Back to: Jane Austen by Pamela St Vines » Happily Ever After by Pamela St Vines
Also available as: Epub | pdf | mobi | lit | txt
Happily Ever After by Pamela St Vines
Chapter Six
By Aaran St Vines
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.
CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE
"The Passionate Shepherd to His Love"
Chapter Six
Darcy was at the Gardiners' on Wednesday afternoon waiting with Elizabeth for the coming of her family. Between the last minute preparations for their visit and the arrangements for Friday's wedding breakfast, the house was full of activity. Knowing full well that peace and quiet would disappear with the Bennets' arrival, Mrs. Gardiner considerately allowed Elizabeth and Darcy some time alone in the parlor--with the door open, of course.
They sat on the corner sofa--the one chosen by Darcy the evening he first came to dinner--and neither spoke for a moment. Elizabeth was clearly anxious and Darcy was watching her keenly trying to determine exactly what was causing her to worry so.
When she leaned against his shoulder with a sigh, Darcy prompted her, "That does not sound like a sigh of contentment, my love."
"Oh, I am just being silly, I know, but--"
"But what, Elizabeth?"
"It has been many months since you have seen most of my family, Fitzwilliam. I fear that you may have forgotten just how badly they-- Perhaps you will have regrets when you are confronted with the realities of their misbehavior."
"Elizabeth, how could you entertain such a notion? First and foremost, my heart is yours. It is also firmly established that I have no right to distain anyone for unfortunate family connections--least of all you--after last night's display. Besides, it is my impression that when your sisters'--and even your mother's--behavior errs, it is usually from a lack of thought. Lady Catherine's attempt to injure you last night was intentional, my love. I would consider thoughtless indiscretion to be preferable over willful maliciousness any day."
Darcy paused to kiss her hand before continuing, "No matter what may happen with your family, today or in the future, remember this--I love you, Elizabeth. How could I regret you when you are necessary to me? Everyone who understands me can see that. I remember Fitzwilliam urging me not to give up on you shortly after you came to London. He did so because he could see that I needed you and would never be happy without you."
Rewarded with a small smile, Darcy added, "You are silly to worry about my having regrets, my love. Would you give me up, if your mother preferred a man with fifteen thousand a year?"
Her smile grew, "Of course not, Fitzwilliam, now if he had twenty thousand--"
Darcy stopped her with a kiss. He kissed her softly and then again more passionately. When he drew back, Darcy was both reassured and amused by Elizabeth's response. She remained perfectly still, her eyes closed as if awaiting another kiss. Remembering the open door, Darcy did not dare kiss her again. He brushed his thumb gently across Elizabeth's lips as he whispered her name.
"Oh," was all Elizabeth said as she opened her eyes. She gazed up at him and whispered, "You must promise not to stop so abruptly on Friday, Fitzwilliam. I think I shall enjoy kissing you for a very long time."
Darcy's heart began to race, but he managed to speak normally. "Believe me, Lizzy, there will be no reason to stop then and I will kiss you for as long as you wish." He lifted her hand to his lips and began kissing her fingers one by one.
Elizabeth allowed herself to simply enjoy the warm feelings rising within her for a moment before attempting to lighten the mood. She slowly withdrew her hand and flashed Darcy a teasing smile. "Then I shall most definitely look forward to it, Mr. Darcy."
Having determined she could trust herself no more today, Elizabeth suggested they find her aunt and see if she required any assistance. Mrs. Gardiner, however, assured them all was well in hand.
"--I realize you were waiting to greet Elizabeth's family, Mr. Darcy, but they are somewhat later than I anticipated. Perhaps, you should go now and fetch your sister for dinner. Surely, the Bennets will have arrived by the time you return."
Darcy looked to Elizabeth. Knowing that her family was the subject of considerable anxiety for her, he was concerned lest she think he was slighting them.
"What do you say, dearest?"
Touched by his solicitude for her feelings, Elizabeth smiled.
"Thank you for asking," she said, "but I do think my aunt's suggestion is a good one, sir--just so long as you promise not to linger at home."
"No, indeed, my love."
Elizabeth clung to his arm as she walked him to the door. In the relative privacy of the front hallway, Darcy took her face in his hands as he leaned in to whisper, "Only two more days, my love."
Elizabeth blushed, as his meaning was unmistakable, but she held his gaze and whispered back, "I shall look forward to it, dear sir."
The Bennets arrived shortly after Darcy had returned with Georgiana. They were obviously tired, but no less noisy than usual. Mr. Bennet looked as if his patience was at an end and Mrs. Bennet all but shrieked in Elizabeth's ear as she embraced her.
"Oh, Lizzy, look at you," she gushed, "the first of my girls to become engaged. I was astonished to hear it, but I am so happy for you."
Darcy was offended for Elizabeth at such a greeting, but she seemed to accept her mother's remarks with grace.
"Mama, you remember Mr. Darcy, of course. Please allow me to introduce his sister to you--"
When the introductions were accomplished, Mrs. Gardiner earned Darcy's deepest gratitude by restoring peace to the room. She achieved this miracle by simply showing the Bennets upstairs to refresh themselves and change for dinner. Lydia and Kitty could be heard squabbling as their voices faded into the upper regions of the house. With a smile Georgiana excused herself as well and went in search of the children, allowing Darcy and Elizabeth a moment alone.
"I am sorry for your mother's thoughtlessness, my love."
"Pray do not be offended or unhappy on my account, Fitzwilliam. Mama has simply never learned to restrain her tongue and it is doubtful that she will." Elizabeth smiled up at him as she continued, "Having never known a man such as yourself, it is entirely understandable that she would be surprised by my engagement, for there is not another man in the world whom I would agree to marry."
Darcy could not help but be pleased by such a declaration, and he attempted to forget his irritation with Mrs. Bennet for Elizabeth's sake. After all, he would only make Elizabeth anxious and unhappy by choosing to be offended on her behalf. Seeing her questioning gaze, Darcy smiled and whispered, "As you wish, dearest."
