Anaknisatanas posted a comment on Tuesday 29th May 2007 11:15am

Now this one is vastly different from the other two. I enjoyed the interaction between Millicent and Harry. Millicent certainly is tough!

elizabeth d posted a comment on Sunday 27th May 2007 8:08am

While I love all of your stories, this is your very best in terms of the writing. It's gripping and well paced.

morriganscrow posted a comment on Saturday 12th May 2007 2:40pm

Very interesting!
Millie is a fascinating peripheral character crying out for expansion, so I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with her - so to speak.

Ivy_Snowe posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 1:44pm

Oh, and we have a winner. I like this one. It's similar in many ways to the other two fics, as you already mentioned. And that battle with the Death Eaters was nicely done. I think I like having Millicent be Harry's love interest in this one. It's definitely a break from the norm. Cheers.

~Ivy

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 10:22am

Why Harry *didn't* Apparate out: has Harry ever abandoned someone in need, at any time? So *despite* the intended victim not only being a Slytherin, but a former member of the Inquisitorial Squad, Harry Potter would simply not be Harry Potter without going all Gryffindor and charging to the rescue; the fact that the rescued was Millicent Bulstrode is completely irrelevant. (I suggest reading "Power of Darkness" on fanfiction.net; this Harry/Bellatrix post-OOTP story kicks right off with Harry running into DEs vs. Bellatrix.)

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Wednesday 25th April 2007 4:22am

Interesting scenario and very enjoyable read, in spite of all the pain involved. I like that you gave her such lovely eyes.

a_wanderer posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 5:11am

I like the self commentary of this Harry.
Keep writing.
Norman

anettemargarete posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 12:18am

thats just a great piece of work! thank you for writing it.

anette

brad posted a comment on Monday 16th April 2007 1:36pm

What a ripper of a chapter!! Technically, this seemed to be written a cut above some of your other work in literary quality - no spelling mistakes or bad/clumsy grammar, etc. 'Balance' wise there's no (boring) monologues, just a heap of action and also narrative/exposition which reads naturally and in an entertaining fashion (using 'Mondays' as a connecting joke, etc). This was a good read!

I assume, if Harry's only a week into the Paladin programme, that Aberration day hasn't yet happened? And yet he's still more powerful than most grown wizards?! Not that I'm complaining, I like it when Harry the hero is (believably) powerful.

(I'm worried about what the consequences will be if he misses his next two scheduled meals, etc. Oh! Just had a thought; what if he's with Millicent the next time he has one of the 'meeting the opposite sex' urges? I'd rather any emotions between them be generated naturally, myself)

I'm usually a bit sensitive to exposition which drags, but the first half of the story really worked very well. Because it was in first-person? The occasional bits of humour? However it was done, it was done well, the initial few pages and then Harry's observations during the battle itself.

Great fight sequence, and I'm glad Millicent has an idea of the suffering that her white knight is undergoing in her rescue.

One of the things I haven't liked too much in Great Scott! was the whole 'spell mongering' thing, which seemed to be the basis of some of those drawn-out monologues, and has super!Harry suddenly instructing the head of the Wizengamot and most powerful wizard in the world on the nature of magic, etc. I was initially relieved when it wasn't mentioned here, but then Harry mongered the 'telepathy' spell. Oh well, I hope you might keep the mongering a bit restrained in this story.

Why of why didn't Harry try and apparate out? He'd told the reader that he'd managed an apparation back when the Grangers were attacked, after all. And in Great Scott's Aberration Day he manages to apparate with Dobby and Arabella, yes? Although he doesn't know that yet in this story, so if it was to keep Harry less super-duper I'm all in favour. He should have still considered it as an option, though, even if he then felt it prudent to discount it?

Good read, thanks!

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Monday 16th April 2007 8:28am

To the earlier reviewer that wonders if this indeed takes place post-Aberration Day; yes, it does. (Several events that took place on Aberration Day are mentioned in this chapter as backstory, such as Harry's Apparition to the Grangers.) However, since this is a Harry/Millicent story, Mrs. Figg's conversation with Ginny (or Hermione's conversations with Ron and Ginny) will largely not happen or happen in a different context. Also, unlike in either "Great Scott" or "The Granger Defense", in this story, it's Harry himself that arrives at the Bulstrodes in time to save Millicent (while Millicent is still saved in "Great Scott" and "Granger Defense", it's not by Harry).

Here are the known commonalities in all three stories:

1. The events of Aberration Day still happen.

2. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Millicent Bulstrode *all* join the Paladin Program (along with both Patil ladies, Lavender Brown, and Neville Longbottom).

3. Millicent Bulstrode doesn't join the Program until *after* the Battle of Bulstrode Manor (and the death of her older brother defending it and her family).

