Dorothy McComb posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:56am

Please forgive my not logging in to review, I'm at the office and my password is at home ...

Teeny tiny canon catch: The year Myrtle died was the year BEFORE Tom left school; it was his sixth year and he framed Hagrid in order to make sure the school would open the next year, his seventh. So the sentence should read something like: "The year after the basilisk killed Myrtle, when Tom Riddle finished Hogwarts in the spring of 1943, ...."

I was surprised that Dumbledore, aware of his own limitations, accepted the position of Headmaster. Knowing he was, and always would be, slightly mad, he should have turned it down. But then, I suppose he extended his blind trust even to himself, didn't he? And so he believed that he could do the job well, even with his handicap.

I was the one who posed the question to Kinsfire about who spilled the beans on Harry's Spell Mongery to Fudge (who presumably then spilled it to the Prophet). It seemed to me that Harry would wonder, given the very small number of people he told, who had reported back to Fudge. Kinsfire pointed out that Dawlish could have read Harry's journal while Harry and his Order minder were off elsewhere, although I think Dobby's presence might have been enough to keep him away. I just found it odd that Harry hasn't seemed even to be concerned with the issue.

As for the religion issue, I don't object to Christian elements per se, although I regard the bits in canon as cultural details rather than true depictions of religious practice. I don't like it when a hyperreligious message, either Christian or Neopagan or anything else, dominates a fanfic, but I won't do more than stop reading the story. I certainly wouldn't berate the author for writing it - at most I'd call them on a character being very much OOC, and possibly let them know why I'm not reading it anymore. I don't consider the Christian element in this story as being hyperreligious, though it is strong enough to make it obvious that the author is American and not British - but since I don't complain too much about Americanisms in most fanfics, I'm not going to complain about this. I think part of the reason I accept it easily here is because it fits into the background and is presented as "another system of doing magic" in a story which deals with multiple systems of doing magic.

Crys posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 4:49am

Interesting little piece of backstory on Millicent. It tells us where she's coming from and explains some of her possible behaviour. While "zealot" is perfectly descriptive, I'm concerned of the implications. "Fanatics" of all flavors tend to think "the ends justify the means" which could become really bad in all sorts of ways.

Snape, you're an idiot. By objecting to Harry as opposed to the unnamed PD author, you're simply proving how utterly biased you are. Everyone in the whole freakin' world can see it except you. I'm really looking forward to seeing how increasingly unstable he'll be when AD forces him into behaving himself properly.

Typo: "I freely admit I want to kill her because I wantto kill her, painfully as well." There needs to be a space added between "want" and "to". I only spotted one other error, and reviewer Evan Mayerle already pointed that one out. A punctuation error or two (e-mail me offline if you want me to list them), but nothing that detracts from the story.

This Paladin Program is becoming larger as it goes. Originally, I thought it was a fixed group, going through it all at once. Now we hear that many, many more will be arriving from foreign countries to become Paladins. With their emotional upheavels and very precise timing issues, I'd think that doing this during a school year would create many, many problems. It'll be interesting to watch as it develops.

We still haven't gotten a really satisfying conclusion with Malfoy. He ambushed Harry, blatantly defying the code of conduct that he'd agreed to. Why hasn't he been kicked out and maybe imprisoned?

Watching this blindingly unrepentant Snape and Harry on the same faculty . . . Oh, this'll get ugly. As Harry isn't officially staff (he never signed anything nor took any oath), then Snape has all the leeway he needs to continue to treat Harry like dirt and not violate the staff's code of conduct toward other staff members.

*growl* Someone put Fudge and Glean out of our misery.

> "More I don't know about because of a poor history teacher."
*snort* Not quite twisting the knife, but still.

I like that psychological profile you put together about the vampires. Your arguments make sense (and I had to look up one of those three words, too :)

Ah, Hermione will be an excellent administrative assistant and theoretical researcher (no matter what he thinks, she can't be a partner as she literally cannot do anything to directly help aside from being a guinea pig to help him smooth out his teaching the revised versions).

I like these two aurors. I hope they show up later. Out of curiosity, why did these two but not Bones's two come forward during the scuffle?

*laugh* Hagrid in a top hat? Okay, I can see him trying to be formal, but this mental image isn't any better than his hairy suit from GoF.

That whole apparition/apparation conversation was . . . confusing. I don't see the point of even including it except for the "Yanks are spoiling our language!" part.

