Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 1st February 2007 12:06am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

About those spells on the coach, if Harry figures out a way to make them last for several hours without any further input, the UK MOD, as well as other national defence establishments, would pay him quite handsomely for his services. In combination with natural methods of signature reduction, it could do wonders for "stealth" and associated combat and reconnaisance capabilities. *smile* I should know, I've worked a number of low-observables programs over the years.

Manatheron posted a comment on Wednesday 31st January 2007 6:43pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

If at all possible I would like the names of these other authors, I believe I have found one or two myself, and I am interested in seeing if we have the same people on our lists.

I would prefer you e-mail me as I rarely check for replies to my reviews, if this is acceptable please feel free to contact me,

Manatheron@gmail.com

thank you.

Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Wednesday 31st January 2007 4:52pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

As with all chapters that I have perused so far, your work shines with gentle artistry. Relax once in a while, you must be working too hard on these pieces of fiction.

PsychoJester posted a comment on Wednesday 31st January 2007 9:56am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I actually find it quite refreshing that you don't shy away from putting religion into your fanfiction. It makes for a much more enjoyable accounting of the AU you are creating... not to mention that Paladins where holy knights sworn to the Church in a historical sense... welp keep up the good work man and I anxiously awate the next installment.

The Jester

DaZZa posted a comment on Tuesday 30th January 2007 10:25am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I'm enjoying your story more and more - especially now that you've posted the difference between this one and "Great Scot!" - I read this one because I'm tired of all the Harry/Ginny stories, and I'd rather see him diversify. :-)

Minor nitpick from this chapter - "We can easily talk while we go, and arriving in the Hogwarts coach is an impressive site." - should read "We can easily talk while we go, and arriving in the Hogwarts coach is an impressive sight."

As far as the religion thing goes - I think people flaming for a story including religious aspects is as stupid as those who complained about the under-age sex references that caused Kinsfire to remove several stories from this site. Ignore 'em and keep doin' what you're doin' - if you write anything excptionally religiously intolerable from my point of view I'll just skip that bit. :-)

cisham posted a comment on Tuesday 30th January 2007 9:00am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I like that you have added religion. It's nice to read a story where Christianity plays a part in a logical way. I really enjoy this story - more power to you.

atlantis-rob posted a comment on Tuesday 30th January 2007 2:36am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Awesome chapter! Great job on all the politicing and the setup for the meeting with the vamps and the representatives. Excellent discussions between harry and dumbles. And the discussion with hermione and their emotional reactions were well done too! Cheers!!!

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 5:35pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Great chapter. Harry's really coming into his own.

Thanks for sharing it with us.

Anaknisatanas posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:44pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Oh, this was an amazing chapter. I love the politics that have developed. I think that, especially with the Bulgarians, Harry should be able to gain plenty of foreign allies to hold Fudge in check for a while. Something definitely needs to be done about him regardless. I also like the scenes with the Goblins and Lee's sister. I will eagerly await your next update.

Sonicdale posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:43pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Bravo.
A great chapter.
The usage of faith in HPfic is not a problem for me. I liked your useage of it. And Harry's logic behind it. "if there's evil, there's got to be good."

The vampires were nice. It almost was "Harry gets along well with the goblins" cliche, but as the pompousness of the situation was getting silly, it was a nice change to see Harry do well.

This chapter had a few long speeches in it -- but then again, this is your story and the speeches needed to be made.

ONe last comment: The Flying Squad.
Will this come up again in the future? Or will it be just s small part? I got the feeling that it would be bigger, espcially since Harry didn't really comment on the "We're part of the Flying Squad" statement. He's either heard of it before or chose not to ponder it at the moment. Hope to see something come of it.

Good work.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 3:41pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Outstanding story and a great chapter. I really enjoy this story and the Christian parts fit well. It is your story, tell it your way. If someone doesn't like it they can stop reading.

gunny

John8 posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 8:21am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Excellent. The only grammatical/spelling issue is roughly midway through the chapter, when Harry and Dumbledore are speaking in the office with Snape present. You typed 'wave,' and I believe that it is actually 'waive.' But that nitpicky detail aside, this chapter was very well written.

arcrose posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 6:46am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I love your story (and it's "Great Scott" counterpart). I can't wait for the next chapter, and hope you can maintain a regular updating schedule. I also appreciate the dual story lines. Personally, I have no favorite pairing, but it's interesting to see how the different pairings affect things.

Onto other matters, the fallout from so thoroughly ignoring and undermining Fudge should be interesting. So should the school year, with Harry taking on the position of TA, not to mention all the foreign students. If the pure-blood Brits got so upset about American influence they changed 'Apparation' to 'Apparition,' their response to foreign students learning at Hogwarts, and possibly corrupting their prescious spawn should be interesting.

