goes first.
IN addition they all belong to the NZ Defence Force, one force with three services.
Otherwise, I'm loving the story.
sanghamitra posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 2:42pm
This chapter could as well have been a side story.
Crys posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 3:31am
> "What's Ron's problem, Ginny?"
> "Male Weasley Foot-In-Mouth disease.
That makes as much sense as anything.
Next chapter is what we've all been waiting for? Draco Malfoy is proven to be a DE wannabe, is strung up by his gonads (assuming he actually has any), and fed veritaserum? Voldy is discovered to be a squib and is summarily executed by his DEs, who, in remorse, all take a vow of poverty and silence?
No, wait. That isn't actually what I've been waiting for. But to write it down would invalidate your NSNS status. Sorry.
More seriously, enjoying the story. Looking forward to more.
Patches posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 3:56pm
Wow! This is great. I love the explanation of the Sir Percival Weasley that lost the right to rule for the Weasley's for such a good reason. He was an honorable man who did what was right, not what was easy. It is great to think that the "Burrow" was a small reward for his great show of integrity so long ago. I love where this is going with Harry and Ginny. I don't see how Harry can hold out much longer. He keeps looking for more reasons to include Ginny in whatever he is doing. I deffinitely look forward to the next chapter of this story and the Granger Defense. Thanks so much for such a great update. pms
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 2:45pm
You know, I keep thinking you have the Ginny & Hermione parts backwards, what with flying with Hermione and business with Ginny. :-)
I've left more general comments on the other story.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
KenF posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 1:24pm
This was a happy suprise. You do your best writing when you tell history.
gallandro_83 posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 9:02am
Just as a side note, I think the chapter would have been more interesting if it was an Omake that featured Ron and Cilla Newcastle.
gallandro
gallandro_83 posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 8:50am
I love the story and can't wait for more.
That being said, I was deeply disappointed in this story. First, I didn't see anywhere that it stated Percival Weasley was sent to kill the Founding Four, like you mentioned in the last chapter. On top of that the story while detailed and I'm sure integral to the story was so similar to reading a History text that it made me stop reading a couple of times, just so I could get through it.
But perhaps the largest disappointment from my perspective is that it seemed to not advance the story at all, other than the little blurb about the Weasley Rights (which I am sure will be important) and introducing Mattie Madison, I can't think of anything that happened that moves the plot points of the story along.
It just feels that for the past year you've fluctuated between writing an adventure story and an appendix on the magical history of HP.
I just wish there was a way you could break these segments up so the plot progressed faster or put them all together in an appendix so we can get the background all at once. The flip between the two has been getting so frustraning when I just want to know what happens next and I am being told "this event which happened years ago is only marginally important for what happens next."
gallandro
TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Thursday 14th August 2008 1:36am