*blink* [re-read] You just invented a magical cloaking device a-la Star Trek, didn't you? Show off :)

Hmm. Okay, I guess I can understand the reasoning behind AD's "can't see the bad in people" blindness. Not sure I completely agree, but you need a "good" AD for this story.

That Pont du Hoc attack . . . why do I have images from the movie "Guns of Navarone" running through my head?

[amused smirk] Seems more and more functionaries are recognizing that Fudge and Glean aren't the picture-perfect paragons of political perfection.

Originally, I was hoping for Harry to enter the chamber, greet Victor in some traditional manner (kiss on each cheek or something) and loudly proclaim that it's nice to see him again. Not only hose off the politicians that think their time is being wasted, but also clearly state that Victor's words of being a friend to Harry were true. The scene you built didn't allow that kind of aside, though. *shrug*

Short but wicked fight. Well written.

Dawlish, you're an imbecile. Only thing left is to figure out why Fudge wants a war with the vampire clans. Is it on LV's orders (whose reasoning is clear enough) or is it for some other purpose? Hopefully someone will slap the idiots around enough until it gets resolved.

It may look bad, but your having Harry fall to pieces afterwards is a good touch. Proves he's still human and relatively a child under all that power.

As the topic's been brought up: Your inclusion of religion doesn't fuss me at all. It's simply another piece of the story. Not intrusive or condemning anyone in any way.

Excellent story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

anonymous5 posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 3:59am

Brilliant. I no other stories have I come away feeling smarter for having read them. You combine intriguing history, riveting action, and thought-out mythology into - as they say - a rattling good yarn.

I find myself a little put off by some of the dialogue... I can't imagine anyone in his teens talking solely to friends in language quite as high and precise as Harry's appears to be. Maybe that's just my upbringing inside the DC Beltway rather than inside the halls of some highfalutin' British prep academy. :)

Thank you for the rapid update, and for providing such a unique and enjoyable story!

James Barber posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 3:14am

Hey great update, and two in one month, I'm shocked! and for the a/n to hell with what people think. First of all its your story, 2nd its fiction, 3rd its story! if they dont like it they dont have to read it!

loralee posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 2:46am

I'm american i'm an assured of freedom of speech and freedom on religon, my belief is that includes freedom of religon in Harry Potter. :)

Great chpt, i loved the irony of Snape's 'honest' assessment. *snicker* liked Hagrid in a tophat as coachman. and of course Harry's made another personal ally of the count.

DrT posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 1:37am

(Pss't -- bombing raids on the UK started in the summer of 1940, not 1939) I liked your reasoning of why Dumbledore is so UNreasonable about trusting people.

Unless it's a major point, please get rid of Fudge soon and replace him with madam Bones or at least someone slightly reasonable.

"T"

Chrispy posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 8:18pm

I'm not thinking that religion has no place in the Harry Potter universe, as to that, I really don't care. I read your writings because I like them. QED.

Morso, I have a problem with your defense. :P It's a bit of a logical fallacy. Although, I'm not sure which one it is called, it's still a fallacy.

It's along the line that it would be silly to assume that I'm a Christian because I'm named Chris. Just because something *was* religious, and is currently used in a religious fashion by some, does not mean that it is regarded as religious by all. Just because I might say "Oh my god!" doesn't mean that I believe in god, silly as it may seem. It's just that there's no other good substitute for that phrase, as least one that doesn't sound silly.

Your defense says that since people don't react negatively to components of A; 1, 2, and 3 that they shouldn't react negatively to A, even though it consists of many, many more components, especially if A has component 45 which really doesn't sit well with a lot of people for some reason or another.

It's an oversimplification, to be sure, as things mutate, change and such over time to the point where the original is hardly comparable.


Lots of people like the Autobahn for example, but hate the man who made a great deal of them. That doesn't mean that there's a mad rush out to have those sections torn down, at least not by anyone sane.

One of the problems that religions have, is that they *have* to recruit people to survive, and this has cause some ugly evolution over time, as the fiercest recruiters will survive the longest. You'll see that religions that don't to this much don't have nearly as great a stigma against them. (Ignoring the recruiters of other religions of course) One of the minor reasons that I will never be a Christian is because I was told to "Go read the good book, the bible" by the person doing religious counsel at my university when I went to ask what I would call my own particular brand of godless faith.

The last sentence may have seemed like a little lopsided and tactless rant (Can't say it doesn't feel good to talk about it) but it was merely to express the point that people don't like having religion advertised, in any shape and/or form. They may no say or even realize as much, but they just don't like it.

