By Aaran St Vines
Reviews
Carol Layland-Veach posted a comment on Saturday 17th November 2007 4:05am
Hi Aaran, Please forgive me for taking so long with this review. My own computer gave up the ghost and so I have to use one at my senior center. After i read your latest addition and your two requests for help I went home and started to think. Here is what I came with with.
STUDYBOOKS>a book of spells for students>GRIMOIR>grimwar>then add the type of book>Auror Grimwar or what everelse Harry can Monver the spell so that the purchaser of the book can add his/her special use for the book but the general sales add would run so: "Get your new grimwar book here and get the speciality name for 1 knut at the same time" Thus the need for the spell monger fee is met with a special price and later a magical could buy an additional personalization spell for an extra cost if it was needed. The personalization spell would be a small one and could be general in nature. And Will someone please suggest to Harry that all he has to do is look at a muggle typewriter keyboard to get all the rune substitutes that he needs for tying permanency to any spell. for instance the x used for multiplication, the apmpersand for and etc. Now as to a name for Clarinda's shop. How about FANTAMAGICAL FABRIC FABRICATIONS. Then her lable could read
Fantamagical designs by Clarinda.
Now just another word or two about how pleased I am too read this new chapter and how eagerly I await the next installment. You really do have a wonderful story going here.
jdcox61 posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 1:22pm
In addition, you don't have the part about Harry catching the elves speak in this story. It's in granger defense, but not here. :(
knightsbridge posted a comment on Tuesday 6th November 2007 9:26pm
I'm SO bad at naming things...but for the heck of it, and no I don't expect to see my name anywhere. In the order you listed:Legal-Eyes; WandDering;CauldrenClubbers;ProfitHider;BigBang;
(healers)PainInProgess.
Clarinda? You didn't mention if her clothes were bespoke. CJ's A Step Up
While the names are silly, you chapter, as usual was great, and it was good to see your name pop up again.
I wish you luck on your novel, and let us know the name so we can buy it
Darian
knightsbridge posted a comment on Tuesday 6th November 2007 8:03pm
I'm not sure, but I think you were the first to give the Grangers actual first names...and as I read other author's works I mentally seem to insert those names.
Much as I love bobmins work, I just get round Dan and Emma for the Grangers...way to blatant.
My added congratulations to ff.net (the one site you can count on being there) If any read SIYE, you know of what I speak.
Thanks for another great chapter, covering so much.
Darian
jdcox61 posted a comment on Monday 5th November 2007 9:15pm
Word, good chapter. Aurors could use FileBook to keep case files in a smaller one so they can just keep them all on a shelf. The Wizenwhatsits can use one to keep bills and laws in. I mean, who couldn't use one?
Second, you should call it Clarinda's clothiers or something else like CCC, Clarinda's Contemporary Clothiers. I like that one, I find this story really great in all the areas you're going that the avg fanfic writer doesn't dare venture because they're not bright enough to collect it all together.
You, my good sir, and my hat is off to you, are a genius.
Luna Dreamer posted a comment on Sunday 4th November 2007 3:26pm
An Anzac Digger as a coward? I haven't heard an oxymoron like that in ages!
I congratulate you on your historical research, anyway, and I love your writing style!
chris25 posted a comment on Sunday 4th November 2007 7:17am
Again, Very good work indeed. I especially like the links between magic and quantum mechanics, which run parallel in some ways to some of the ideas coming up in my story - assuming i ever manage to write chapters i can bear to inflict on readers. As i've said before, the traces of christian influence on this story are tasteful and give the message as (in my better moments i believe) it was originally intended, before bigots and tradition-bound morons jumped on the band wagon. The progression of the relationship with Ginny is believable, tasteful and well-written. Its a shame that fanfiction can't be published and sold, this would, or should at least, make a fortune if it could.
chris25 posted a comment on Sunday 4th November 2007 5:25am
I myself am not a christian, and indeed am in some ways prejudiced against christianity in its current form. Despite this, i see no problems with your inclusion of it in this fanfiction, indeed I myself have plans to include angelic beings based upon christian interpretations thereof in one of my own stories. Christianity as presented here is one of the most admirable faiths i have come across. My problems with it are due to the snobbery, cruelty and archaic reliance on traditions that are not only questionable in their inclusion in faith, but actually harmful, that are displayed by numerous proponents of Christianity, and indeed numerous other faiths - acts such as trying to get someone thrown off of a story site for writing about such things is another form of this, and every bit as distasteful. I admire and respect you for your principles, and for your response. Also, the story is awesome.
bookwurm290 posted a comment on Friday 2nd November 2007 3:47pm
I agree that people shouldn't flame about religion in Harry Potter, it's sad how prejudiced against Chrisianity America has become. Would you mind sending me a list of the authors who do write fanfiction that incorporates Christianity into their works? it sounds like a very interesting way of writing fanfiction.
By the way, I love you're story and the way that you've written it. The storyline does seem to move very slowly, but you have so much good stuff put in there I can't really complain. Keep up the good work!
Fishburne posted a comment on Friday 2nd November 2007 2:39pm
WWW - Weasley Wizarding Wiki!!!
How intriguing!
You could even create a Document Naming Service or DNS that links them together to provide a Global research tool - sort of like a wizard wide network of combined storage. Imagine, just opening your new StudyBook and tapping on an index of reference material or perhaps asking for some sort of search and Bam! A list of linked references based on a numerical value of how the search was referenced...
woooo! Scary!
