Patches posted a comment on Thursday 14th June 2007 7:21pm

This is excellent. I think it is great for Harry to make friends with someone that he once thought was an enemy. I am so glad he is taking good care of "Centi". What an education he is receiving. Thank goodness for Hermione. She is a wonder that is for sure. Harry is really unusual too for asking her for help. It sure has been a rough trip for Harry and Centi. I hope they manage to get to Hogwarts before the Deatheaters catch them. Are they going to circle Hogwarts and come in from the other side? I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. I have read some of your wife's story and it is really good. I appreciate both of you very much. pms

Highbrass posted a comment on Thursday 14th June 2007 5:44am

Well things are certainly heating up. I'm going to hazard a guess that the last 50 miles will be some of the most difficult. Can't wait for the next bit.

jimnjoye posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 5:00pm

Great chapter. With all the magic Harry is doing, why isn't he getting any owls from the Ministry? It's interesting to get the Slytherin point of view for Harry's adventures.

Aaran St Vines replied:

My theory is that underage magical detectors are pointed at family dwellings of younger witches and wizards and places they congregate within view of Muggles - their schools, shops near their homes, etc.Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:17pm

This is getting quite interesting, indeed, as former enemies work together of necessity to survive and find they actually like each other once the superficialities are bypassed. I suspect Tom and Deeters are going to regret the day they attacked the Bulstrodes; for that matter, I suspect Fudge and company won't end up likling it much, either.

Some very nice development and action in this chapter. I'm looking forward to more.

brad posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 1:02pm

Riveting action sequences - you do that so well! - an exciting and engrossing read. I felt the tension mount in me as I longed for Harry and 'Centi' to reach safety and get all magically healed. But you've left us with him to run a final gauntlet of bad guys, arrrgh!!

I'm glad you covered so meticulously all of Harry's other travel options. Did he know about the ability of a patronus to carry messages back then? Anyway, it's as well you covered all the bases, so nitpickers couldn't bail you up about them. I liked how apparation in your universe is so difficult - to side-along someone else - and that's consistent with his exodus from Arabella's, needing Dobby's help, et cetera.

I have NO IDEA why you had to add in Centi's menstruation cycle. It was done well, but what value did it add in the first place? She's banged up enough, and you've used all her various injuries to fine avail in building the tension and putting the pressure on Harry; adding 'cramps' and bloody tampons didn't achieve any additional benefit, to my mind. A bit of unpleasantness added for no real reason?

(I thought their eye contact and swapping stories and names was much more effective in building intimacy (nicely done, and believable - it didn't cross over into saccharine territory) - than Harry's having to strip off her panties and help her with her period, if that's the reason)

Damn, so Dawlish still survives in this universe too. I can't believe he's still alive and an auror in your original paladin world too.

I hadn't realised that PANSY had also joined the programme, I must have missed that in the other story. I'm still curious as to whether Draco will fit in at all, as I've commented before.

Good chapter, but I'm hoping very much we'll see these two reach safety in the next one!!

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Brad. I went with the feminine issues to give the two a very intimate barrier they had to cross to create a closeness regarding physical matters needed in the future. It had to be platonic and not just sharing battle together. To be exact on one issue - Harry helped Millicent with her pants, not her panties - yes, that's an Americanism now that I think about it. Women's breeches are cut tight usually and have to be coaxed over their hips. That's what I'm thinking about.

hedwig_edwiges posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 9:29am

How come the DEs and the Ministry can find Harry and Millicent but not the Order? By now, Dumbledore should have be able to find and help them, shouldn't he?

dave gerecke posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 8:50am

I like it.
Please keep going
dave

warpwizard posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 6:56am

Great chapter. Lots of detail, but it wasn't a slog. Nice job. I'm feeling Harry's exhaustion and Centi's pain. Hopefully they can catch a break by the end of next chapter.

Krenn posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 3:41am

Just wondering - who is the third Slytherin adult that Harry is friends with? Ollivander and Moody are mentioned in ch. 5 of the other Paladin stories, but just those two.

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for reading and reviewing more of my stories. It is my plan to have Tonks be a Slytherin. I think she showed up at Hogwarts already misused for her abilities like she is in many stories - not sexually misused, just treated like a play toy instead of a friend. She was already set to show the world by the time she was eleven, as I see it. The need to prove one's self is a Sorting Hat favorite reason to make a snake. I have a lot of respect for what Slytherin should be. Even more respect for Hufflepuffs. Cheers!

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 3:36am

Two-wand casting? Hmm. You're doing it differently than I am, but that's fine. Nice change to make two simultaneous but at reduced power.

