Carol Layland posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 3:41am

You are fast becomming my favorite Potter fanfic author. I don't know if I have told you but as a retired English Teacher (high school)variety, it is a pleasure to read your work as it is both concise and well planned as well a very cohesive.

elke posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 1:13am

Very cool first chapter. I'm definately interested in seeing more of Harry/Milicent interaction.

KenF posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 10:10pm

This was completely out of left field. I like the idea, and you've done OK with the first person bit (which is often done poorly).

I got a kick about the "high class" shopping bags thing. Sounds like pure Dursley to me.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 7:32pm

You tease! From the description I was thinking this would be a one-shot. Are you going to be following the Paladin stories or will this be an AU to your AU?? :-)

Good job on the description of the fight and Harry's reactions to it. I confess I'm sort of wondering why he doesn't call Dobby - but of course we are barely into this aren't we??

I look forward to more, and of course more from Great Scott Potter!

Cheers,

Cassie

Aaran St Vines replied:

The whole idea of the Parallel Paldin Universe is to allow me to explore different ships without having to create whole new frameworks. the different girl in Harry's life makes for variation swings with most but not all major events in common. -------REGARDING DOBBY-------I'm working off of the canon event that Dobby was traveling with Lucius Malfoy at the end of Chamber of Secret. I consider wards not an issue since they certainly don't stop Dobby. My idea is that a master can't 'call' his house-elf outside of his house/property. if you've read my other Paladin stories you may remember Harry drew a square in the air outside of the Wizengamot and called Winky that way. Those there were surprised his house-elf came, and one asked if Winky was in the Ministry building. That's my take on it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Jeff posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 5:20pm

Well even if it's not an AU of your AU it makes for interesting reading can't wait to see where you lead this.

anonymous5 posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 2:48pm

The weight machine is standard Muggle issue apparently. Either that or it's very sneaky, lulling me into a false sense of safety.

This may very well be the funniest bit of fanfiction I've yet read this year. :D

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I took particular delight in writing about the possibly sneaky weight machine. I'm glad you liked it. Cheers!

Hagrid posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 12:18pm

A great new perspective on one of me favorite stories. The Granger Defense is not only my favorite that you have written, but also my favorite that I have read. Sorry, just can't go the Ginny version. I'm still tryin ter work out the timin' between this one and the other, but I'm not worried, I am with you.

PamelaC posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 11:56am

I like it a lot. The first person is done very well. The Mondays as a leitmotif and humor note is very effective.
Cheers

nancy in chicago posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 11:00am

I'm glad you didn't go into all the 'therapy' etc... as I've already read the Granger Defence and that would be too much!

So, is this a fanfic on a fanfic?

It looks interesting, please continue!

nancy

Lee Steele posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 10:21am

Very good story, I love your Harry. lee

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 9:46am

Oh, my! That's a different variation on the events of your other stories. I rather like this one; by the time they make Hogwarts, things should really be stirred up, esp. if there's a new minder and Harry's reported missing.

amulder posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 9:07am

Very action packed. Good bit of energy there.

I have to say, it took me a while -- after reading it -- to realize that you intended this to be A/U to the main Paladin storyline. At first I thought you were just filling in some background, then I wondered if you were ret-conning the storyline a bit to explain in more detail why Millicent joined the program.

Now I get it. Duh.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 6:37am

Wow, this is something else indeed, and I'm really going to be inteested in the direction you take this, with Harry and Millicent, one of the less utilized characters in the HP-verse, just to see how you have things go between them now, and what it might mean for all concerned later on.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 6:24am

"She wound and she wouldn't..."
I assume wound should be would.

Very interesting start. The first person narrative is well done and it's an interesting idea.

I'm guessing that Harry's little telepathy spell lasts rather longer than he expects. :-)

Thanks for sharing this with us.

JBern posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 6:05am

Wow, I get to be the first review. It looked mostly similar to the one you sent me. The one part that stood out to me is Harry telling his Aunt to drive back and get help.

Harry should know that most combat is over in minutes if not seconds.

Glad you used one of my suggestions for the title.

As for the rest of the story, it looks like a winner.~Jim

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for the rerview! The explanations bringing the reader into the Paladin Universe have been thinned out a good bit. Everything has been netted out for that matter. I've also added when they eye-speak a confused mixing of what each is thinking, along with what they want to say with their eyes. And I created the phrase 'eye-speak.'

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 13th April 2007 6:04am

an excellent addition to the Paladin universe - I am looking forward to seeing more of this storyline. Are you planning on writing all the different lines concurrently, or is there a chance that they will be finished sequentially?

thanks for sharing

there were a few typos, would you like a .doc file emailed back to you with the fixes?

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for the review. Yes, please, to the fixes. One of the other authors here cajoled me to go ahead and post this now - in a friendly manner. Thanks in advance.