I also look forward to learning more about magic and spell mongering as Harry and his partner start on their research.

I eagerly await the next update.

Dorothy McComb posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:56am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Please forgive my not logging in to review, I'm at the office and my password is at home ...

Teeny tiny canon catch: The year Myrtle died was the year BEFORE Tom left school; it was his sixth year and he framed Hagrid in order to make sure the school would open the next year, his seventh. So the sentence should read something like: "The year after the basilisk killed Myrtle, when Tom Riddle finished Hogwarts in the spring of 1943, ...."

I was surprised that Dumbledore, aware of his own limitations, accepted the position of Headmaster. Knowing he was, and always would be, slightly mad, he should have turned it down. But then, I suppose he extended his blind trust even to himself, didn't he? And so he believed that he could do the job well, even with his handicap.

I was the one who posed the question to Kinsfire about who spilled the beans on Harry's Spell Mongery to Fudge (who presumably then spilled it to the Prophet). It seemed to me that Harry would wonder, given the very small number of people he told, who had reported back to Fudge. Kinsfire pointed out that Dawlish could have read Harry's journal while Harry and his Order minder were off elsewhere, although I think Dobby's presence might have been enough to keep him away. I just found it odd that Harry hasn't seemed even to be concerned with the issue.

As for the religion issue, I don't object to Christian elements per se, although I regard the bits in canon as cultural details rather than true depictions of religious practice. I don't like it when a hyperreligious message, either Christian or Neopagan or anything else, dominates a fanfic, but I won't do more than stop reading the story. I certainly wouldn't berate the author for writing it - at most I'd call them on a character being very much OOC, and possibly let them know why I'm not reading it anymore. I don't consider the Christian element in this story as being hyperreligious, though it is strong enough to make it obvious that the author is American and not British - but since I don't complain too much about Americanisms in most fanfics, I'm not going to complain about this. I think part of the reason I accept it easily here is because it fits into the background and is presented as "another system of doing magic" in a story which deals with multiple systems of doing magic.

Crys posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:49am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Interesting little piece of backstory on Millicent. It tells us where she's coming from and explains some of her possible behaviour. While "zealot" is perfectly descriptive, I'm concerned of the implications. "Fanatics" of all flavors tend to think "the ends justify the means" which could become really bad in all sorts of ways.

Snape, you're an idiot. By objecting to Harry as opposed to the unnamed PD author, you're simply proving how utterly biased you are. Everyone in the whole freakin' world can see it except you. I'm really looking forward to seeing how increasingly unstable he'll be when AD forces him into behaving himself properly.

Typo: "I freely admit I want to kill her because I wantto kill her, painfully as well." There needs to be a space added between "want" and "to". I only spotted one other error, and reviewer Evan Mayerle already pointed that one out. A punctuation error or two (e-mail me offline if you want me to list them), but nothing that detracts from the story.

This Paladin Program is becoming larger as it goes. Originally, I thought it was a fixed group, going through it all at once. Now we hear that many, many more will be arriving from foreign countries to become Paladins. With their emotional upheavels and very precise timing issues, I'd think that doing this during a school year would create many, many problems. It'll be interesting to watch as it develops.

We still haven't gotten a really satisfying conclusion with Malfoy. He ambushed Harry, blatantly defying the code of conduct that he'd agreed to. Why hasn't he been kicked out and maybe imprisoned?

Watching this blindingly unrepentant Snape and Harry on the same faculty . . . Oh, this'll get ugly. As Harry isn't officially staff (he never signed anything nor took any oath), then Snape has all the leeway he needs to continue to treat Harry like dirt and not violate the staff's code of conduct toward other staff members.

*growl* Someone put Fudge and Glean out of our misery.

> "More I don't know about because of a poor history teacher."
*snort* Not quite twisting the knife, but still.

I like that psychological profile you put together about the vampires. Your arguments make sense (and I had to look up one of those three words, too :)

Ah, Hermione will be an excellent administrative assistant and theoretical researcher (no matter what he thinks, she can't be a partner as she literally cannot do anything to directly help aside from being a guinea pig to help him smooth out his teaching the revised versions).

I like these two aurors. I hope they show up later. Out of curiosity, why did these two but not Bones's two come forward during the scuffle?

*laugh* Hagrid in a top hat? Okay, I can see him trying to be formal, but this mental image isn't any better than his hairy suit from GoF.

That whole apparition/apparation conversation was . . . confusing. I don't see the point of even including it except for the "Yanks are spoiling our language!" part.

*blink* [re-read] You just invented a magical cloaking device a-la Star Trek, didn't you? Show off :)

Hmm. Okay, I guess I can understand the reasoning behind AD's "can't see the bad in people" blindness. Not sure I completely agree, but you need a "good" AD for this story.

That Pont du Hoc attack . . . why do I have images from the movie "Guns of Navarone" running through my head?

