Sandra Leonie posted a comment on Saturday 18th August 2007 3:45pm for Chapter One

I love Elizabeth and Georgiana spleeing like spoons - a very nice touch.
I notice Darcy (Fitzwilliam) (as The Colonel will always be Richard to me) - call Elizabeth by her christian name, yet she refers to him as Mr Darcy - I suppose that she will only refere to him as Fitzwiliam when they have an understanding - nice chapter.

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Sunday 1st July 2007 8:52am for Chapter One

I'm always skeptical about Jane Austen fics because so many of them make me shudder with their societal inaccuracies, so I was very pleasantly surprised by this one. Congratulations on a wonderful story so far...the only nitpick I might raise would be Darcy calling her Elizabeth when she arrived...he is such a stickler. I know he's head over heels in love with her, but it doesn't feel in-character just yet.

Kinsfire posted a comment on Wednesday 20th June 2007 3:23am for Chapter One

I have never read Jane Austen fanfiction before this, but I'm glad that I chose to check this out. THis is amazing, and it shows that you have a true talent with words.

I think that I would find it quite easy to pay the money for a book if I knew that it had writing of this caliber within.

And that's just from reading chapter 1!

Samantha posted a comment on Thursday 14th June 2007 10:34am for Chapter One

This is a delightful story. I have loved Jane Austin's writing since I was a young girl and it is so wonderful to find another writer who can capture her charm in their writing. I must admit that I also enjoy the moral basis of her writing as well and you've held up to her standards very closely in that sense.

What I enjoyed the most about your writing is the way that you manage to add character and personality to your characters by their actions and words rather than describing each person in a mechanical manner. Many authors find it necessary to tell how their characters are feeling and justify their actions which can become quite tedious to read and robs the reader of the joy of using their imagination to fill in the blanks.

Keep up the good work and I hope to see more in the future.

Liane posted a comment on Thursday 14th June 2007 3:31am for Chapter One

I'll leave one review for both stories, but this one is my favorite for the moment. I'm curious to see how the other one will go, I must say I didn't see them changing their opinions so soon. This one is a bit more predictable, but not in a bad way (honestly, any fiction not ending with Darcy and Lizzie happy together isn't good in my book). I'm happy to find Jane Austen fanfiction here : there aren't enough good stories about her books in my opinion. it's good to see someone write about it with style, and without any of the "let's take the caracters to our time and retell the story" nonsense. Keep up the good work.

Tanydwr posted a comment on Monday 4th June 2007 12:59am for Chapter One

Wonderful! This site has been severely lacking some Jane Austen fanfiction - and it's good Jane Austen fanfiction at that! Hurrah! Okay, that sounded awfully English. Two days out of Wales, and already I'm losing my recently regained Welsh roots! Alas!
This story is very interesting. I love Georgiana and Grace is wonderful! I've always loved how bossy servants can actually be in these things. And Elizabeth, ah, such a good nurse. And Mrs Gardiner was so good for being willing to part with her, but with the addition of Sally, and the fact that the children are likely coming to the end of the fever, it is not quite so bad.
Keep up the awesome work, in worship of the *real* goddess. (Sorry to Aaran, but Jane was there first, JKR's like a lesser goddess. Hmm, perhaps Jane as the sun goddess, while JKR's the healing goddess or harvest goddess or something? And the Brontë sisters must be somewhere in the pantheon too...)
Lol, Tanydwr

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 4:50pm for Chapter One

This is a lovely story. Very well done and it reflects the proper ettiquette of the time. I would place it about 1890. Is that a good guess? Thanks you it is a nice change of pace. pms

Beau Wolff posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 3:47am for Chapter One

My compliments: you have the same delicacy of touch with your characters and settings as does Jane Feather.

Sheyana posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 11:47pm for Chapter One

Ahh, you should have seen my eyes light up as I realised 'Happily Ever After' was a Jane Austen fic. - now I won't always have to search anywhere else for my quick P&P fix.

Great work - you managed to avoid my pet hate, which is glaringly obvios modern language (or even slang) in what is meant to be a regency text.

The story sucked me in, and I look forward to the next chapter. Just a little nit-pick. I'm not entirely certain it would have been 'proper' for Lizzy to be in a sickroom (or any room) alone with Darcy for any length of time.

I was also hit by the surprising coincidence that had the Gardiner's asking for her when she wanted to visit them so much - but as a previous reviewer said, it probably wouldn't be that unlikely.

Anyway, off to read your other story - keep up the good work!

Lady Alchymia posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 7:25pm for Chapter One

You have a lovely sense of period phrasing within your language, Pamela. It can be a hard thing to tap into, so well done!

You might even go a little further with creating a sense of distance in time by avoiding contractions like can’t, won’t, don’t, isn’t etc. I have no idea when such contractions started (and they probably do pre-date Austen), but to a modern ear ‘do not’, ‘cannot’, ‘will not’, ‘is not’ etc help the reader feel they are connecting with a period that is not their own. You also had some lovely antiquated words scattered in the mix. I particularly liked upbraided.

Compound, complex sentences also ring true for Austen, and you had some good examples of sentence complexity. I wouldn't mind seeing a few more.

The tone was a little sombre, though that is appropriate considering the severity of the situation. There were the beginnings of smiles (from me) at different points, which is good. For example, Mrs Bennet’s remarks about Lydia, and the Colonel and Elizabeth discussing his thin pretence for being in Meryton. I think that might be something to develop further, for some of the best bits in P&P are the snide little remarks and witty observations delivered as interrupters.

Nicely done! Thank you for posting!

Lady A

Tarkas posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 6:33pm for Chapter One

Nicely done. A very neat reworking of the original events, and original in my experience in setting the reunion/sickbed in London rather than Derbyshire.

At first sight, the Gardiners' fortuitous summons struck me as a bit of a deus ex machina, but on reflection, it made sense -- perhaps a slight rework of that bit is in order to establish that the Gardiners are also affected by the fever before their request for Lizzy is mentioned? Just a suggestion.

The characters, as in all good Austenfic, are the best part of this story. Everyone from the sly, charming and yet slightly gormless Colonel Fitzwilliam through the distraught Darcys to the somewhat mercurial Grace -- whom I foresee receiving a new job as Lizzy's maid once all is well -- is presented very deftly. As, of course is the immortal Lizzy, whose only drawback is that she is so beloved that it can be hard for an author not to present her as Superwoman -- which, I hasten to add, you have not done here, though it is easy to see why Darcy loves her.

So, all in all, well done, and I look forward to more.

T.Zukumori posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 3:29pm for Chapter One

I remember reading "Pride & Prejudice" as an English language requirement in high school, and though I admit to enjoying the most recent remake a few years ago starring Keira Knightly, I am pleasantly surprised at how thoroughly I was able to indulge in your writing.

I am impressed not only with the concise and efficient manner by which you articulate the characters and craft the imagery of the setting, but also with the fluid ease that you exhibit within the established idiom. Your exposition and dialog successfully convey elegant expression without florid excess.

Again, I enjoyed this chapter and look forward to future installments. My compliments to you, your husband and any other pre-readers involved.

Kind regards,
-T.Zukumori