The talk around the dinner table was animated. Mrs. Bennet and the younger girls were full of questions about how Elizabeth and Darcy came to be engaged. Of course, there was rarely an opportunity to actually answer any of these questions, as they talked over one another and kept changing the subject. Elizabeth was slightly embarrassed but Darcy seemed to take it all in stride.
Sensing her discomfort, he discretely took her hand under the table at one point and whispered, "It really does not bother me, Elizabeth. I love you."
Georgiana was slightly overwhelmed, but very entertained by the boisterous Bennet family. She could easily perceive why Elizabeth was so fond of Jane. Jane's gentleness put Georgiana at ease instantly and she found herself wanting to know the eldest Miss Bennet better.
In consideration of the Bennets' fatigue following their journey, Darcy and Georgiana left soon after dinner. Elizabeth walked them to the door where she and Georgiana exchanged a parting embrace. Then Darcy took Elizabeth's hand in farewell. He kissed it tenderly and leaned in close to whisper into her ear, "Remember, I love you, dearest."
Elizabeth stood in the open doorway and watched them go. She then squared her shoulders with a sigh and returned to her family.
Lady Carlisle had invited Elizabeth and the ladies of her family to tea on Thursday. After consulting her aunt, Elizabeth had decided she would not extend the invitation to her younger sisters. Mrs. Gardiner deemed this a very wise course of action and assured Elizabeth that there would be no harm in it--especially as her sisters would never know they were originally included in the invitation. Elizabeth hoped that between Aunt Gardiner, Jane and herself they might have some success in guiding her mother's behavior.
It all went rather well, as Mrs. Bennet was surprisingly well behaved or at least her behavior was far less indecorous than usual. She was somewhat in awe that Elizabeth was to be so closely connected with an earl. Mrs. Bennet's behavior was also tempered by Mr. Bennet's stern warnings that she had best behave with dignity lest she ruin things for Elizabeth. He had enforced those warnings with the threat of no new gowns for a year if his wife forgot herself and embarrassed Elizabeth in front of Lady Carlisle.
Perhaps Lady Carlisle was somewhat deceived as to the degree of Mrs. Bennet's silliness, but being a shrewd judge of character she knew that Mrs. Bennet was, indeed, a silly, selfish woman. Although Elizabeth was properly respectful to her mother, there was no sign of any particular regard between them. This pleased Lady Carlisle for she thought Elizabeth would not be unhappy at the distance between Pemberley and Longbourn. Now having met her mother, Lady Carlisle fully understood the unusual degree of closeness between Elizabeth and her Aunt Gardiner.
Although the mother was something of a disappointment, Darcy's aunt was very pleased with Jane Bennet. Lady Carlisle preferred Elizabeth's liveliness, but Jane was clearly not stupid. She was also very kind and considerate. A man might do far worse in Lady Carlisle's opinion. Being related to the Gardiners and Elizabeth's eldest sister would not be a burden to Darcy and Georgiana. Hopefully, the rest of the Bennets would remain in Hertfordshire.
Thinking back to Catherine's performance in her dining room, Lady Carlisle remembered that Elizabeth would be acquiring some unpleasant relations through this marriage as well, and recalling Elizabeth's composure after Catherine's exhibition stirred Lady Carlisle's pride in her new niece. She would not allow Catherine to sully Darcy and Elizabeth's happiness. Lady Carlisle also promised herself that she would protect them from the other imbeciles of the first rank who would not be able to comprehend a marriage based solely on mutual respect and affection. She would wield every bit of her formidable influence to promote Elizabeth as Darcy's wife and to ensure her acceptance in society.
To that end Lady Carlisle turned to Elizabeth and said, "I realize that my nephew plans to whisk you away to Derbyshire next week, Elizabeth, but I expect you to favor us with a visit later in the summer, my dear. We must have the opportunity to become better acquainted. By the time we return to town, the season will be upon us. Although we will certainly see a great deal of each other then, it will not have the intimacy of a family party in the country."
Elizabeth smiled, "Thank you, Lady Margaret. You are most kind."
"Not at all, my dear. I shall look forward to it."
To Darcy's relief Mrs. Gardiner had declined his offer to host a dinner party the night before the wedding. Although she spoke in terms of Elizabeth's limited time with her family, Darcy felt certain that Mrs. Gardiner's primary aim was to shield them from any unpleasant scenes the night before they were wed. Propriety would have demanded Darcy include his family if he were entertaining the Bennets, and there were too many embarrassing possibilities in that scenario. Darcy had reconciled himself to the reality that Elizabeth's family would soon be his family as well. However, he felt it only wise to limit the interaction between their two families as much as possible. Of course, the Gardiners and Jane were not included in this opinion. He knew that anyone of sense would respect them, and Darcy cared little for people without sense, his Aunt Catherine being a prime example of that ilk.
Mrs. Gardiner had, of course, insisted that Darcy and Georgiana join their family party for dinner, and so they arrived in Gracechurch Street not long after the ladies had returned from his aunt's. Although Darcy appeared his normal self, Elizabeth could tell he was uneasy.
"Come, my love," she whispered. Then speaking in a normal tone, Elizabeth addressed Aunt Gardiner, "Do you mind if I show Mr. Darcy the arrangements for tomorrow, Aunt?"
"Of course not, Lizzy. It will be some time yet before dinner, and the fresh air will do you both good."
Smiling her gratitude Elizabeth took Darcy by the hand and led him through the house and into the garden. Only when they were safely outside did she voice her concern.
"I can tell you are anxious, Fitzwilliam. Please tell me what troubles you."
"If you are not unhappy, then all is well, dearest," he replied, kissing her hand.
"Surely you do not think I would be unhappy today, my love," she reassured him brightly. "After all tomorrow is our wedding day. Have you forgotten?"
"No, I can think of little else," Darcy answered. He smiled sheepishly as he explained, "I do sometimes worry for naught, and this appears to be one of those times. I was concerned that something unpleasant might have transpired during your visit to my aunt's."