4. The Dursleys still get blackmailed into letting Harry into the Paladin Program.

Sean Dillon posted a comment on Monday 16th April 2007 12:08am

I don't know how house-elfs (house elves) work in your Paladin universe. I was somewhat confused by the facts that Dobby is bonded to Harry and the Bulstrode farm was not under a fidelius yet Harry made no attempt to contact Dobby to have him get Lupin or Dumbledore or Tonks or etc...

Aaran St Vines replied:

I'm working off of the canon event that Dobby was traveling with Lucius Malfoy at the end of Chamber of Secret. I consider wards not an issue since they certainly don't stop Dobby. My idea is that a master can't 'call' his house-elf outside of his house/property. if you've read my other Paladin stories you may remember Harry drew a square in the air outside of the Wizengamot and called Winky that way. Those there were surprised his house-elf came, and one asked if Winky was in the Ministry building. That's my take on it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 9:33pm

The beginning, due to the level of familiar plot being explained, was a little slow but this chapter rocketed off when you reached Millicent's house. Death Lemmings was a great term. Poor Millicent! The fight scene was superb. The continued injuries, spells and use of spell mongery was great. More please.

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 7:13pm

I really like this story. Milicent has always been a strong figure in my mind. You have described her so well. I can imagine Harry befriending someone in her situation even though they may have had a bad beginning to their knowledge of each other. Harry always looks deeper than most when he interacts with others. Look at how he feels about Dobby. Thank you for writing. I look forward to the next chapters of the Paladin Program on both fronts. Or is there going to be 3 fronts now? Thanks again, pms

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 11:42am

Now *this* is a decidedly different pairing (Harry/Millicent Bulstrode). However, if Harry/Pansy is workable, why not Harry/Millicent?

Some arguments *favoring* Harry/Millicent (in the context of non-canon pairings):

1. Like Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis, little is known about her *or* her family (less is known about Millicent than is known about fellow Inquisitorial Squadmate Pansy Parkinson, for example).

2. There could very well be *white sheep* Slytherins of Harry's generation. (While Susan Bones, like her mother, is a Hufflepuff, her aunt Amelia has been mostly cast in fanfiction as a Slytherin in a family of traditional Hufflepuffs. Shades of Sirius Black, the Gryffindor in a family of traditionally dark Slytherins, let alone older brother Regulus, the Death Eater That Saw Too Much (and that Voldy personally whacked for it).)

3. While Millicent may have a bit more *meat on her bones*, that need not necessarily be a *bad* thing. (Example: Lavender Brown.) Also, like Harry, she does actually play Quidditch (lest we forget, she's a beater on the House team) so they have that in common.

Now I'm curious: are there any other stories that exist with this pairing?

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 7:26am

Hmm, he's casting as if it's post-Aberration Day.

Neat spin-off you're starting here. Looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Aaran St Vines replied:

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Crys. In the other Paladin stories Harry was getting more powerful even with the first Acceleration potion. He just didn't have a real life fight to prove it until Aberration Day. Harry was plenty powerful fighting the two Fudge-minion Aurors before the aberration surge hit, he was just more powerful afterwards. Harry will experience an entirely different growth surge in this parallel universe. Cheers!

Quizer posted a comment on Sunday 15th April 2007 2:04am

So here's finally the third installment to the Paladin Parallel Universes. This should be interesting, especially as it diverges more from the other two stories which I always thought were a little too parallel. I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to more. Keep up the good work!


Quizer

DrT posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 10:59pm

Interesting. Just can't help yourself from multiplying universes, huh? I know the feeling.

"T"

Aaran St Vines replied:

I've noticed most real Alternate Universe stories where Harry goes somewhere else, aren't really that alternate. I have something else (short) in the works to go where no other authors have seemed to go. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Jim posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 4:21pm

Great story! I'm anxiously waiting for the next chapter. I particularly liked the next to last line. One question - If he was waiting for darkness anyway, why couldn't Harry fly them back to his home?

Aaran St Vines replied:

Er, the DEs know Harry lives with his family somewhere near Little Whinging, just not exactly where. They'll be looking for him there. Yeah, that's it. NO. Seriously, that is it. It's an important point later in this particular tale.

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 5:45am

Fabulous pairing and I love the way you simplified things so that we didnt have to read so much redundancy. I think there is a lot of potential for this pairing. Especially in the eyes of those of us who can truly empathize with Millicent. Great work and I look forward to reading more!

Gardengirl posted a comment on Saturday 14th April 2007 5:08am

Curiouser and curiouser. Do I understand correctly that this is the beginning of a new variation on the Paladin story? It doesn't feel like a stand-alone. Nicely written, and I do hope it's just the first of many bits.