> I later found out that he was Disillusioned, but I could somehow see him anyway.
Okay, it's just mean to be droping info on us like THAT!

Overall, nice chapter. Spotted various spelling/grammar problems, but nothing huge.

Aaran St Vines replied:

Two wand casting takes place in my other Paladin stories, but differently, and at a different time. Casting weakly only occurred at first in this tale. In actual battle, by the end he was casting with both as strongly as with one, he just didn't realize it. Remember, he just willed his eyes to do what he wanted in order to eye-speak. Who knonws what else he'll be able to do because of that wreckless bit of Mongering. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Decumo9 posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:54am

not a bad chapter. I like the unusual pairing. I am waiting to see how the rest of the 'light' side takes to centi.

Dave Harris posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:40am

Not sure what you mean when you say that Millicent's home is in the "West Counties". From the directions to Birmingham, I'm assuming you mean "Home Counties".

Otherwise, most intriguing again. Looks like Harry's got trouble if he's got to get through all the Death Eaters to get to Hogwarts... unless he's already disposed of most of them already, that is?!

Aaran St Vines replied:

From Little Whinging, roughly due west, I found Somerset. This counties south of Wales and still in England I thought were called the West Counties. Millicent's home is about 120 miles south and east of Birmingham. That's where my geography comes from.

Christopher Patton posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:11am

Both of these parts have very well done. It's great to see someone explore something different. I'll be looking forward to more of this story.

Todd Rodgers posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:10am

As always, an excellent story. This is shaping up to be a really interesting read, though it seems to poke a couple of holes into being pre-history, since it implied that Harry hadn't spoken to Millicent when he heard about her parent's deaths. Maybe he had to convince Dumbledore to keep secret from Snape that he brought Millicent to Hogwarts, but that's all I can come up with for continuity.

I think you deal with Harry dealing with Millicent's physical needs quite well, at least in terms of "your" Harry and the way he would have had to be educated -- by Hermione. I really don't know why McGonagall hasn't had to give him the talk yet.

At any rate, I really enjoyed the writing, and I look forward to the next chapter of this as well as the next chapters of This Is War/Granger Defense

Aaran St Vines replied:

I added a note after your review to explain this. These first few chapters take place less than two weeks after fifth year ends. It's before Aberration Day and Harry and Millicent's chat in the other two Paladin stories. This tale will deviate substantially from those two. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

haphazard1 posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 2:07am

It was great to see the notification of a new chapter for this story. I'm really enjoying this version of the Paladin universe.

The tension and struggle in this chapter as Harry evades (or fights off) the searchers and keeps them moving, was very nicely done. And the interaction between Harry and Centi as they endure their ordeal is great. As another reviewer said, it's not the overfast instant relationship but something more real, as the two learn about each other.

Great work, and I hope we see more from the Paladin universe sometime soon. You've left Harry and Centi in a pretty tough spot, after all. :-)

Quizer posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 12:44am

A great chapter. You're really turning this ride to Hogwarts into riveting struggle. You could have made it easier, but this does make it more exciting, and in the end, more worthwhile. I hope they catch a break soon and make it to Hogwarts safely.

I like the interaction between Harry and Millicent. She is often quite blunt and regularly falls back into her unfriendly persona, but I guess the fact that they are communicating with thoughts has something to do with that. Still, a bond like theirs, forged in the fires of adversity, can grow quite strong. I'm looking forward to see how things develop when the crisis is over.


Until the next chapter!


Quizer

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 12:40am

Good to see this being continued but did you have to leave us on quite such a cliffhanger?

Interesting nickname for Millicent. I still really like eye-speaking as a means of communication. Loved the action scenes with the Death Eaters and also Dawlish - nicely done. I think poor Harry is going to need more than Lucozade and ibuprofen to get him through this. Centi continues to be interesting. More please.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 12:30am

A great chapter. The interaction between Harry and Centi is coming along great, not any rush into 'you saved me, one kiss, and marriage...baby carriage', but a slow developing relationship between two people who really didn't know each other before now. Nice to see Harry learning what he needs to do to help out, as well as what happens with theothers following him, and you left it enough that things will be tight in the next chapter, though if they make it to Hogwarts more undamaged, then I will be looking forward to what this will mean for Harry and his new ally/friend from that point on, and what the changes will bring to Millicent as well.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Wednesday 13th June 2007 12:27am

Very exciting! Great chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

jb238 posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2007 7:48am

I like this Millicent, she has more depth than simple being the trollish pug-faced Slytherin. The story promises to be very interesting and I'm looking forward to it.