[amused smirk] Seems more and more functionaries are recognizing that Fudge and Glean aren't the picture-perfect paragons of political perfection.

Originally, I was hoping for Harry to enter the chamber, greet Victor in some traditional manner (kiss on each cheek or something) and loudly proclaim that it's nice to see him again. Not only hose off the politicians that think their time is being wasted, but also clearly state that Victor's words of being a friend to Harry were true. The scene you built didn't allow that kind of aside, though. *shrug*

Short but wicked fight. Well written.

Dawlish, you're an imbecile. Only thing left is to figure out why Fudge wants a war with the vampire clans. Is it on LV's orders (whose reasoning is clear enough) or is it for some other purpose? Hopefully someone will slap the idiots around enough until it gets resolved.

It may look bad, but your having Harry fall to pieces afterwards is a good touch. Proves he's still human and relatively a child under all that power.

As the topic's been brought up: Your inclusion of religion doesn't fuss me at all. It's simply another piece of the story. Not intrusive or condemning anyone in any way.

Excellent story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

anonymous5 posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 3:59am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Brilliant. I no other stories have I come away feeling smarter for having read them. You combine intriguing history, riveting action, and thought-out mythology into - as they say - a rattling good yarn.

I find myself a little put off by some of the dialogue... I can't imagine anyone in his teens talking solely to friends in language quite as high and precise as Harry's appears to be. Maybe that's just my upbringing inside the DC Beltway rather than inside the halls of some highfalutin' British prep academy. :)

Thank you for the rapid update, and for providing such a unique and enjoyable story!

James Barber posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 3:14am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

Hey great update, and two in one month, I'm shocked! and for the a/n to hell with what people think. First of all its your story, 2nd its fiction, 3rd its story! if they dont like it they dont have to read it!

loralee posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 2:46am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I'm american i'm an assured of freedom of speech and freedom on religon, my belief is that includes freedom of religon in Harry Potter. :)

Great chpt, i loved the irony of Snape's 'honest' assessment. *snicker* liked Hagrid in a tophat as coachman. and of course Harry's made another personal ally of the count.

DrT posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 1:37am for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

(Pss't -- bombing raids on the UK started in the summer of 1940, not 1939) I liked your reasoning of why Dumbledore is so UNreasonable about trusting people.

Unless it's a major point, please get rid of Fudge soon and replace him with madam Bones or at least someone slightly reasonable.

"T"

Chrispy posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 8:18pm for Chapter Thirteen - Harry Goes International

I'm not thinking that religion has no place in the Harry Potter universe, as to that, I really don't care. I read your writings because I like them. QED.

Morso, I have a problem with your defense. :P It's a bit of a logical fallacy. Although, I'm not sure which one it is called, it's still a fallacy.

It's along the line that it would be silly to assume that I'm a Christian because I'm named Chris. Just because something *was* religious, and is currently used in a religious fashion by some, does not mean that it is regarded as religious by all. Just because I might say "Oh my god!" doesn't mean that I believe in god, silly as it may seem. It's just that there's no other good substitute for that phrase, as least one that doesn't sound silly.

Your defense says that since people don't react negatively to components of A; 1, 2, and 3 that they shouldn't react negatively to A, even though it consists of many, many more components, especially if A has component 45 which really doesn't sit well with a lot of people for some reason or another.

It's an oversimplification, to be sure, as things mutate, change and such over time to the point where the original is hardly comparable.


Lots of people like the Autobahn for example, but hate the man who made a great deal of them. That doesn't mean that there's a mad rush out to have those sections torn down, at least not by anyone sane.

One of the problems that religions have, is that they *have* to recruit people to survive, and this has cause some ugly evolution over time, as the fiercest recruiters will survive the longest. You'll see that religions that don't to this much don't have nearly as great a stigma against them. (Ignoring the recruiters of other religions of course) One of the minor reasons that I will never be a Christian is because I was told to "Go read the good book, the bible" by the person doing religious counsel at my university when I went to ask what I would call my own particular brand of godless faith.

The last sentence may have seemed like a little lopsided and tactless rant (Can't say it doesn't feel good to talk about it) but it was merely to express the point that people don't like having religion advertised, in any shape and/or form. They may no say or even realize as much, but they just don't like it.

I'm not sure if I conveyed myself clearly here, actually, I doubt if I was clear with all my points at all. (It's 4AM after all). I still hope you got the gist of what I was saying though. I don't have a quick 'n dirty solution for you, or an easy one, or even a moderately difficult one.

If we really want to get silly, we could say that all religions are the results of magic anyways, through whatever human driven process deemed possible. :p (And, that's why wizards aren't religious)

I hope you don't get offended by this too much, as it's trying to be constructive. I just don't know enough to eloquently express myself it seems.