"Ah, I see," Elizabeth's eyes sparkled and Darcy knew all was truly well. "Were you referring to the sort of unpleasantness that might arise from your side of the family or mine?"
Darcy actually chuckled as he responded, "Both are very real possibilities, my dear, but since I know that Lady Catherine has returned to Kent, my concern was more for your relations today."
Elizabeth's expression grew grave as she whispered, "Do you have doubts?"
"Never think that," Darcy replied passionately, "as you are my life, Elizabeth. My concern was only for you in this. I know that your mother and younger sisters are sometimes a trial for you."
"You are right, of course, Fitzwilliam," she said with a sigh. "It was a situation fraught with the potential for disaster. Please forgive me for misunderstanding your concern."
"Of course," Darcy whispered as he tightened his arm around her.
Elizabeth buried her face in his shoulder and breathed in the reassurance of his presence. "It is sometimes difficult to grasp that you love me so in spite of--well, I am just thankful that you do. All in all, things went as well as could be expected this afternoon. I did not extend your aunt's invitation to my younger sisters. Please do not give me away."
Darcy smiled down at her as he gently trailed a finger down her cheek. "Of course not, my love. I would say that was a very wise decision on your part."
Elizabeth's happiness was not only restored. The relief of sharing her apprehensions with Darcy and knowing that he understood them actually multiplied her contentment.
"Oh, Fitzwilliam, I am so glad you are here. Thank you for understanding. I was anxious, too, but Mama was actually rather quiet, at least for her. While I am confident your aunt is not deceived in the least regarding my mother's abilities or character, there were no heart-stopping embarrassments. I think Mama was rather in awe."
Gazing up at him with an impish grin Elizabeth added, "Our tea with your aunt will, no doubt, be the talk of Meryton for some weeks to come."
"Your mother may boast of your new relations all she likes, as long as she does not make you unhappy, my love."
"I should warn you, Fitzwilliam, that your aunt will be expecting us to visit them later this summer. She was most insistent that we spend some time with them away from town."
His face alight with pleasure and pride, Darcy explained, "You do not know Lady Margaret well enough, dearest, to understand the significance of such a request. My aunt not only approves of you as my wife, but she is also positioning herself as your champion by this invitation. Lady Margaret rarely entertains in the country so anyone who knows her will interpret this to mean that you have her favor and support. No doubt, she will see to it that the news is widely circulated before the season begins."
Dinner was as calm as a meal with the Bennets could be. Mrs. Bennet was fluttering and chattering. Lydia and Kitty were arguing and Mary was sermonizing. Georgiana was uncertain which conversation took precedence and was thus initially confused by the chaos. It did not displease her, however. Once she realized nothing was expected of her, she enjoyed the happy bustle.
When Darcy and Georgiana left that evening, Mrs. Bennet requested Elizabeth accompany her upstairs.
"Of course, Mama, if you wish it, but I was just going up with Jane. I wanted to spend some time with her before retiring."
"This is important, Lizzy. Tomorrow you wed and I must be certain you are prepared." Seeing the disappointment on Elizabeth's face, Mrs. Bennet added, "Very well then, come along, Jane. You will need to know these things soon enough anyway."
Elizabeth smiled at Jane apologetically as they followed Mrs. Bennet upstairs. She had been trying to engineer her own escape and regretted involving Jane in what would assuredly be a very uncomfortable conversation.
Once they were behind closed doors, Mrs. Bennet began her attempt to educate Elizabeth in anticipation of her wedding night. Having already been well prepared by her aunt, Elizabeth was able to sit there calmly while reciting sonnets in her head. She had no intention of following her mother's advice on how to conduct herself in any situation, much less in her intimate relationship with her husband. Elizabeth's immediate goal was to endure her mother's instruction, but hear none of it, as she did not want to risk the possibility of something horrid her mother said plaguing her in the future. Elizabeth had found the sonnet trick invaluable in the past. It required just enough concentration that she looked as if she were paying attention. Yet, the mental activity prevented most of her mother's words from even registering in her consciousness. As this lecture was particularly long, Elizabeth found her mother's words began to break through the sonnets at one point. In desperation, she cast about for a more absorbing mental occupation and settled upon conjugating Latin verbs. To Elizabeth's vast relief her mother's voice was relegated to a hum in the background once more. Mrs. Bennet noticed the resulting look of concentration on Elizabeth's face, but happily she misinterpreted this to mean that she had her daughter's full interest and attention.
Poor Jane was a truly obedient daughter with no such defenses against their mother's counsel, and Mrs. Bennet's description of what awaited Elizabeth the following evening was as bewildering as it was terrifying. She was just warming to the subject of how to deflect a husband's unwanted attentions when Jane excused herself and bolted from the room. Elizabeth dutifully remained--appearing attentive, yet not minding a word her mother said--until Mrs. Bennet had finally talked herself out. She patted Elizabeth's hand and said with a sigh, " Just do your best, Lizzy."
Elizabeth murmured a quiet thank you and went in search of Jane. She found her hiding in their room, weeping as if her heart were broken. Elizabeth embraced her and waited for Jane's sobs to quiet before she asked, "Oh, Jane, whatever is the matter? Did our mother frighten you or has something else occurred to cause your unhappiness?"
When Jane raised her eyes and Elizabeth saw the terror in them, she knew this was definitely their mother's handiwork. "Oh, Jane, you must not think on Mama's words."
"But, Lizzy, how can you bear it?"
"Truthfully, I did my best not to hear a word she said," Elizabeth confessed, "as I have already had the benefit of Aunt Gardiner's counsel on marriage. Do not fear for me, dearest. Mr. Darcy loves me, Jane. He would not be able to take pleasure in anything that was displeasing to me."
Jane wiped her eyes as she whispered, "You are not afraid then?"
