By Aaran St Vines
Reviews
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 1:06am
A very fun and entertaining history built into the story here, and with them finding out more of this info, should be very interesting to see what effects this might have on Magical Britain later on, especially as people start to realize that maybe things can be changed for the better, and that just because the pure-bloods in control say it's this thing, but it might mean it's really that thing.
James Barber posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 12:02pm
Interesting little history lesson! So I take it that the umbrigde crowd has hidden the fact that they can only use the weasley block of 46 wizengamot votes for 10 generations, which my calculations would make it up by now, so the weasleys should be legally getting them back except that they and nobody else knows about it! and oh yeah harry, I would like to give you some hard earned advice...I'm in my late 40's and you are one stupid son of bitch...I would give everything I own to have a woman like hermione love me! and your just pushing her away trying to protect her...thats about the stupidest reason I have ever heard...let me give you a little heads up, heres looking at it form a the snakelips eyes and his deatheaters, you want to hurt potter, take out his friends, especially the girls close to him! Potter an IDIOT! she already on their to kill on site list, so what are you waiting for!
takon65 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 5:58am
I love this story. The only thing that I'm curious about is the "Department of Magic" Having a Department of Magic implies that it is subbordinant tot he muggle government at least to me.
Crys posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 3:10am
When you were growing up, you wanted to be a history teacher, didn't you?
That back-story was quite entertaining.
Loved how you tied little bits into the story. Madison, WI; badger state; Boston Tea Party; etc.
The PoV was probably off (Newcastle wouldn't have quoted dialogue from 200 years prior), but it makes for a better story this way.
Oh, and if the American MoM could write that story down, Harry (and the Weasleys) would have great fun publishing it far and wide in Britain.
I noticed that we never learned why there is a discrepency between Newcastle's story and the document regarding how long the Weasley family lost their Wizengamot vote. Curious on how that dangling thread will be tied off eventually.
Hey, got another prodigy (American this time) coming over for the Paladin program, huh?
> "That thing. The project you need to complete before we go back to school."
Not subtle, Ginny, but then this IS your brother we're talking about.
> "What was that about?" Harry asked.
> "No idea.
[cough]bullshit[cough]
Er, I don't recall the specifics at this point, but 1) isn't Hermione a Paladin and 2) aren't they on a VERY strict diet? Somehow, I can't see that . . . ethnically diverse meal being pre-planned.
> No, this fight may be my fate, but it's not my destiny."
Good line.
> "Good," Hermione said with determination, "a revolution. Everyone needs a hobby."
Snerk!
Enjoying the story. Now off to read the differences.
oso983 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th July 2008 12:01am
Hi,
great to have you back! It was an interesting chapter. Though I have to admit that I am looking forward to more 'present time' story.
morriganscrow posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 11:50pm
Your magical history lesson was fascinating, logical and seamlessly fitted into conventional history. Clearly a huge amount of thought had gone into it.
The other thing I really liked was how all those threads from the past were still active and significant in the modern day.
I most sincerely look forward to your next update.
Patches posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 4:49pm
This is very good. I like the way Harry is interacting with Hermione. Quite different from Harry and Ginny but they are different people! I look forward to your next update. Thanks for updating both together. pms
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 4:45pm
Great chapter! I love what you are doing with these stories. I find it interesting that the social aspects in the two stories are so very different... the restaraunt vs. the flying and brooms.
The history lesson was great and I look forward to Harry and company discovering if the version of history that Harry learned was true... or if Umbridge's family has done something to steal the votes from the Weasley family in perpetuity.
I hope that you are able to post more soon... and I would LOVE to see more of the other offshoot, with Millicent. Total Kudos to you.
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 2:35pm
It's a good history lesson with a short chapter attached. :-)
And I couldn't help but notice that women named Matilda Madison tend to meet sticky ends with Dark Lords. Is the current holder of the name going to be a deliberate comparison to Harry? Someone who's grown up all along with do-or-die expectations? Perhaps even a romantic rival for (Hermione|Ginny)?