I'm not sure if I conveyed myself clearly here, actually, I doubt if I was clear with all my points at all. (It's 4AM after all). I still hope you got the gist of what I was saying though. I don't have a quick 'n dirty solution for you, or an easy one, or even a moderately difficult one.

If we really want to get silly, we could say that all religions are the results of magic anyways, through whatever human driven process deemed possible. :p (And, that's why wizards aren't religious)

I hope you don't get offended by this too much, as it's trying to be constructive. I just don't know enough to eloquently express myself it seems.

Kinsfire posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 5:16pm

I find myself rereadng this and wondering a handful of things:

Who told Fudge and company that Harry was a Mongerer? Dawlish (who likely would have been breaking in and readig Harry's journals)? Shacklebolt?

Why wasn't Snape surprised to hear that Harry is a Mongerer?

For that matter, when is Harry's prediction going to come true? There is no sign that Snape is NOT a Dark wizard. I would imagine that Dumbledore will get the absolutely minimum punishment that he can for Snape. I fully expect that his blinding trust of everyone and everything will lead to his death. (I found it interesting that the phrasing was not that he asked the mind healer to help him build the wall, but that he wouldn't be released until he had that wall.)

Will there actually ever be any resolution between Harry and Hermione? If there is one word to describe Harry, that word would be 'stubborn'. (You could use 'tenacious' if you wanted to be polite, but 'mule-headed' fits too.) He's said "No romance until I'm through with Riddle" and I can imagine that he'll follow through on that. Where will that leave Hermione, though. He'll break her heart without meaning to, all in the name of keeping her safe, or whatever his excuse is. (Actually, his excuse is quite selfish, and I'd imagine that Father William will make the point to him that in the effort to not have a distraction, he's likely to build walls so high in his single-mindedness that he'll have done to himself a version of what Dumbledore has had done to him.)

But I'm impatient for the romance, so that's my problem. *laugh*

I am definitely looking forward to the next installment of this most excellent story.

Aaran St Vines replied:

Kinsfire - This response is to both you and Ishtar, who reviewed from work while not logged in to FFA. I placed a small clue in the tale around the battle of Little Whinging which will lead to how the Ministry found out Harry was a Monger. For the life of me, I can't at the moment remember why it was, but it is in my outline to revive that issue in a few chapters, so 'll make it clear then. (I've recently realized that I have to re-read my story-to-date to gather up all my loose ends to clarify.) Snape knows Harry is a Monger because Dumbledore told him for some reason along the way - airhead that the Headmaster can be. Regarding the H/Hr relationship - I have matured Harry in so many ways in my tale because I can't stand that even after HBP, he's still an immature brat with little training to see him survive a dirty fight with Draco, much less Old Snake Face. However, Harry is still a teenager in a few emotional ways. He has every intention of keeping his pledge of no romance until Voldie's gone. That resolution will last seventeen more days in my story, until August 25th - the Day of Infamy. I "think" I have a typically Aaran St Vines method for the two to declare their feelings for each other. Stay tuned to this channel for further developments. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Daniel Hensley posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 4:49pm

Personally I loved this chapter, and I have only read two or three stories that accurately incoperate religion of any kind into the story. I can not wait until you and the other authors on this site and many others I read send in more chapters, I guess that is what I get for being such a voracious reader.

katie4 posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 4:29pm

Ithank you for acurately portraying Christian themes in this story. As a fairly devout Lutheran it is nice to read a story where Christianity, when it is dealt with, is not maligned. Please keep up the good work, I enjoy reading a well though out and intelligenly written story.
Katherine

Lostchyld posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 2:27pm

I rather enjoy the Christian themes in this story, can't see why anyone would have a problem with it. It isn't like you're preaching, it's simply presented as a plot device for character growth. On the other hand, some people are remarkably dense.

Keep up the good work.

-Caet

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 2:13pm

The same typo in the first sequence as I mentioned in my review of the other variant: "...should have no been killed..." should be "...should have no more been killed..."

I do rather like how the negotiations went, the "personal touch" does so ease matters at times. The Baron made the classic mistake of arrogance, believing that none can effectively oppose you. Really, given that Harry is a Spell-Monger who has produced Thunderfire, attacking him could almost be seen as a bit of a death wish, or at least a truly severe case of underestimating the opposition.

traveller posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 2:12pm

First of let me just say that I enjoy your story.
Now that that ´s out of the way, on to the real reason for this review, namely the issue of religion in HP as discussed in your AN.