"No," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I will confess that I am a little nervous but in anticipation, not dread. When I think of the pleasure I take in the slightest brush of his hand against mine, I yearn for more, Jane. It was always my desire to marry for love, but I did not really understand what that would mean until I grew to love Mr. Darcy. Oh, Jane, the reality of loving and being loved has far exceeded my expectations."
Friday morning dawned bright and clear. Today is my wedding day was Elizabeth's first clear thought. Jane was already getting dressed.
"Good morning, Lizzy. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, Jane, I did," she responded. Seeing that a shadow of apprehension lingered behind Jane's smile Elizabeth hastened to add, "I have been so excited about today that I would have thought it impossible for me to sleep last night, but I slept very well indeed. In a few hours I shall be Mr. Darcy's wife and next week we will be going into Derbyshire. A month ago that would have sounded strange, unbelievable, in fact, but now it seems so right."
Elizabeth sat up in bed and hugged her knees to her chest as she continued, "Jane, I would wish for you to be equally happy in marriage." She paused and then softly asked, "Do you still think of Mr. Bingley?"
Jane blushed, "Oh, Lizzy, I liked Mr. Bingley very much, but I do not think my feelings were anything like yours for Mr. Darcy. Besides today is your day. We must talk of your future today."
"Oh, Jane, how I shall miss you. You must come and stay with us after we are settled. Please promise me that you will."
"Oh, Lizzy, you will not want me so soon."
"When have I ever not wanted you, dearest Jane? I know it will be different after I am married, but you will always be my dearest sister. Mr. Darcy and his sister both understand that. Have you not noticed how much effort Georgiana has made to become acquainted with you? She is very shy of strangers, but she is determined that my dearest sister will become her sister as well."
Seeing Jane's flush, Elizabeth realized that she must be thinking of Miss Bingley's intimations of the expected marriage of her brother and Darcy's sister. "Oh, Jane, please tell me you are not thinking of Caroline Bingley's schemes to marry Georgiana to her brother. That is all that was--a scheme. To Georgiana, Mr. Bingley is simply her brother's friend and to Mr. Bingley, Georgiana Darcy is simply his friend's sister. Please do not let Miss Bingley's machinations turn you against Georgiana. She is dear to me already and I must have the two of you be friends."
Seeing that her reassurances had put Jane at ease, Elizabeth returned to the topic of her visiting them. "Now promise me that you will come and stay with us once we are settled."
Jane's smile was whole hearted this time, "Yes, Lizzy, when you are ready for me, I will come."
Sally soon interrupted them bringing Elizabeth a cup of tea. Jane kissed her sister's cheek and left to join the family downstairs. Elizabeth settled back against her pillows and allowed Sally to fuss over her. Aunt Gardiner had decreed the night before that Elizabeth was to have a leisurely morning and be pampered. Elizabeth appreciated her aunt's foresight. She knew it was her way of protecting Elizabeth from being upset by her family on this happiest of days. Although it was her last morning as a Bennet, Elizabeth was delighted to forego her sisters' squabbles and her mother's fluttering. She preferred to dwell on the happiness to come. When it was time to go to church Mr. Bennet himself came upstairs to fetch Elizabeth.
"Well, Lizzy, although I am reluctant to part with you, I am very happy for you. From what I have seen of you and Mr. Darcy together, I daresay that you will be a very happy woman."
"Thank you, Papa. He truly is the best man I have ever known."
"It is good you feel that way. Now, Lizzy, I do not mean to embarrass you, but I must ask if you are prepared for this-- I would not want you to have wrong expectations of what is ahead--"
Wishing to forestall another session of marital advice, Elizabeth interrupted him, "Please do not be anxious for me, Papa. I have had the benefit of my aunt's advice and counsel, and I am very happy to be marrying Mr. Darcy."
Mr. Bennet's relief was evident. "Ah, good, your aunt is an excellent woman. Well, Lizzy, shall we go meet your young man? I am certain he is anxiously waiting for you."
Although their family party arrived at the church before the appointed hour, Darcy was, indeed, already anxiously waiting. Colonel Fitzwilliam did not know whether to be amused or frustrated by Darcy's inability to relax. It was as if Darcy feared something terrible would happen at the last minute to deny him the happiness that was nearly within his grasp. Knowing that Darcy's fears were founded in the reality of having lost Elizabeth once made it impossible for Fitzwilliam to tease him. In fact, the colonel himself was vastly relieved that the Bennets were not late. When Darcy espied Elizabeth entering the church, all was well. The simple ceremony was soon concluded and the happy party adjourned to reassemble at the Gardiners' home.
Seeing the results of Mrs. Gardiner's careful arrangements for their wedding breakfast, Elizabeth was very grateful they were not at Longbourn. It was all tastefully done, with none of the vulgar pretentions favored by her mother. Mrs. Bennet, no doubt, thought it all too plain and simple, but Mr. Bennet's constant presence at her side forced his lady to keep those opinions to herself. It was just the sort of relaxed intimate family party the bride and groom had desired. They dined in the back garden and it took very little encouragement for the young Gardiners to re-enact the story of Cousin Lizzy and Prince Darcy. Finally it was time for Elizabeth to wish her family farewell and depart with her husband for their townhouse. Georgiana was going to spend several days with her aunt and uncle to allow the newlyweds their privacy. She would then join them for the trip to Pemberley next week.
Elizabeth felt strange upon entering Darcy's townhouse and realizing it was now her home as well. The servants, however, greeted her with an encouraging mixture of deference and friendliness. Although Elizabeth had not met each of them previously, it was probable they had heard much of their new mistress from Grace and Simms. Elizabeth was grateful to be so warmly received, and her own dear Sally was in the front hallway waiting with the rest of the staff. She had moved Elizabeth's things during the wedding breakfast and had almost finished unpacking them--with Grace's help, of course.
Darcy proceeded to take Elizabeth on a tour of the house, as there were many rooms she had not seen during her visits. He concluded the tour by showing Elizabeth her private rooms which adjoined his. Sally and Grace were chatting amiably in the dressing room as they finished putting Elizabeth's things away, but the maids fell silent when they realized they were no longer alone.