Kal posted a comment on Thursday 1st November 2007 11:48am
Doh!!!!! I forgot to sign the previous review! Since I couldn't edit it... Here is another. Great Job!!!!
Brian posted a comment on Thursday 1st November 2007 4:27am
As a real business, you would want to develop a brand. One way to do that would be to stick with the *Book theme.
So:
NoteBook
RuleBook
GuideBook
etc, etc.
PhoenixAnkaa posted a comment on Wednesday 31st October 2007 2:58pm
Another fabulous chapter in this unique story. It always amazes me the depth of detail you impart in your writing. It makes for a truly fascinating and enjoyable read.
And I was giving a bit of thought to your "help me" questions and had an idea for naming Clarinda's new shop. Since she will be in business with the Twins, and housed adjacent to the Triple W, how about a little play along those lines. Clarinda's Custom Clothier - trendy fashions for all occasions.
Just a thought...
PA
izoomzoom posted a comment on Wednesday 31st October 2007 12:11am
Great story and great chapter. Keep ‘em coming!
The Book:
Siaru talked about how this book is a sort of magical wiki so "The WikiBook" or "The Mage’s WikiBook" for the generic version. Muggleborns would likely get it and the word sound that Wiki represents would probably work in the wizarding world as well. Many others have said to create specific versions for various professions. Part of the value added for those would be to add links to actual references in the subject maybe with purchasing information if Flourish and Blotts would want to buy in. No offence to WWW but stationary would more likely be sold at a book store than a joke shop.
For the shop:
The Crevasse (The Gap)
CCC (Clarinda’s Classic Clothiers)
Jordan’s (like Macy’s, Lord & Talor, Hect’s, Talbots, etc…)
Magical Outfitters (Urban Outfitters)
Clarinda Jordan (Ann Taylor, etc)
Unlimited
Diagon Alley Clothiers (I’d say haberdashery but the implies men’s clothing)
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Tuesday 30th October 2007 2:08pm
The "StudyBook" sounds like a good idea and quite plausible. I can see variations as LedgerBooks, RecordBooks, NoteBooks, etc. for at least some professions (BookBook records for Librarians?). It would be ironically amusing if they became the record-keeping medium of choice for the Spell Crafters.
As for Clarinda Jordan's shop, perhaps something simple, dignified, and classy like "Clarinda's" or "Fashions by Clarinda". You definitely want a name with a certain cachet to it.
Just my $0.02.
CootiePatootie posted a comment on Tuesday 30th October 2007 1:13pm
I have a *bunch* of suggestions:
the whole company should be called MagicalManagers
The Astronomy Archive, WizLaw Index (Whatever) where (Whatever) is replaced by "Hogwarts" or "Ministry" or "Wizengamot" or "Magical Law Enforcement" etc., The Charms Chronicle, The Witches HouseKeeper, Matters of Business, Annals of Arithmancy, The Potions Primer...where each of these can be linked to publications in their field but notes added by the individual owner/user. New publications would require a new or updated journal, of course.
As for Clarinda's store; since we're near the Wheezy's (ha ha) why not Clarinda's Contemporary Clothing, or Clothes by Clarinda? I kind of like something that reaches out to the younger generation, like "Fashion Now! for Witches and Wizards"
Well, great chapter. The StudyBook idea really is a good one. I predict rousing success! :-)
love the not-date. Personally, I thought the picnic was quite romantic and not-datey, too.
Keep up the good work; I love your stuff.
Cassie P
amulder posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 11:59pm
Hmm, another reviewer used the word "keeper". That isn't bad either, maybe use that in combination.
- Molly's Keeper (Again, Ginny's Middle name)
(I know, the theme of hating fame crops up again and again, but from what I've learned, in business you need to learn to sell yourself.)
- the Knowledge Keeper, Memory keeper, NoteKeeper...
best,
...art
amulder posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 11:53pm
Book names...
- the Paper Pensieve
- Taking after "Franklin-Covey" organizers, (the one's behind the "seven habits..." you could name it the Potter-Weasley Journal, if Harry is willing to lend his name to it. Or maybe the "James-Molley" book, using their middle names
-The Nearly Never Ending Notebook
As for the shop, that's tougher
- Clarinda's Classicwear, or Clarinda's Classics
- Jordan's Everywear (a bit of a pun, but maybe...)
Nice chapter, by the by. I like the notebook idea. I like Harry being introduced to a reasonable Slytherin. I like Molly "happening" to stay up late for Harry, and yet NOT being the typical fanon overbearing mom.
There was one rather unfortunately problem... it was too short! ;-)
best,
...art
Ebbie posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 1:29pm
I am really enjoying both versions of your story and can't wait to read more. How about the Magical Gap for Clarinda's store -- it has name recognition for the muggleborn, plus it is sort of bridging the gap between muggle and wizard fashions.
For researchers, you could go with the easy RefBook that would need to have customizable index features so it can be used for a variety of different projects.
How about LawBook or RuleBook for the ministry workers and/or solicitors.
Then there is a generic InfoBook that can be a multi-purpose book for families (common addresses, simple instructions on how to do things -- mom or dad can use this for their children, potions for common ailments, etc.) This multi-purpose book could have a lot of different uses, maybe even call it the _______ Family InfoBook and the purchaser can add their name to the front of the title.
If I have any other ideas, I'll let you know. I like this idea of yours -- I haven't read anything like it in other stories.
Keep writing. I am looking forward to reading more of the story soon!
Ebbie
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Saturday 1st December 2007 9:33am