The only thing I can say is kudos to you.
And I say this as a rather convinced atheist.

The debate if JKR put religion in HP or if she wrote a secular story is an interesting one, and in my mind in no way settled.
You brought forth some arguments, and although on the surface strong, they are debatable.
The term Godfather, in several european languages, has nothing to do with either church or belief. The concept of Soul is also one discussed outside of religion.

In the end it doesn ´t matter. Religion is part of the Eurochristian heritage, whether you believe or not. Who of us does not admire the work of some of the greatest artists in our history whose work found their inspiration in religious storytelling?
What that means, is that I still enjoy your story, even if I do not partake of religion, of whichever era.

It is your right as (fanfic)author to write the story as you see fit, and if I wish to read it, I will read all of it.
I do not go around editing out parts of Mozart I don ´t like either.

Keep on writing and I will keep on reading.

Traveller

zac posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 1:22pm

Personally i think that your and Kokopelli's incorporation of God into your fics is Brilliant. I personally am not a believer (grew up devout catholic) but have never found anything objectionable in your stories. Please disregard the people that are unable to look past their beliefs and see a really great story. Thank you for writing.

Kinsfire posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 12:24pm

I find myself sorry that the necessity of the Author's Note at the bottom. Personally, while not Christian, I don't mind such things arising in a story, as long as it does not end up detracting from the story. I've seen stories where the person used Harry Potter as their vehicle for witnessing, and it showed by being more of a Christian tract than a Harry Potter story. Even, sadly, the story being written by one of your betas.

You are handling it well. You're not slapping us in the face with it. Your logic as to how Harry comes to Christianity is compelling, and well worked into the story.

One small nit to pick with the story, however.

JULY 6, 1944? Aren't you a month too late with that?

Aaran St Vines replied:

Good catch on the date error. And imagine, I was a History major specializing in WWII. Thanks!

Alex Tremaine posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 12:14pm

I've been following this for awhile, and while the Spell Mongering was interesting, the story in itself didn't stand out enough to make me say anything, so I haven't reviewed. (Yes, I know that's practically criminal.... but the comments on religion have changed my mind.

I am a Fam Trad Pagan, by upbringing and choice, and I find nothing wrong with anyone using religion in their stories, even if it's not my religion, such as this story.

Do you really know why? It's a story. A good one, but only a story, designed to entertain, amuse and possibly say something the Author wants to say. Aaran St. Vines is not forcing anything down your throat as Gospel, nor does he insist you read it as Holy Writ.

Jeez People... Pull your heads out of your fourth point of contact and realize the truth. You have the power to ignore anything in the story... including the religion.

Stop acting as if Aaran's brainwashing you and read a good story simply to read a good story.

(Aaran, can we please have Ron walk inas Millicent has a Fangirl minute and snogs the hell out of Harry? Imagining the look on his face would be priceless.)

jzysman posted a comment on Sunday 28th January 2007 11:19am

Out of curiosity, do you have a preference for where you like to receive reviews? Here or Portkey? I really love this story, among my all time favorites.

Aaran St Vines replied:

I'd like to have as many reviews as I can at both sites. But I know that's asking a lot. I'm catchng this site up with Portkey and PS where the two stories reside singularly, but I use those sites as final betas so I can add whatever corrections come from the comments. So FFA will always be a little bit better, but also a little bit behind Portkey. You choose from there which site you prefer, but thanks loads for reading and reviewing wherever. Cheers!

Donald McLeod posted a comment on Saturday 27th January 2007 12:54pm

I like it. Your Spell Mongery idea in the story line is fresh and help give harry dimention as a real person of magic and not a super magic person. So all and all your story is great looking for more updates. Thank you.

Prince Charon posted a comment on Friday 26th January 2007 9:54am

Forgot to ask:

If Harry sells a spell he's mongered to another Spell Monger (perhaps Ginny or Hagrid), could that Monger then sell it to others, or would they have to re-monger it?

If he sold it to an Arithmantic Spell Crafter, could that Crafter modify it to be taught to others?

If someone - Hermione, for example - were both a Monger and a Crafter, could she Monger/Craft a spell that could be taught by others?

Prince Charon posted a comment on Friday 26th January 2007 9:45am

Interesting. Very, very interesting, in all aspects.

Thank you for the update.

More soon, please.