Not wishing to intimidate them, Darcy smiled as he said, "Sally, Grace, would you please excuse us? Mrs. Darcy will ring when she requires you."
Both maids bobbed a curtsey and quickly left. Elizabeth could not decide whether she was more embarrassed or amused. However, her husband was soon commanding her full attention. Darcy set her bonnet aside and then gently touched her cheek. Elizabeth closed her eyes as she relaxed into his caress and then she felt his lips on hers in the gentlest of kisses. She was surprised, however, that Darcy only kissed her once. Did not marriage mean the end of such restrictions?
Elizabeth's puzzlement must have been evident for Darcy smiled at her indulgently when she opened her eyes. "Yes, my love," he said, "We are now man and wife and we may kiss for as long as we like, but first I would like to talk."
Taking her hands Darcy led his bride to the settee in front of the fireplace. "Elizabeth, I love you," he began, "and I want you to be my wife in every way, but I do not wish to rush you or frighten you."
Seeing the question in his eyes, Elizabeth realized that her husband's concerns were similar to her father's. He was worried about what preparation she might have been given for what lay ahead. Realizing Darcy's concern was only for her happiness, Elizabeth cast aside her own embarrassment and hastened on to reassure him.
"You need not worry for me, dearest. My Aunt Gardiner explained the act of marriage to me. I am not afraid of you."
"Thank God it was your aunt," Darcy said in palpable relief. "I must confess, Elizabeth, that I was concerned over what your mother might have said or implied."
Elizabeth could not help but laugh at that. "Oh, she did try, Fitzwilliam, but I have no intention of following my mother's advice on a matter of such importance."
Elizabeth then proceeded to confess her sonnet technique for enduring her mother's instruction without any lasting effects. That drew an appreciative chuckle from her husband, but his expression grew serious again as Elizabeth went on to confide that poor Jane had not had any such defense against their mother's words.
"--It was simply dreadful for her. Dear Jane was so frightened for me, Fitzwilliam. I was finally able to convince her that there was no need to fear for me or to even believe our mother in this instance. I told her that I was determined to completely disregard Mama's counsel and to be guided by my aunt's instead."
Squeezing her hand, Darcy dared to ask, "And what was that, Elizabeth?"
She gave him an unfaltering smile, "Aunt Gardiner's advice was to trust in my husband and in his love for me. I do trust you, Fitzwilliam, and I know that you love me. Is that not enough to start?"
Drawing Elizabeth into his arms, Darcy held her close and breathed into her ear, "Yes, my love, it is more than enough."
Darcy held her for some time and then he began to gently kiss his bride. He kissed Elizabeth's hair, her brow, her eyes and finally her lips. This time he did not stop. As Darcy's gentle kisses became more insistent, Elizabeth's lips instinctively parted and her husband deepened the kiss. He gently caressed her and Elizabeth felt a burning desire for more. It was just like Aunt Gardiner had said it would be, with enough trust and love, the rest came naturally.
Darcy's kisses began to wander down her neck and Elizabeth moaned in response. "My love," he eagerly whispered, "I do not think I can wait until tonight--may--"
Elizabeth halted his request with a passionate kiss and then pulled away to whisper, "Yes, dearest, yes."
Darcy hesitated a moment, anxious that all be perfect for her, "May I help you undress, Elizabeth, or do you want your maid?"
Elizabeth giggled, "I definitely do not want the maid right now. It is only you that I want, Fitzwilliam."
Darcy's smile lit up his whole face and he kissed her again before rising and pulling her up with him. With some instruction and assistance from his bride, Darcy managed to free Elizabeth from most of her clothing. He removed his own outer clothing and then hesitated, not wanting to embarrass her. Although she was a little uneasy, Elizabeth knew that it would pass as soon as Darcy kissed her again. She reached up as if to pull off her chemise, but then faltered.
After chewing her lip for a moment Elizabeth finally managed to whisper. "My aunt also said that as we are one in the eyes of God there is no need for modesty between us."
Exerting himself to speak around the lump in his throat, Darcy managed to respond, "Your aunt is very wise, for I would have nothing between us, Elizabeth, nothing."
Sometime later Elizabeth awoke and smiled, remembering what had precipitated her nap. Darcy was propped up on one elbow at her side, gazing down at her as his other hand gently caressed her bare arm.
"Hello, husband," she whispered.
"I love you, Elizabeth," he whispered back and then Darcy leaned down to kiss her.
They spent the whole afternoon in bed. As the room was beginning to grow dark, Darcy roused his bride who had dozed off once more, "Elizabeth--Lizzy."
She slowly opened her eyes and gazed at him adoringly before teasing, "I had no idea marriage would be so exhausting."
Darcy grinned, "My dear, I have no objection to your napping when I consider the activity that brought on your nap, but it is evening. Now I have a question. Do you want to dress for dinner or shall I have it brought up to our rooms?"
"May we do that?" Elizabeth asked, thinking of what the servants might whisper.
"Yes, Elizabeth, of course. This is our home. These are our servants. It is expected that we will inform them of our wishes. What would you prefer?"
She gave him a mischievous grin, "I think I would prefer that you kiss me again."
"I plan to do that," Darcy replied. "However, I do need food. Do you particularly care to dress for dinner or may I just have it brought up?"
Elizabeth giggled as she answered, "Taking our meal here is fine, if you are certain it will not shock the staff. Perhaps I should find my dressing gown."
"You need not bother. I will have dinner brought to my room so that no one will disturb you."
Elizabeth could not help but admire her husband's form as he rose and walked to the door connecting their rooms. Turning back to address her over his shoulder, Darcy asked, "Would you like a bath after dinner?"
"Oh, yes," she answered with a sigh, "a bath would be heavenly."