If it was me, I'd have put in a separate 'story' like 'When Harry Lectures Hermione' or even as a larger piece like 'Makers of Fine Wands'. But either way, it adds another rich piece of history to the back story.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Wolf550e posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 10:56am
please contain your inner apple fanboy.
FenrisWolf posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 10:19am
What I've been waiting for? You mean we're finally going to see Draco devoured by carnivorous flamingos and Moldishort's robes infested by flying foxes in tutus? Yay!
Nic Clarke posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 9:00am
A very informative chapter - one (!) problem with canon is that moest aspects of wizarding culture are ignored or simply don't stand up to close scrutiny. Your explanations of the Wizangamot and now magic in the Colonies give fantastic background to your story.
I would echo DrT's comments on railways - early 1800s for the first steam "locomotives" of Richard Trevithick, and Stephenson's Rocket (first passenger train) didn't run until 1825).
DrT posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 7:57am
Some historical notes: I think you'll find the long-bow was pretty rare in England until after 1300, when it was adopted from the Welsh. cholera, typhoid, and tb were still major killers and if anything growing worse as London grew; disease theory is more of a 19th century idea, and of course trains only get started in the 1820s (even regular coach service was less than 60 years old in 1692! the first decent steam engine was still more than 10 years in the future. Singapore was founded in 1819.
uthamm posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 5:24am
Excellent. I love the lengths that you have go to to add depth to the Wizarding world. Very nice!
FenrisWolf posted a comment on Sunday 8th June 2008 3:11pm
I don't know if all the entries have been tallied for the name of Clarinda's shop, or if this duplicates someone else's idea, but what about 'Phoenix Fashions'? It would serve as a connection to the Light side through a Phoenix's natural affiliation, not to mention a symbol of renewal, as in 'fashions rising from the metaphorical ashes of outdated styles', etcetera. And it's a symbology that would cross over into the Mundane world, as the mythological Phoenix is reasonably well known there, at least within Western society.
Clarinda might even be able to design a few Senior styles and get Dumbledore(with Fawkes on his shoulder) to endorsae them. Fawkes might even be persuaded to act as the shop's SpokesPhoenix in return for a percentage of the net profits going into an educational fund providing clothing to needy Hogwarts' students. What do you think?
FenrisWolf posted a comment on Friday 6th June 2008 9:12pm
Good chapter; a bit wordy and expository at points, but it was necessary background to set the stage for your version of the HP universe.
One little quibble. I know the heavy Christian theme in this story reflects your own beliefs and that's fine, readers who are turned off by the same can always go elsewhere if it becomes too much for them, but I do quibble at the all-caps LORD in the prayer. Keep in mind that in netspeak all caps is shouting, and at least to me that's how Father William comes across, all peaceful and monklike until he suddenly shouts out "LORD!" in the middle of a sentence. It's a little distracting, and while it may be good Bible, it seems to me to be bad storytelling. Your congregation is already in the pews, reverend, no need to shout at us to get our attention....
lr_williams posted a comment on Monday 2nd June 2008 9:04am
I'm starting to have withdrawal!!!! More Please!!
I've been wondering, will the grownup Harry ever see the Dursleys again. Will he try to make peace with Petunia.
arwen posted a comment on Monday 12th May 2008 10:03am
I really like this story :) The only complaint I have is that Harry looks like a complete idiot so far. I mean, I get that he's just a kid, but seriously. He is SOOOOOOOO clueless!
Darth Voldie posted a comment on Friday 2nd May 2008 5:58am
In regard to your question:
It doesn't work. The facts that Rowling has given us don't fit. Regardless of how you look at it, the numbers just don't work out in any sensible way for one simple reason: Rowling couldn't be bothered to do some very simple math and that's why there are a number of glaring continuity errors, especially were numbers are concerned.
So you needn't worry about this problem; since JKR messed up, you as a fanfic author have the right to change the facts to make them fit and to adjust them to the needs of your fic.
Dervish posted a comment on Friday 11th July 2008 6:28pm