Elizabeth felt a contentment far exceeding anything she had ever known. However, she soon found herself missing Darcy even though he had only been gone a few minutes. She was undressed and had no idea where to look for her dressing gown. Impatience soon triumphed over modesty. Elizabeth wrapped the bed sheet around her and went in search of her husband. Knowing that servants might be on the other side of the connecting door, Elizabeth knocked. When there was no answer she stuck her head into the room. It appeared to be empty, but he had to be in there somewhere.
"Fitzwilliam?"
His voice answered immediately from his dressing room. "In here, Elizabeth. Is something the matter?"
Darcy strode out into the room wearing a dressing gown and carrying another.
"No," she answered with a rueful smile. "Nothing is the matter. It is just that I missed you and it seemed as if you were never coming back."
"You cannot know how wonderful that is to hear, especially after all my months of pining for you, Lizzy," he said with a smile. "I did not want to brave your maids so I was looking for another of my dressing gowns for you. I had planned to ring for the servants and have someone bring up dinner. However, seeing you in that sheet gives me other ideas."
"And to think I used to be under the misapprehension that you were unfeeling, Mr. Darcy," she teased.
He reached out and drew her close, "Now, we will have no 'Mr. Darcys' when we are alone, Elizabeth. Do I have to remind you that we are married?"
As Darcy began to unwrap the sheet she was wearing, Elizabeth sighed and wrapped her arms around him. "No reminders are needed, sir, but that does not mean they are not appreciated."
It was some time before Darcy rang for the servant.
They ate in a companionable silence on the settee in Elizabeth's room, each wearing one of Darcy's dressing gowns. The once fine dinner had obviously been kept in the oven for some time, but they were content. When they were finished eating, Darcy rose and reached for Elizabeth's hand.
"Come, my love, your bath should be ready by now." He moved toward the connecting door. Seeing her confusion Darcy stopped to explain, "I requested that the bath be readied in my dressing room so that we would not be disturbed by the preparations."
"Oh--but my maids?" Elizabeth asked.
"There will be no servants in attendance tonight, my love, I will help you."
Elizabeth could not help but smile, "You, sir?"
"Yes, Elizabeth, I think I am capable of all the assistance you require. You may have to prompt me or instruct me, but we will manage."
She stood on tiptoe to kiss him. "You are truly the most considerate husband I have ever had."
Darcy growled at her quip, but Elizabeth could tell he was not seriously affronted. "As long as I am your only husband I shall be content, Elizabeth."
She pulled away from him just long enough to retrieve her brush from the dressing table. "Here, sir, you will be needing this. My hair must be brushed before it is washed."
"That, my dear, will be a pleasure."
Elizabeth had only been teasing him about brushing her hair. She fully intended to do it herself, but Darcy was insistent. It was luxurious to have him do such a small thing for her. When it came to the actual bath, Elizabeth discovered that her husband was definitely an innovative man. His intention was to share the bath with her. Elizabeth, however, was concerned that there would not be enough room.
"Trust me, Elizabeth. I had Simms put in less water than usual so we will both fit."
And he was right, of course.
Even though it was summer, Darcy built a small fire afterwards so that Elizabeth could dry her hair more easily. Clad in Darcy's dressing gowns once more, they lounged before the hearth in her room--sometimes chatting and sometimes silent--while Elizabeth combed through her hair. When she declared it to be sufficiently dry and began to rise, Darcy reached for Elizabeth's hand and drew her back down beside him. He kissed her and as he did so, Darcy untied the sash of the robe she was wearing and slipped his hands inside.
"I need you, Lizzy," he whispered between kisses.
Instantly aroused by the touch of his hands on her bare skin, Elizabeth reached for the sash of Darcy's robe that she might reciprocate. Both dressing gowns were soon completely discarded and it was her husband's pleasure to teach Elizabeth that the delights of the marriage bed did not require a bed at all.
Sometime later Darcy roused himself to say, "Perhaps it is time we went to bed, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth's smile was contagious and its meaning unmistakable as he pulled her to her feet.
"I merely meant it is time to go to sleep," he teased.
Elizabeth stuck her lip out in a pretend pout as she replied, "But that is not what you said, Fitzwilliam. You did not mention sleep at all."
"No, I am afraid I did not, but I am only human, dearest. I must rest sometimes."
Holding fast to his hand, Elizabeth drew Darcy toward the bed. "Well, if you must sleep, Fitzwilliam, the bed will definitely be more comfortable than the floor."
Feeling no self-consciousness Elizabeth climbed into the bed they had laughingly remade--sometime after she had discarded the sheet in favor of her husband's robe. Darcy only hesitated for a moment before sliding in beside her, but it did not go unnoticed.
"Is something wrong, Fitzwilliam?" she asked with a puzzled frown.
"No, dearest, everything is very right," he said taking her in his arms. "It is just that we have never discussed--our sleeping arrangements and I was--uncertain of your wishes. Most married couples of our station do not sleep together."
"Yes, I know," Elizabeth said with a sigh, thinking of her parents. "Is that what you want, Fitzwilliam?"
"Certainly not, " he said emphatically, "but I was unsure of your expectations and-- Well, I was simply afraid of presuming too much, my love." Darcy kissed her and then whispered, "It is my desire that we never have to sleep apart, Lizzy."
She nestled in beside him with a contented sigh. "Good, because I want to be as close to you as possible. There, now you know what my expectations are. I hope that meets with your approval, Fitzwilliam."
"It not only meets with my approval, dearest. It delights me more than I can say."
When Elizabeth awoke the next morning Darcy was still asleep with his arm wrapped around her. It brought to mind waking in a similar pose with her little cousin Emma. Elizabeth had wondered at the time what it would be like to awaken beside the man she loved, and now she knew that is was far more wonderful than she had imagined. Not wanting to disturb her husband, Elizabeth carefully rolled onto her side for a better view of him. Even with the shadow of his beard, Darcy looked younger in his sleep. It also pleased her immensely to observe how very happy and at peace he looked.
When Darcy awoke some time later, he smiled to see her watching him. It was Elizabeth's lovely, expressive eyes that had first commanded his attention. To see those beautiful eyes now gazing at him with such obvious love nearly took his breath away.
"Good morning, husband. Would you like some tea?"
"Tea--" That unexpected offer startled him awake. "But Elizabeth, you are--"
"Do not be alarmed. I did not summon my maid into the room while you were asleep. I dressed and went into your room to ring for tea a little while ago. Mr. Simms did not seemed shocked at all to find your wife in your room. I am sure I just heard it being delivered. Stay here and I will be right back."
With a smile, Elizabeth rose and shrugged back into his dressing gown before returning to Darcy's room to fetch the tea tray. Darcy found himself unable to take his eyes off of her. Marriage to Elizabeth far exceeded his expectations and he had expected a great deal.
As he sipped his tea, Darcy murmured, "So it is not a dream. You are really here and serving me tea."
Elizabeth laughed. "Yes, I am really here and serving you tea, my darling husband, but it is almost too perfect to be real, is it not?"
Realizing that their time 'alone' would be brief, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy stayed in their rooms all day Saturday as well. For a change of scene they moved into Darcy's room at one point. Elizabeth's mood grew more somber as being there raised memories of Darcy's illness and their chance to begin anew.
"I was so afraid for you, Fitzwilliam. You had always seemed strong and invincible, and when I saw you so weakened--" Elizabeth paused to brush away her tears. "I know I did not love you then as I do now, but there was already some tie to you--perhaps it was just understanding that you truly loved me-- The thought that you might die not knowing how much I regretted the horrible way I treated you--"
Darcy enfolded her in his arms and murmured, "There, there, dearest. Do not cry, Lizzy."
When she was more composed he continued, "All is truly well now. I am healthy again, and a much better man than I was in April. Do not torment yourself. You were entirely right to refuse me at Hunsford. I know that what you believed of me at the time was not entirely true, but neither was it wholly false. Even the way I proposed to you--it was horrible. I shudder to remember my conceit. I actually expected you to accept me. I still find it hard to believe that you have forgiven me for interfering with Jane and Bingley."
Darcy watched Elizabeth anxiously as he waited for her response. He had finally dared to broach the one misunderstanding they had not yet discussed.
"I was very angry then," Elizabeth said with a sigh, "but after reading your letter I understood your reasons. You were protecting your friend, as I would have tried to protect Jane. There is also a part of me now that believes Bingley's love could not have been very deep if he would give up so easily."
"What do you mean, Elizabeth?"
"I compare his behavior to yours, Fitzwilliam."
"Mine?"
"Yes, dearest, with yours. I do not refer to that period when you were battling yourself over your feelings for me, but rather afterwards-- Once you had determined that you loved me, you would brook no one's interference. You were willing to face your family's disapproval and censure because you knew your own heart. Even when I did not immediately return your affections here in London, you were not dissuaded. You were committed to pursuing me until my heart was won or all hope was lost. These have been the happiest two days of my life and it has all come so easily--the intimacy, the unreserved communion. That ease is in large part because I know that you love me, Fitzwilliam. I know that I can depend upon your love."
She sighed before continuing, "I believe that Bingley favored Jane and that he liked her, but now that I have experienced love, I do not think he loved her--at least not in the way that Jane deserves to be loved."
"I understand you, my love," Darcy whispered, taking Elizabeth in his arms, "and I thank you for not blaming me. I do not think I could bear it. I cannot pretend to fully understand Bingley. I do know that his feelings for your sister were deeper than any I had observed in him before, but I think you are right. Had Charles truly loved Jane, he could not have given her up so easily. If he does not love your sister enough to fight for her, then perhaps she is better off waiting for someone who does."
When Darcy and Elizabeth discussed their plans for Sunday, she suggested they attend services in the Gardiner's parish. They might see the Gardiners and they would definitely avoid numerous casual acquaintances of Darcy's who would be attending church in the neighborhood. Darcy thought it an excellent idea. Since they would be going out, Darcy and Elizabeth decided to have breakfast downstairs.
Elizabeth was vastly contented sitting at the breakfast table with her husband, pouring him a second cup of tea. Truth be told she did feel a bit like a little girl playing house, but Elizabeth knew it would begin to feel real in time. Although Darcy was not given to displays of emotion, his happiness was unmistakable to those who knew him well. Grace had already assured one and all that the new mistress was kind and good, and observing Darcy's happy state solidified the household's general good will toward the new Mrs. Darcy. It was the commonly held opinion among the staff that the man who spent so much time looking out for everyone else deserved some happiness of his own.
Elizabeth's private fears that the rest of the household might think less of her for spending the first two days of her marriage sequestered with her husband were without foundation. Although such behavior had occasioned a few sly nods and winks among the servants, it had also reinforced the general opinion that the new mistress loved the master rather than his wealth. That was a welcome relief to one and all who had feared the likes of Caroline Bingley becoming mistress of the household. She would have been abandoning her marriage bed almost immediately to assert herself as mistress of the house. Yes, the staff was quite pleased with the master's bride.
The Gardiners were at church and invited the Darcys to come home with them after the service. As the Bennets had returned to Hertfordshire the previous day, order was restored once more in Gracechurch Street, and Elizabeth was glad to have one more visit with her aunt before leaving town. After luncheon their husbands were playing with the children in the back garden while Aunt Gardiner and Elizabeth looked on from the porch.
"You both seem very happy, Lizzy," Aunt Gardiner began, "and I am truly delighted for you."
"Yes, we are very content, and I want to thank you for your wise advice. I know that it helped make things easier for me, for both of us really. I shudder to think what might have been the outcome if I had actually listened to my mother."
Mrs. Gardiner smiled and patted her favorite niece's hand as she said, "I am happy to have been of use, Lizzy. I was confident that you and Mr. Darcy would do well together. You not only love one another, but you are also well suited in terms of character and temperament."
Suddenly realizing the import of Elizabeth's words, Aunt Gardiner could not help her curiosity. "But whatever did you mean by saying if you'd actually listened to your mother? I shudder to consider what advice she may have given you on marriage, but how did you avoid it? I know she insisted on a private interview with you."
"I suppose it is safe to own my tricks now that I am a married woman," Elizabeth said with a mischievous smile.
When Elizabeth explained the sonnet method of attending, yet not attending her mother's lectures, Mrs. Gardiner laughed with great delight.
"Oh, Lizzy, you are definitely too clever by half, but I am glad you did not allow your mother to poison your expectations. Your Mr. Darcy is an excellent man and he deserves your love."
"Yes, he does, Aunt, and he definitely has it."
The gentleman in question happened to glance their way at the moment and realized he was probably being discussed. When he raised one eyebrow quizzically at his wife, she silently mouthed, "I love you," in reply.
At that, Darcy smiled and turned back to the children.
On the carriage ride home the newlyweds decided to forego a formal dinner in favor of eating in their rooms. They would prepare to retire upon their return home and then have a light supper sent upstairs. As they were ascending the stairs Darcy took Elizabeth's hand and asked, "When shall I come to you, my love?"
"You are welcome to enter my room at anytime, Fitzwilliam," she answered. "I plan to use my dressing room as such, so you need not fear an embarrassing moment if you enter my rooms while Sally is assisting me."
"That is very generous of you, Elizabeth, but are you certain?"
"Of course, dearest. I thought we agreed nothing should come between us. If Sally and I are occupied in the dressing room, just alert us that you are waiting without."
Darcy kissed her hand, "I love you, Lizzy. Thank you for trusting me."
There was no answer when Darcy knocked on the door connecting their rooms some time later. Assuming that Elizabeth must still be in her dressing room with the maid, he tentatively opened the door. Darcy felt awkward entering a woman's private rooms without her permission, but then he reminded himself that Elizabeth had given him permission--permission to enter her room at anytime. Even in other marriages of affection, Darcy doubted that many husbands were afforded such liberty. It touched him profoundly to know that Elizabeth truly wanted to share every part of her life with him. Hearing the expected murmur of voices from the dressing room, Darcy knocked gently on that door and his wife's voice immediately answered.
"I will be out in a minute, Mr. Darcy. Please make yourself comfortable."
Darcy smiled and moved to the settee where he settled in to await his wife. He was initially surprised to discern two voices besides Elizabeth's coming from the dressing room, but then realized that Sally and Grace were probably both attending her. That elicited a quiet chuckle of appreciation. Darcy had always prided himself on the good relationships he had with his staff, but Elizabeth had a way of endearing herself to people. Sally had known Elizabeth since she was a child, but Grace was already quite attached to her, too. Darcy could not make out what they were saying but the conversation was obviously animated and punctuated by Elizabeth's happy laughter.
Hearing his wife happily talking and laughing with the servants made Darcy feel at as if his life were whole for the first time in many years. There had been very little laughter in Darcy's life since his mother died, but now the lively, happy woman in the next room was his. Although her earlier refusal had pained him, Darcy now reveled in the knowledge that Elizabeth loved him knowing full well his failings.
With a sigh of contentment, Darcy settled back into the settee. Closing his eyes, he simply allowed himself the pleasure of listening to his wife's voice. He must have dozed off, because the next thing Darcy knew Elizabeth was leaning over him kissing his cheek.
"Wake up, dearest. Our supper will be here soon."
Darcy reached up to pull her onto his lap. "I have missed you," he murmured.
Elizabeth laughed as she said, "I did not realize I had made you wait so long, but I am all yours now, my love."
There was a knock at the door. Elizabeth stood and moved away toward her dressing table before answering, "Come in."
Grace entered the room carrying their supper tray. "Evening, sir. Where shall I put this, Mrs. Darcy?"
"Just leave it on the table there by the door, Grace. Thank you. That will be all until tomorrow morning so have a good evening."
Grace bobbed and smiled, "Thank you, missus. Good night then."
Darcy turned to watch his wife brushing her hair. "For someone who never had her own maid before, you seem to be managing two of them quite nicely."
Elizabeth smiled as she explained, "Yes, Grace did want to be of particular service to me so I have worked it out. Since Sally knows me so well, she will see to my personal needs and since Grace knows the staff and the household so well, she will take care of more general needs. This way there is no uncertainty about my expectations and they can be comfortable with each other instead of feeling like rivals."
Darcy was actually impressed. Elizabeth's solution took into account the strengths and personalities of the two women and meant she would not be forever settling disputes between her maids. "I am impressed, Elizabeth. You will be a formidable mistress of Pemberley."
"Oh, my," she exclaimed in sudden panic as the blood rushed from her face.
Thinking she might be ill, Darcy hastened to her side, "What is wrong, dearest?"
"Mistress of Pemberley?"
"Well, yes," he answered with a smile as he understood the reason for her sudden pallor, "just as you are now mistress of this house, you are now mistress of Pemberley."
"I really had not thought of that. I only thought of being your wife, Fitzwilliam. I do not know that I am up to such a huge responsibility."
He knelt beside her and took her in his arms as he answered, "Do not worry, dearest. Pemberley is a large estate to be sure, but you will have every assistance you desire. And you will be a wonderful mistress of Pemberley, Elizabeth, because you are not only intelligent, but you are also compassionate and genuinely concerned about the welfare of everyone around you. Our responsibility at Pemberley is to care for those people who depend on us. It is something you do instinctively, my love.
"When Georgiana fell ill and I was too weak to help, you took charge. My servants knew that they could trust you. You brought Sally into this household two days ago and have already managed to secure an ally and a partner for her in Grace. You will be a wonderful mistress of Pemberley simply by being yourself, and I might add that the most important responsibility of the mistress of Pemberley is to care for its master. You have already exceeded my expectations in that regard."
Elizabeth's color was returning, "Well, if you put it that way, it does not sound quite so daunting. As long as my first responsibility is to you, Fitzwilliam, then I will be content."
"As will I, Mrs. Darcy, as will I."